Sarcasm Humor Quotes

No. No way. That name is reserved for females with grace and elegance, not this girl. This girl is...beastly.

I guess we'll just sit around here and casually die, then.

I have to tell you the truth. But you are too ugly for it.

Fakeer Ishavardas

Civilization is held together by duct tape and spit, and I'm worried about the duct tape.

Jacqueline Patricks

Well we can't be having that. One person starts having fun and it turns into an epidemic. Difficult to stop that kind of thing, you know.

Lauren Cagliola Green

... the house is on fire, but go ahead - finish painting the verandah...

There is never a bad joke, it's adressing to a wrong audience that makes it look bad!

Ramana Pemmaraju

He shook off the thoughts—that wasn’t anything he needed to worry about tonight. Any secondnow, he was going to hear the chime of a new text message, the chime that signaled the demise of rich,slick Maybe-next-time-we-can-meet-for-more-than-two-minutes-which-also-happens-to-be-how-long-I-last-during-sex Tyler Roland, Attorney-at-Law.Vaughn picked up his phone to check that it had a signal.Yep, any second now.

He sure told you off, huh, Icy?" ~Darcy

VIZ Media

Arch turned and looked at Ian. The other man was fiddling with the neckline of his shirt. “You're just jealous, Ian, and wishing you had a soul mate of your own. In fact, I don't think any woman will be safe until you get one.” Ian shot him an unamused look at his words.

The sarcasm made a slight whistling noise as it flew over Loafers' head.

Well, I think Leo's either going to learn a much needed lesson in social activity-- or go nuts and kill us all." -Crash

Hazel Blackthorn

Son-- "We don't need ladders, we have obsidian, bro."Mommy's thoughts-- "............................... .......fucking minecraft

Mel Brown

I’m sure I have no idea what you are talking about PRINCESS.” He tilted his head and half curtseyed when he said the last word.“That! That is what I am talking about. Since we ran into the others you have been cold and more arrogant than usual.” She kept her voice low so the others would not hear.“Is that so? I would say I was averagely arrogant

Do you really think that God in his heaven with all the angels, there from the beginning of time and looking towards the day of judgement day, really looks down on all the world and see's you and little harry and says 'whatever you choose to do is my will?' "Yes i do." she says uncertainly.

Philippa Gregory

Reality Sucks, I want my dreams back.

Sandra Chami Kassis

If you 're serious about getting it on again, be sure to give me some advance notice, so I can grab my appointment calendar and block out three minutes.

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Dying's a bitch, and I would know.

Kyoko M.

You jealous souls are primeval without a doubt,Teach yourself to eat better instead of trying to eat one's heart out.

Adhish Mazumder

— Why did blondes vote for Clinton? — They didn't know how to read and thought she can make their life hilarious!

You are soft person you said. But you're soft as shit: it is very soft but stinking!

Ilze Falb

And just how did you arrive at that remarkable conclusion, Mr. Mayor?""In a rather simple way. It merely required the use of that much-neglected commodity -- common sense. You see, there is a branch of human knowledge known as symbolic logic, which can be used to prune away all sorts of clogging deadwood that clutters up human language.""What about it?" said Fulham."I applied it. Among other things, I applied it to this document here. I didn't really need to for myself because I knew what it was all about, but I think I can explain it more easily to five physical scientists by symbols rather than by words."Hardin removed a few sheets of paper from the pad under his arm and spread them out. "I didn't do this myself, by the way," he said. "Muller Holk of the Division of Logic has his name signed to the analyses, as you can see."Pirenne leaned over the table to get a better view and Hardin continued: "The message from Anacreon was a simple problem, naturally, for the men who wrote it were men of action rather than men of words. It boils down easily and straightforwardly to the unqualified statement, when in symbols is what you see, and which in words, roughly translated is, 'You give us what we want in a week, or we take it by force.'"There was silence as the five members of the Board ran down the line of symbols, and then Pirenne sat down and coughed uneasily.Hardin said, "No loophole, is there, Dr. Pirenne?""Doesn't seem to be.

And just how did you arrive at that remarkable conclusion, Mr. Mayor?""In a rather simple way. It merely required the use of that much-neglected commodity -- common sense. You see, there is a branch of human knowledge known as symbolic logic, which can be used to prune away all sorts of clogging deadwood that clutters up human language.""What about it?" said Fulham."I applied it. Among other things, I applied it to this document here. I didn't really need to for myself because I knew what it was all about, but I think I can explain it more easily to five physical scientists by symbols rather than by words."Hardin removed a few sheets of paper from the pad under his arm and spread them out. "I didn't do this myself, by the way," he said. "Muller Holk of the Division of Logic has his name signed to the analyses, as you can see."Pirenne leaned over the table to get a better view and Hardin continued: "The message from Anacreon was a simple problem, naturally, for the men who wrote it were men of action rather than men of words. It boils down easily and straightforwardly to the unqualified statement, when in symbols is what you see, and which in words, roughly translated is, 'You give us what we want in a week, or we take it by force.'"There was silence as the five members of the Board ran down the line of symbols, and then Pirenne sat down and coughed uneasily.Hardin said, "No loophole, is there, Dr. Pirenne?""Doesn't seem to be.

Don't worry. Life goes on. With or without you. So, live it, while it's given you.

Fakeer Ishavardas

I improvise therefore I exist!

Ljupka Cvetanova