Sarcasm Humor Quotes

No. No way. That name is reserved for females with grace and elegance, not this girl. This girl is...beastly.

I guess we'll just sit around here and casually die, then.

I have to tell you the truth. But you are too ugly for it.

Fakeer Ishavardas

Civilization is held together by duct tape and spit, and I'm worried about the duct tape.

Jacqueline Patricks

Well we can't be having that. One person starts having fun and it turns into an epidemic. Difficult to stop that kind of thing, you know.

Lauren Cagliola Green

... the house is on fire, but go ahead - finish painting the verandah...

There is never a bad joke, it's adressing to a wrong audience that makes it look bad!

Ramana Pemmaraju

He shook off the thoughts—that wasn’t anything he needed to worry about tonight. Any secondnow, he was going to hear the chime of a new text message, the chime that signaled the demise of rich,slick Maybe-next-time-we-can-meet-for-more-than-two-minutes-which-also-happens-to-be-how-long-I-last-during-sex Tyler Roland, Attorney-at-Law.Vaughn picked up his phone to check that it had a signal.Yep, any second now.

He sure told you off, huh, Icy?" ~Darcy

VIZ Media

Arch turned and looked at Ian. The other man was fiddling with the neckline of his shirt. “You're just jealous, Ian, and wishing you had a soul mate of your own. In fact, I don't think any woman will be safe until you get one.” Ian shot him an unamused look at his words.

The sarcasm made a slight whistling noise as it flew over Loafers' head.

Well, I think Leo's either going to learn a much needed lesson in social activity-- or go nuts and kill us all." -Crash

Hazel Blackthorn

Son-- "We don't need ladders, we have obsidian, bro."Mommy's thoughts-- "............................... .......fucking minecraft

Mel Brown

I’m sure I have no idea what you are talking about PRINCESS.” He tilted his head and half curtseyed when he said the last word.“That! That is what I am talking about. Since we ran into the others you have been cold and more arrogant than usual.” She kept her voice low so the others would not hear.“Is that so? I would say I was averagely arrogant

Do you really think that God in his heaven with all the angels, there from the beginning of time and looking towards the day of judgement day, really looks down on all the world and see's you and little harry and says 'whatever you choose to do is my will?' "Yes i do." she says uncertainly.

Philippa Gregory

Reality Sucks, I want my dreams back.

Sandra Chami Kassis

If you 're serious about getting it on again, be sure to give me some advance notice, so I can grab my appointment calendar and block out three minutes.

Susan Elizabeth Phillips