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Without civilized social graces, not only is life more difficult, but a positive first impression can be destroyed as fast as it is made.
Susan C.Young
While good old-fashioned manners and etiquette have worked for centuries, new standards and expectations have come into play with the modern world. Behaviors which would have been appalling in the past are now socially acceptable.
Susan C.Young
Regardless of the trends we see in the deterioration of morality, respect, and values, wise people will still strive to take the high road to rise above the ever-increasing rudeness and stand apart from the crowd.
Susan C.Young
I remember hearing years ago about a centenarian being interviewed on her birthday. She was asked, “Throughout your life, you have witnessed amazing change and innovation. The past one-hundred years have brought the inventions of the car, television, air conditioning, and microwave ovens. What is the most extraordinary change you have seen in your lifetime?” Without missing a beat, she replied, “That a teenager can say “suck” in front of their parents and get away with it!” While cultural norms may have changed with the times, being considerate of fellow human beings is not an antiquated notion; its time hasn't ended. Quite the opposite is true. In our world today, kindness and politeness are needed more than ever.
Susan C.Young
The elegance of etiquette is a timeless expression of class which transcends social status, demographics, educational level, and ethnicity. Good manners say more about you than the person who is on the receiving end.
Susan C.Young
Take the initiative with deliberate steps to be a polite person:1.tCover your mouth when you cough or sneeze.2.tReciprocate a thoughtful word or a good deed in kind.3.tSay "excuse me" when you bump into someone, unintentionally violate someone’s space, or need to get someone’s attention.4.tApologize when you’ve made a mistake or are in the wrong.5.tLive by the "Golden Rule" and treat others the way you would like to be treated.6.tWhen dining at home or in a restaurant, wait until everyone is served before eating your meal.7.tAcknowledge notable events like birthdays, weddings, and anniversaries.8.tReply to invitations, regardless of whether you will be able to attend. 9.tAcknowledge and show gratitude for gifts and gestures of hospitality.10.tPut things back where they belong. Leave the world a better place than how you found it.
Susan C.Young
To Polish the Gold & Help Others Shine . . . take the time to mine the gold.Actively seek the goodness in others then express your gratitude for it. Excavate the dirt, seek the treasure, and polish their gold to shine boldly and brightly. People will rise to your positive expectations and belief in them.
Susan C.Young
To Polish the Gold & Help Others Shine . . . Say something nice!My wise mother raised us with the philosophy that if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. That is a Southern custom if there ever was one! It is easy to find fault, criticize, condemn, and complain—but none of these behaviors will help you enjoy positive relationship results.
Susan C.Young
To Polish the Gold & Help Others Shine . . . Catch people doing things right:Outstanding leaders know that people will be more engaged, perform at higher levels, and be more loyal when they are appreciated and celebrated. Jeff West, international speaker and author of The Unexpected Tour Guide, shares that “People will jump over high hurdles, fight fires and break through walls for leaders who find them doing things right. Building that kind of chemistry is essential if a team is going to jell.” Capitalize on the opportunity to notice what people are doing right at work and at home and they will deliver their best. As the old saying goes, “A person who feels appreciated will always do more than expected.
Susan C.Young
To Polish the Gold & Help Others Shine . . . Make a list of positives:Whether you would like to nurture a healthy relationship or improve a toxic one, make a list of positives which you admire about the other person. Begin by identifying, acknowledging, and focusing on their good qualities. Your perspective and how you feel about the person will begin to shift. You will find it much easier to polish the gold from a perspective of gratitude and appreciation.
Susan C.Young
To Polish the Gold & Help Others Shine . . . Flip your positivity switch:What is your first instinct? If you are quick to find fault, look for the negative, or complain about another person, knock it off! It makes you less fun to be around. When you feel those negative thoughts and judgments coming in, catch yourself and STOP!
Susan C.Young
To Polish the Gold & Help Others Shine . . . Brag about their accomplishments in front of others:For years, I have shared that the definition of a good friend is someone who says nice things about you behind your back. And the definition of a GREAT friend is someone who says GREAT things to others in front of you. One of the kindest things a husband or wife can do for their relationships is to brag about their partner’s qualities to other people.
Susan C.Young
To Polish the Gold & Help Others Shine . . . Focus on the Positives:Focusing on the positives will get you further in business and further in life. Whatever you focus on will expand. If you focus on what you do not like about another person, they will become so intolerable to you that you cannot bear to be around them. However, if you focus on their positives and can find something redeeming, regardless of how small, the positivity needed to experience a more constructive interaction and relationship will manifest before your eyes.
Susan C.Young
To Polish the Gold & Help Others Shine . . . Be complimentary:Find something positive to say to compliment another person. Whether they are being a great parent, dressing nicely, maintaining a gorgeous yard, or winning a recent 5K run, pick something to acknowledge which is noteworthy.
Susan C.Young
To Polish the Gold & Help Others Shine . . . Acknowledge their achievements:Great achievements require great effort and usually come dressed as hard work. Move beyond merely recognizing the achievement and express admiration for the effort it took to get there.
Susan C.Young
All compliments are not created equal. Some may change the trajectory of a person’s life, while others fall on deaf ears. Is it well deserved or earned? People will remember you fondly when you have affirmed them in a positive way. Paying compliments creates good will, happy moments, and makes you more likable in return.
Susan C.Young
What are the key elements for a fabulous, well-delivered compliment? You . . .•tare sincere and genuine.•tgive it freely without expecting anything in return. Your compliment is a selfless gift, not a boomerang.•tare specific and detailed.•telaborate on why you like something.•tdescribe how their positive virtue has positively impacted you.•tcan use adjectives for more colorful descriptions.•tkeep it positive.•tsay it like you mean it with intentional impact.•tuse discretion and good judgment.•tleave no room for misinterpretation or misunderstanding.•tsay the right thing at the right moment and let it flow organically.Finding sincere ways to compliment others is a powerful way to make a great first and last impression.
Susan C.Young
UN-Impressive ‘Compliments’ . . .•tWhen compliments are used as a passive-aggressive way to manipulate others for personal gain.•tDelivering a back-handed compliment which makes others feel bad.•tDishonesty—you say it but really do not mean it.•tFalse bravado.•tManufacturing the moment for your ulterior motives.•tPandering to win affection, a vote, or approval.•tExaggerating and being over-zealous.•tBeing hypocritical.•tExpressing preferential treatment or making an unfair comparison.•tWhen it draws attention to a person’s weakness, disabilities, or shortcomings.•tWhen it is inappropriate and off-color.
Susan C.Young
Graciously Accepting a Compliment. How many times have you offered someone a sincere compliment only to have it thrown back in your face as if your assessment were wrong? How did you feel? Women are notorious for this social misstep and poor maneuver. Why do they do it? Rejecting a compliment makes the compliment-giver feel as though they should have said nothing.
Susan C.Young
Refusing someone’s kind words can cause the one doing the complimenting to feel bad. Not only might they regret trying to be nice, but you may have cut off your chances of being complimented by them ever again. Being humble is one thing; being rude is another. Practice receiving compliments with grace, dignity, appreciation, and gratitude. The perfect response to a fine compliment is simply, “Thank you!
Susan C.Young
Why Polish the Gold?•tIt builds your confidence when you realize that your words have power and can positively influence. •tAs you seek to find the good in others, you will enjoy the ripple effect reminder for finding the good in yourself.•tIt makes a great ice-breaker to begin a conversation.•tIt helps you meet new people and make new friends.•tIt strengthens your relationships and builds mutual admiration.•tIt brings more happiness and joy into your life.•tA little praise goes a long way to make others happy.
Susan C.Young
Service [sur-vis] noun1.t the act of helping, aiding, or doing work for another.“Does this dictionary definition sound simplistic? Well, it is foundational to delivering world-class, game-changing service. Did you notice it didn’t mention you? True service takes the focus completely off you and devotes it entirely to the needs of another person.
Susan C.Young
As you read in The Art of Being, having a heart of service and generosity is a powerful state of being and a positive way to make a great first impression through valuing others. "Service Beyond Self" encourages you to take deliberate action steps to rise above self-interest and ask what you can do for others, not what they can do for you.
Susan C.Young
Where my previous motivation had been a self-serving ambition, my new service mindset was dedicated to serving a vision greater than myself. Within a year, I quadrupled my income, and then I doubled it every year thereafter. This service mindset quickly taught me that by helping others achieve their goals, I could more easily achieve my own.
Susan C.Young
The Service Mindset. When I began my real estate career at the age of twenty-two, I had a fresh Bachelor’s Degree in Marketing in one hand and ‘a tiger by the tail’ in the other. I was on a mission to be successful in life and in business and make a lot of money in the process. Every goal I set was about Me. Me. Me! I was driven by: How much money could I make? Which property listings paid the biggest commissions? How many calls did I need to make to schedule new appointments? How many listings did I need to have to hit my target? You can see where I am going with this! Working full-time, nights and weekends, seven days a week, I only made eleven thousand dollars in the first year! I was tired, disillusioned, and knew that I had to either change careers or massively shift my mindset.I chose the latter. I took ALL focus off me and re-directed my time, energy, and resources to serving my clients. Their hopes, needs, and desires became my primary focus. How could I help solve their problems? And then EVERYTHING began to turn around . . .
Susan C.Young
Be the "Liker"“If you want to be liked, BE THE LIKER!” This was some of the best advice my enlightened mother ever gave me. Throughout my childhood, teen years, and adulthood, this golden nugget of simple wisdom empowered me to take personal responsibility for developing friendships. When you want to reach out, make new friends, and increase your likeability factor, step up and “like” others first. They will usually mirror your initiative and like you back.
Susan C.Young
Ignoring his advice, I got up, walked over, gently rested my hands on two of their shoulders and said, “Ladies, I have to tell you how much you have impressed me. I just moved to Madison from Florida and left behind all my girlfriends. I have been sitting over there admiring your friendships. You remind me so much of my girlfriends back home and I had to come over and speak with you.” And without missing a beat, I next asked, “Can I be your friend?” They were so impressed by my sincere request, they kindly opened their circle and invited me in.
Susan C.Young
Begin to take the initiative when you want to meet someone new. Be the one who steps forward first. Simply say hello and begin a conversation.
Susan C.Young
I spend a great deal of time on airplanes traveling from one speaking engagement to the next. There have been times when I have sat for hours next to strangers with whom I never made eye contact or uttered a word. But then I have also met people with whom I engaged in such delightful conversation that it resulted in new business and referrals. The main difference was whether or not I took initiative to begin a conversation.
Susan C.Young
Introduce Yourself. Being confident and outgoing will empower you to approach new people who might be reluctant to take the first step. It is amazing how many people we come in contact with yet pass like ships in the night without any engagement or connection.
Susan C.Young
Take the initiative to introduce yourself. One morning I was sitting on a bike in a spinning class at my gym. There was a lady whom I did not know sitting on the bike next to me. As we waited for the instructor, I decided to break the silence and start a conversation. I took the initiative to introduce myself and within a few short minutes, I knew her children’s names, how long she had lived in Madison, which exercise classes she preferred, and where they went for Christmas. When the class was over, I confirmed that I remembered her name correctly, reminded her of mine and shared that it was a true pleasure meeting her. A simple introduction turned a stranger into a fresh and delightful new acquaintance.
Susan C.Young
Extend Invitations"How many times have you sat at home alone feeling jealous or sad that you were not invited to a party or out to dinner? You may have seen people having fun on Facebook and wondered what it would take to be included next time. And when you don’t feel included, it can leave you feeling rejected, dismissed, lonely and excluded. It does not have to be this way. Why do we wait for others to do the inviting? You can change your social life instantly by taking the initiative to reach out and connect with someone.
Susan C.Young
Be the Inviter“When I began my speaking career, I designed and delivered motivational programs for children teaching them success skills for life. Before going into a middle school one year, I interviewed the principal, Alexis Tibbetts, to ask what words of wisdom her students desperately needed to hear from me. She shared, “Kids can be so cruel. Some of the children never feel included or a part of something special. Please tell them that rather than being lonely and getting their feelings hurt, they can start doing the inviting.” Her words were spot-on. Alexis went on to become a well-loved superintendent of schools in Okaloosa County, Florida. Her words of wisdom were game-changing for her students. They can be game-changing for you as well.
Susan C.Young
Imagine how many new friends you would make, how much new business you could create, and how much fun you could have by simply taking the initiative to be the inviter. Try it today. Welcome new relationships into your life that would never have occurred otherwise.
Susan C.Young
I disagree with the adage, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” Good intentions are powerful mindsets which will drive your actions to accomplish the results you want. Setting good intentions sets you up for success by providing you with a vision and a plan to “get ‘er done” and make it happen!
Susan C.Young
The road to hell” (in the metaphorical sense, of course), occurs when the people who have good intentions fail to act, follow-through, or live up to their promises, all of which creates stress, frustration, and disappointment. People can be earnest and well-meaning, but their words become hollow when actions do not follow their words. By setting good intentions and taking deliberate action to back intentions up, you can transform your results.
Susan C.Young
Why Do Some People NOT Take Initiative?•tThey have a FEAR of . . . rejection, looking stupid, failing, criticism, getting out of their comfort zone, or imposing on other people.•tThey are unmotivated or uninspired.•tThey get stuck in negativity, confusion, stress, or doubt.•tThey don’t want to upset the apple cart or the status quo.•tThey are lazy, disengaged, or indifferent.•tThey have LACK of . . . energy, desire, confidence, self-esteem, skills, creativity, imagination, connections, resources, education.
Susan C.Young
The first step in getting unstuck and moving forward is to examine what is holding you back from taking action. The power is yours to set your intention and take the action needed to create the life you desire. You are in control of your initiative—be proactive.
Susan C.Young
communication skills, quotes by Susan C Young, relationship quotes, how to be complimentary, motivational speaker Susan Young, positivity quotes, positive first impression quotes, susanspeaks.com, find the best in others
Susan C.Young
As a lifetime optimist, my first tendency has always been to look for the best in others, the best in situations, and focus on what is working rather than what is not. Noticing the good has helped me immensely in life and business and it can do the same for you.
Susan C.Young
Years ago, I read Andrew Carnegie’s metaphor "developing people is like mining gold." He shared that sometimes you must move tons of dirt to find an ounce of gold. Every one of us has dirt because we are all imperfect and fallible. However, within each of us lies a vein of gold. When you find this treasure, regardless of how small, and begin to polish it, a person will shine so brightly the dirt falls away.
Susan C.Young
Polishing the gold in others is easy to do and a valuable habit to develop to transform your relationship results. People will usually rise to the occasion and live up to your positive expectations.
Susan C.Young
Finding the good in others is mutually rewarding for both you and the fortunate recipient of your kind words. Don’t you love being around people who make you feel great about yourself? Don’t you want to do business with people who make you feel valued and important? Wouldn’t you rather work with people who appreciate and respect you? Of course you would! Now go out and do that for others! When you become a generous good-finder you will infuse positive energy, optimism, and good will into their lives, as well as your own.
Susan C.Young
Polishing the gold in others will not only make them feel better about themselves, but it will also elevate you in their eyes as well as your own. Gifting others with your words of affirmation is an easy yet generous way to spread goodwill and create a positive experience for everyone.
Susan C.Young
Polish the Gold. Be an optimist; look for the best in others, the best in situations, and focus on what is working rather than what is not. It's golden!
Susan C.Young
Service Beyond Self. Value others; have a heart of service and generosity. Rise above self-interest. Ask what you can do for others, not what they can do for you.
Susan C.Young
Take the Initiative. Be proactive. If you want to rock your relationship results, it is going to take action, effort, initiative, and choosing to get in the game—so, step up, step out, and show up!
Susan C.Young
Mix, Mingle, Glow. Stretch beyond your own comfort zone to speak with, sit with, and start conversations with people whom you do not know. Take the initiative to help other people capture the spotlight and shine.
Susan C.Young
Communication is the soul of all relationships. More than any other skill, it is the heartbeat of success in sales, marketing, marriage, business, friendship, communities, and beyond.
Susan C.Young
Since we are all unique and individual, being cognizant of different personality styles will help you better recognize where others are coming from to minimize barriers, build trust, and catapult your newfound communication skills into meaningful connections. The savvy socializer knows this all.
Susan C.Young
The actor, writer, and director Woody Allen once said, “80% of success is just showing up!” You Can Show Up By . . . •tParticipating.•tSharing ideas.•tBeing dependable.•tKeeping your word.•tTaking the initiative. •tVolunteering to be of assistance.•tBeing there when a friend needs you.•tRaising your hand and asking questions.•tAttending your children’s sporting events.•tTaking your place and claiming your space.•tDemonstrating that you have something to offer.
Susan C.Young
Get in the Game“As soon as you say something can’t be done, you will be passed by a person who is already doing it.” – Unknown“Do you typically observe the game of life from the sidelines, sit in the penalty box, play your heart out on the field, or show up when the opportunity has already passed by and ask, “What happened?”Your answer to this question will reveal a lot about your initiative. Granted, various situations call for diverse levels of interest and engagement. However, if you want to rock your relationship results, it is going to require action, effort, initiative, and choosing to get in the game.
Susan C.Young
I love acronyms, don’t you? They are quick and easy tools for remembering important lessons that are too good to forget. The PEACE acronym goes straight to the heart of the matter for delivering "Service Beyond Self." When you do this one thing, you will increase your opportunities, earn loyalty and respect, and rock your first and last impressions.Persistently Exceed All Customer Expectations
Susan C.Young
13 Simple Ways to Deliver Service Beyond Self1.tMake it Easy for People to Do Business with You.2.tBe an Awesome, Sincere Listener. 3.tListen to Customers’ Words and tone of voice, body language, and how they feel. Ask questions, listen, and meet them on their level. Explain, guide, educate, assist and do what is necessary to help them get the information they need to fully understand regarding their question or issue.4.tShow Enthusiasm. Greet customers with genuine interest. Give them your best. Think, act, and talk with positive enthusiasm and you will attract positive results. Your attitude is contagious!5.tIdentify and Anticipate Needs. Most customer needs are more emotional rather than logical. 6.tUnder Promise & Over Deliver. Apply the principle of “Service Beyond Self” . . . give more than expected. Meet and exceed their expectations. If you can’t serve their needs, connect them with whoever can. 7.tMake them Feel Important.Our deepest desire is to feel important. People rarely care how much you know until they know how much you care. Use their names, find ways to compliment them—and be sincere. 8.tTake Responsibility for their Satisfaction.Do whatever is necessary to help them solve their problems. Let them know that if they can’t find answers to their questions to come back to you for help.9.tTreat your TEAM well. Fellow colleagues are your internal customers and need a regular dose of appreciation. Thank them and find ways to let them know how important they are. Treat your colleagues with respect; chances are they will have a higher regard for customers. 10.tChoose an Attitude of Gratitude. Gratitude changes your perspective and helps you appreciate the good rather than simply taking it for granted.11.tPerform, Provide and Follow-Up.Always perform or provide your service in a spirit of excellence and integrity. If you say you’re going to do something—DO IT! There is tremendous value in being a resource for your customer. If you can help them to succeed, they are more likely to help you succeed. 12.tUse Gracious Words. "Thank you, thank you very much.
Susan C.Young
12 Simple Ways to Deliver Service Beyond Self1.tMake it Easy for People to Do Business with You.2.tBe an Awesome, Sincere Listener. 3.tListen to Customers’ Words and tone of voice, body language, and how they feel. Ask questions, listen, and meet them on their level. Explain, guide, educate, assist and do what is necessary to help them get the information they need to fully understand regarding their question or issue.4.tShow Enthusiasm. Greet customers with genuine interest. Give them your best. Think, act, and talk with positive enthusiasm and you will attract positive results. Your attitude is contagious!5.tIdentify and Anticipate Needs. Most customer needs are more emotional rather than logical. 6.tUnder Promise & Over Deliver. Apply the principle of “Service Beyond Self” . . . give more than expected. Meet and exceed their expectations. If you can’t serve their needs, connect them with whoever can. 7.tMake them Feel Important.Our deepest desire is to feel important. People rarely care how much you know until they know how much you care. Use their names, find ways to compliment them—and be sincere. 8.tTake Responsibility for their Satisfaction.Do whatever is necessary to help them solve their problems. Let them know that if they can’t find answers to their questions to come back to you for help.9.tTreat your TEAM well. Fellow colleagues are your internal customers and need a regular dose of appreciation. Thank them and find ways to let them know how important they are. Treat your colleagues with respect; chances are they will have a higher regard for customers. 10.tChoose an Attitude of Gratitude. Gratitude changes your perspective and helps you appreciate the good rather than simply taking it for granted.11.tPerform, Provide and Follow-Up.Always perform or provide your service in a spirit of excellence and integrity. If you say you’re going to do something—DO IT! There is tremendous value in being a resource for your customer. If you can help them to succeed, they are more likely to help you succeed. Use Gracious Words. "Thank you, thank you very much.
Susan C.Young
Decide today to take a stand, make a plan, and get. No one ever said it was going to be easy and wouldn’t require effort. It will sometimes require that you go against the grain, face great challenge, conquer fear, overcome obstacles, and bounce back when knocked down. Choose to keep moving and don’t give up. And if your ship still doesn’t come in—swim out to it!
Susan C.Young
Initiative is The Start of All Good Things. Your ship will never come in if you don’t send any out. Have you ever found yourself dreaming, hoping, and waiting passively for things to change or for your life to get better?
Susan C.Young
Do you ever sit back and wonder how and why other people are so successful, productive, or accomplished? What is the driver that inspires them to go for the gold, seize opportunities, and make things happen?
Susan C.Young
Rather than being green with envy, realize that a dramatic difference between the “haves” and “have-nots” is the “do” and “do-nots.” If you are seeking positive change and transformation, what can you begin to do?
Susan C.Young
First, take complete responsibility for your life and current outcomes. Then take proactive steps for the necessary action to move forward in your desired direction. This personal choice is at the heart of your achieving impressive results. Taking initiative is the start of all good things born from action . . .•tGrowth•tCreativity•tEnterprise•tInvention•tSuccess•tSolutions•tAccomplishment•tDevelopment•tPositive Change•tTransformation
Susan C.Young
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