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Having moved from Florida to Wisconsin, it has been an interesting exercise for me to attend networking events where I did not know a soul. I would silently scan the room to see who was approachable and who was not. It was those individuals who put out the approachable vibes whom I would be magnetized toward to engage in conversation.
Susan C.Young
Are you being approachable when you are around new people? Ever not know what to say? Simply smile when you make eye contact. This is a subliminal invitation to help others feel safe—allowing a conversation to follow naturally.
Susan C.Young
As humans, we are all insecure to a certain degree, and we don't want to risk looking stupid, being rejected, or feeling awkward.
Susan C.Young
An approachable person intuitively knows how to set new acquaintances at ease and create a safety net for them to be vulnerable and authentic.
Susan C.Young
Welcome" is a word to use often! Leaders who maintain an open-door policy inspire trust, teamwork, and healthier communication. They are more likely to earn respect, gain buy-in, and foster collaboration.
Susan C.Young
When individuals feel comfortable approaching their leaders, their confidence to share ideas, discuss problems, and offer suggestions is strengthened. It emboldens them to take personal ownership and perform at higher levels within the organization.
Susan C.Young
Unfortunately, unapproachable leaders create a tense environment that may prevent their people from bringing their best strengths and talents or challenges and solutions forward.
Susan C.Young
You can shift other people's attitudes by shifting your own. When people project rudeness, impatience, and intolerance they attract the same in return. If someone looks like they are having a difficult day, you can shift their world by simply sharing a kind word.
Susan C.Young
Modeling for others a sincerely positive and encouraging countenance will not only enrich their lives, it can foster trust and appreciation for you. This subtle technique of mirroring can help others feel compatibility with you and lead them to feel better about themselves. A win for everybody!
Susan C.Young
5 Tips for Mirroring Others1.tBody language. When they smile, you smile. When they lean back in their chair, you lean back in your chair. When they cross their legs or fold their arms, you do the same.2.tVocabulary or specific words. Notice their language and the words they choose and use—their keywords, expressions, expletives, or phrases. 3.tCommunication style. People receive, process, and deliver information in different ways. Notice whether someone is results driven or relaxed, emotional or pragmatic, talkative or observant. Recognizing their style will enable you to adapt your style to theirs to build rapport and improve communication.4.tVocal style. a.tSpeech rate—If they are talking fast, you talk fast. If they are talking slowly, you talk slowly. Consider rhythm, pace, and tempo. b.tVolume—If they are speaking quietly and softly, match their volume. c.tTone—Mirror their emotion, tone, and pitch. You can even seek to mirror their grammar and dialect, as long as it is discreet and respectful.
Susan C.Young
Mirroring and matching works at the sub-conscious level and serves to make the other person feel more “comfortable” and connected to you. These subliminal actions can create a subconscious feeling of unison and connection that demonstrate how much you have in common.
Susan C.Young
Your eyes are the windows to your soul” indeed. It is a cliché for a good reason—it is a timeless truth with universal application.
Susan C.Young
Your direct eye contact is one of the best compliments you can give another human being. You are subliminally telling them that you are listening, they matter, and that what they have to say is important.
Susan C.Young
Meaningful eye contact has the power to transcend time and space to connect us with others and can be one of the most gracious and important ways to demonstrate attention and respect.
Susan C.Young
When you make eye contact with another person, you can send thousands of silent messages without even speaking a word. No wonder eye contact can be both a direct form of communication and an elusive attribute at the same time.
Susan C.Young
One simple glance can convey to your recipient that you are . . .•tPresent•tInterested•tPaying attention•tBeing respectful•tListening•tConfident•tEngaged•tCaring•tDedicated•tAppreciative•tEmpathetic•tFocused•tSupportive•tTrustworthy•tAcknowledging•tExcitedThis list barely scratches the surface; however, it opens the conversation about how vital your eye contact is for making positive first impressions.
Susan C.Young
Whether it is in a sales situation, love at first sight, a husband and wife having an important conversation, a parent disciplining a child, or a teacher instructing her students, eye contact is a powerful body language for enriching engagement, focus, and communication.
Susan C.Young
What makes one person approachable and another one not? That simple difference alone can make or break your success in your life, in your relationships, and in your career.
Susan C.Young
Approachability is a crucial way of being that empowers you with an extraordinary edge to make a great first impression, invite interaction, build rapport, and win friends.
Susan C.Young
Don't you love meeting an approachable person? They roll out the proverbial “welcome mat.” Their energy and engaging openness make us feel safe. They project the messages, “I'm so glad to meet you. I like you. Tell me more about you. I'm so glad that you're here,” without even saying a word.
Susan C.Young
We’ll Leave the Light on for You! This Motel 6 slogan has been a successful marketing strategy for years because of its warm invitation and friendly welcome. They know that the comforts of home appeal to us all.
Susan C.Young
Expect good things from people; they feel it. You never know who you are going to meet, and projecting approachability will open doors of opportunity for you that you may not have discovered otherwise.
Susan C.Young
We are comforted when a person, place, or business is warm and inviting. Making us feel this way increases the likelihood that we will want to learn more, do business with them, or pursue a meaningful interaction.
Susan C.Young
Consider how others may feel about you before, during, and after talking. Are you projecting an attitude that results in others feeling accepted and welcome? Are you encouraging people to speak and engage with you through your approachability?
Susan C.Young
The consistency of their moods and emotions creates a predictable and consistent outcome that can be reassuring in our turbulent times. You know you can depend on approachable people to be well balanced, accepting, and empathetic to the needs and feelings of others.
Susan C.Young
Approachable people are “straight-up.” It is comforting to know exactly what to expect when you see them. What you see is what you get!
Susan C.Young
Being a keen observer, I would think to myself, who is approachable? Who is someone I'd like to know? Who is putting out welcoming vibes?
Susan C.Young
Whether you smile to make a great first impression for customer service, building rapport, communicating your intentions, networking, sharing your happiness, closing deals, or demonstrating you are fully present and engaged, smiling is the key to your success.
Susan C.Young
Smiling Bloopers•tInsincere smiling can backfire! (Different from a shy smile that just beckons a friendly "hello.")•tTransitioning from a smile to a straight face, too quickly, may give others the impression that you are fake or do not like them.•tGoing overboard and smiling all the time, especially when it is inappropriate, will make you appear insincere.•tIf your mouth smiles, but your eyes don’t, there is a disconnect that can make you appear less authentic and trustworthy.
Susan C.Young
Trying to engage with an unapproachable person can lead to embarrassment, alienation, and resistance. Why would we set ourselves up for that kind of pain and failure? It’s no wonder that people may avoid them—the risk of rejection is too great.
Susan C.Young
There are new habits you can adopt starting NOW that make you approachable and encourage other people to engage with you.
Susan C.Young
The approachable individuals are the first ones that I introduce myself to because they make me feel emotionally safe.
Susan C.Young
Approachable people . . . 1.tUse body language to their advantage.2.tAre open-minded to new people and new experiences.3.tEncourage others to feel better about themselves.4.tAre willing to be told not what they want to hear, but what they need to hear.5.tProvide an inviting aura that is warm and comforting.6.tRealize that authenticity and transparency earn trust.7.tIntuitively tune into the feelings and needs of others.8.tAre emotionally steady and respond appropriately when they sense awkwardness or discomfort in others.9.tRadiate happiness and curbs cynicism. 10.tProvide a safe environment for others to express themselves.11.tMake others feel valued and appreciated.12.tListen and consider other people’s viewpoints and opinions.
Susan C.Young
Mirroring is a powerful neuro-linguistic programming technique that can be used to bond with others, build rapport, and reach mutual understanding more quickly. You may already be using it instinctively without even being aware.
Susan C.Young
Mirroring is simply the process of discreetly matching and mirroring the subtle behaviors and qualities of the person with whom you are connecting. It's a form of behavioral reflection that unconsciously reveals, "We're more alike than we are different.
Susan C.Young
Mirroring is especially helpful when our differences may divide. Think of the times when you have made a diligent effort to speak in another person’s native language to communicate and connect with comfort. By doing this, you are extending a considerate courtesy to meet them where they are, thus removing barriers and improving engagement.
Susan C.Young
Coordinating your gestures with someone’s subtle behaviors, can help you gain understanding, realize comfortable compatibility, and develop mutual trust.
Susan C.Young
Why Does Mirroring Work? Scientific research suggests ‘mirroring’ techniques works because of the mirror-neurons which are fired in our brains when we both perceive and take action. When we observe someone doing something, we may feel as if we are having the same experience.
Susan C.Young
When you see someone smile, does it naturally make you want to smile back? When you are irritable, do you find that people mirror your irritability? When someone yawns around you, do automatically do the same? When you hear someone celebrating, do you feel inclined to join in and celebrate too? Your responses are not forced, but instinctual and empathetic.
Susan C.Young
Mirroring provides social cues through body language and behavior which enable us to develop more empathy and understanding for others.
Susan C.Young
Who are we the most comfortable with? People who are the most like us! The “Similarity-Attraction Hypothesis” (Newcomb, 1956) found that similar (real or perceived) personalities are a major determinant of our likability and friendship choices. It is simply human to gravitate toward people like us. This tribal inclination runs the gamut across demographics of age, ethnicity, culture, education, religion, and even personality style. Mirroring will enable you to find ways to create the comfort of familiarity through similarity.
Susan C.Young
Since we know people like to do business with people who are most like themselves, consider this: Excellent sales people understand that "matching and mirroring" another person’s body language is a powerful technique and subliminal way to develop trust, build rapport, and make their clients more comfortable and engaging. Subtly mirroring the postures, gestures, and body language of your client inspires a kinship of commonality.
Susan C.Young
Early in my sales career, various sales trainers taught our teams how to use matching and mirroring to build rapport and earn trust with our clients. When done well, it would inevitably help us improve customer service and closing ratios. It was not encouraged as a deceptive sales practice to manipulate, but rather a subtle way to make a great first impression and connect on a meaningful level.
Susan C.Young
By mirroring, speaking, and moving in tandem with my clients, I provided them with a sense of familiar comfort and ease which helped us work well together. When they leaned forward, I would lean forward. When they crossed their arms, I would cross my arms. When they began speaking slowly and quietly, I would do the same. These subtle actions help to us to communicate more effectively.
Susan C.Young
Becoming aware of what you are doing and how others perceive you will provide you with instant insight for making changes where necessary.
Susan C.Young
Whatever you are putting out into the universe is going to be returned unto you and have a direct correlation to what you are getting back. In many ways, you are a magnet and manifest accordingly.
Susan C.Young
Think of your personal and professional life—are you attracting what you want? Are you attracting the kind of people you like? Do you feel that life is working for you or against you? How have others been treating you? Are you pleased with your results?
Susan C.Young
7 Ways to Improve Eye Contact at any Time1.tRelax into the moment by smiling.2.tPractice making eye contact with people you trust, so that when you are with strangers, it is easier to form a connection.3.tWhen you feel uncomfortable, begin by looking at their mouth or forehead.4.tLean in and show that you are interested and attentive.5.tPut a little space between you and the other person.6.tRemember that the other person may be feeling just as awkward.7.tDon’t give them a blank stare throughout a conversation. Rather, practice gazing down or to the side every few moments so that you appear relaxed.
Susan C.Young
Have you heard that a smile is the shortest distance between people? I love that! There is nothing like a genuine smile to create a first impression with positive impact.
Susan C.Young
A genuine smile is inviting, contagious, encouraging, and brings joy into the world. It instantly tells others that you are glad to see them, that they are important and you are approachable.
Susan C.Young
Accompanied with good eye contact, a smile serves as an immediate icebreaker to warm up relations and turn a stranger into a friend.
Susan C.Young
You can transform your entire physical appearance, personal experience, energy, and social success simply by smiling. And it is also good to do just for you!
Susan C.Young
Smiling is truly one of the most generous gifts you can give to another. You never know when your smile may inspire the sad, encourage the hopeless, heal a heart, or change someone's world for the better.
Susan C.Young
You would be surprised how even the simplest of smiles can ease a social situation, encourage another, remove barriers, and dissolve differences. It is not only a gift to the recipient, but you will receive affirming returns on your investment.
Susan C.Young
Smiling reduces blood pressure by lowering the stress-inducing hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. As my mother, who is now in her eighties, navigates the challenges of aging, her mantra has become, “Keep moving and keep smiling.” She has observed the rapid decline of her friends who haven’t. She is striving to stay strong, happy, and vital; her desire to smile is helping her to live a healthier, more satisfying, and longer life.
Susan C.Young
Research has shown that smiling releases endorphins—the happy hormones that shift your physiology for improved well-being. When you smile and your eyes crinkle, your body releases chemicals that change the chemistry of your brain, lifting spirits, and reducing pain. Even when it is hard to smile and you are forcing it, positive changes take place in your physiology.
Susan C.Young
Your smile draws people to you as it simultaneously brings out the best in you both.
Susan C.Young
Your smile is a kind hello and a sincere invitation that opens the gateway to engage others and begin conversations.
Susan C.Young
Your smile is a magnet for goodwill and positivity. In unison with your attitude, people gravitate to happy people!
Susan C.Young
As the saying goes, "Smile and the world smiles with you, cry and you cry alone.” Smiling is a universal symbol of happiness that transcends language and communication challenges.
Susan C.Young
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