Morganville Vampires Quotes

It's been happening since I was in kindergarten. Not them all the time, but other kids, you know. Every day. It never stops, and it never goes away, thanks to the Internet--it just keeps happening every minute, every day. And I just want it to stop. I think about how to do it, you know. How to kill them. All kinds of elaborate things, like trapping them in pits and burying them alive, or covering them with concrete.

Afternoons are hard. Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don't do them anymore.

Now we're in the middle of a three-sided vampire war. Which would be an awesome video game, but I'm really not interested in playing for real. I like my reset buttons.

I ended your experiment. Because you're not a scientist. You're a monster. I'm not leaving any of them at your mercy.