Laughed My Butt Off Quotes

The front door slammed and Dad said, “Aurora, sure you aren’t expecting a package?”I leaned back to find him army-crawling under the window in the living room. Like all dads do. “Already told you no, Rambo.”“The new mailman is back.” Dad reached up and pulled the curtains closed before standing up and peeking out. “Won’t come to the door.”“M shot a tranquillizer dart at the last guy.” Mom gave a tired look at M who shrugged unapologetically. “The fact that there’s a new one willing to be on our sidewalk is a miracle. Don’t scare him off, Clyde.”Dad tried to block me when I went for the curtains. “He won’t let me sign for your package. Demanded you come out in person.”“I’ll get my tranq gun!” M made for her room.“Don’t you dare!” Mom chased her.I swished back the curtains to get a look at the petrifying postman. “I find his interest in my teenage daughter creepy,” Dad grumbled.Oh, he had no idea.

A.E. Kirk