Jane Jameson Quotes

Up until two years ago, I was one of the top-selling real estate agents in the tricounty area. I went to a convention in Boca Raton. I had one too many margaritas, met a tall, pale, and handsome man in the bar, and woke up a vampire.""I was mistaken for a deer and got shot," I offered.""Oh.

Molly Harper

I am not the kind of girl who trusts a man to tell her everything she needs to know in his own due time, so I did some research on my sire. You can take the girl out of the library, but you can't take the neurotic, compulsively curious librarian out of the girl.

Molly Harper

Wal-mart started selling "Vampire Home Defense Kits", including holy water, crosses, stakes, mallets, and a book of quick blessings to bar vampires from your door. The fact that these kits were generally useless didn't bother me nearly as much as the idea of holy water being sold at wal-mart.

Molly Harper

It took me awhile to learn the rules. OK, it took the librarian in me weeks of careful obsessive research to learn the rules. There was a label maker involved. I'd rather not go into it.

Molly Harper

What was that?" Rich combined the pain of a crooked arm with the indignity of a flicked ear. I could only hope the situation didn't escalate to the dreaded purple nurple.

Molly Harper

Some vampires wouldn't react if you shoved a rosary down their pants, though I wouldn't recommend testing the theory.

Molly Harper

We finally settled on Francis Ford Coppola's version of Dracula, which, unfortunately, Gabriel seemed to think was a comedy. I think it was the combination of Keanu Reeves's British accent and Gary Oldman's elderly Count Dracula hairstyle. They're just misleading.

Molly Harper

I would have taken Zeb, purely for entertainment value, but he had an actual date, with a real girl. That hadn't happened in a while, so I was a good friend and put my own needs second to the possibility of him actual sex with a real girl.

Molly Harper

She's your mother. I asked, Plus, you do look a bit like her. When you're angry, you both get these tense lines around your mouth...Look, there they are.

Molly Harper

Jane Jameson."He grinned. "Like the porn

Molly Harper

Would you kick her ass already?" Dick said, shoving me back toward Missy. "Come on, Stretch, man up. You do better than this! Get mad."I nodded, rolling a dislocated shoulder back into place with a grunt and staggering back toward my opponent. Behind me, Zeb yelled, "She tried to hurt Fitz!" He turned to Gabriel and Dick. "That'll get her mad."Gabriel rolled his eyes. "She's been framed for murder twice over, shot in the back, her arms were set on fire, and her parents are being held hostage. You think tampered dog water is what's going to make her angry?" "You tried to hurt my dog!" I wheezed as I lurched toward a grinning Missy.

Molly Harper

I wanted to call you, but I find myself feeling...awkward when it comes to you.""'Awkward' is the word du jour," I agreed. "So, I make you nervous?""Not quite nervous," he said. "Just unsettled."I wriggled my eyebrows and inched a little closer to him. "Unsettled, that's even better.

Molly Harper

Besides, my drinking blood's not nearly as weird as that time I caught you shaving your legs.""I was curious!

Molly Harper

Wait, is this a nice-ish way of telling me we had sex and I was lousy? That's how you can tell I'm inexperienced? Because, if so, that's just rude. And what were you doing at Shenanigans? And how did you find me on the road?"Gabriel looked wounded. "To answer your questions in order: The only body fluid I exchanged with you is blood--""That's very comforting, thank you.

Molly Harper

I grabbed my purse, which was conveniently place by the front door. Gabriel was such a considerate abductor/host. He even left the front door unpadlocked.

Molly Harper

Idiot," I said, before grinning broadly and crushing his mouth to mine. "We need to pick new pet names for each other," he muttered as I hefted myself up from the ground.

Molly Harper

Get the point?" I asked, offering the boys a triumphant smile.Gabriel, Zeb, and Dick stared at me, aghast. "What? Sarcastic postkill comeback. Isn't that what you're supposed to do in situations like this?Too harsh?

Molly Harper

I offered you a choice, and you took it."I shot him what I hoped was a truly scathing glare. "Some choice. I was dying. Some drunk shot me from a pickup. Why wouldn't I have just woken up with gonorrhea like every other girl of loose moral fiber?

Molly Harper

Why not? If you're not going to let me see you naked, we might as well be girlfriends.""You're a twisted little man.""Come on, Stretch, share with the class.""No!" I laughed."Prude.""Perv.""Schoolmarm.""Some other word that essentially means perv.

Molly Harper

Don't worry about being nervous. A lot of vampires have trouble with this from time to time. It happens to everyone.""If I was a forty-year-old man suffering from erectile dysfunction, that would be a great comfort to me, thanks.

Molly Harper

Dick called, but he just left dirty voice-mail messages. Let's just say if I'm ever in the market for a massage involving canola oil and marabou feathers, I'm covered.

Molly Harper

Most of the people you read about being turned meet vamps in clubs or over the Internet...Ew, did you...?""Yes, I met a vampire on the Internet, went to his evil love den, and let him turn me, because I'm that brainless.

Molly Harper

Leaving knots untied and scattering seeds to distract them will only work on vampires with OCD.

Molly Harper

I always hoped for this spark of chemistry and compatibility, a flash of clarity to let me know that this was the guy, this was the time, so I should leg go and enjoy myself. But it never came. And by no small coincidence, neither did I.

Molly Harper

Zeb was kindergarten teacher--a good one. I always thought it was because he was the same emotional age as his students.

Molly Harper

You want to stab me again, don't you?"He didn't look at all ashamed. "Think of it as testing the limits of your new abilities."I groaned. "I've created a monster.""I don't think someone who recently crawled from the grave should be throwing around labels like 'monster,'" he said, making sarcastic little air-quotes fingers. "It wasn't a grave," I sniffed. "It was a comfy four-poster.

Molly Harper

And soon we were just rolling around on the ground, cursing and screeching and ripping out handfuls of hair. Without super hearing, I wouldn't have heard Zeb whisper, "This is the coolest thing I have ever seen.""Maybe they'll get muddy," Dick said. "Please, Lord, let them get muddy.

Molly Harper

Are you going to answer my questions, or do I have to whack you with a stick until delicious candy surprises fall out?

Molly Harper

If looks could kill...well, Dick was already dead, so nothing would happen. But Gabriel was not laughing."See Dick," Dick said, pointing at his chest. He then swept his hand dangerously close to mind. "Jane. Dick and Jane. Come on, you humorless jackass. That's funny.

Molly Harper

I fixed your car," he said, tossing the keys from a jade dish on the little maple end table.I palmed them and eyed him speculatively. "You fixed my car?""I have walked the earth for more than a century. I managed to pick up some skills along the way," he said, before reluctantly adding, "and one of them is finding skilled mechanics."I smirked, leaning against the wall. "You almost had me there.""I supervised," he insisted.

Molly Harper

You are the night.""I am the night," I repeated."You are the night."I cocked my head, sending him a questioning look. "I am the night?""Jane!""Why is it that when you say my name, it sounds like a curse word?

Molly Harper

My grandma Ruthie, Jettie's sister, had been married four times, so many times I started calling every old man I saw at the grocery store Grandpa.

Molly Harper

I was just turned last week. I'm a librarian."He stilled, as if I'd just told him I was the inventor of the tube top. "I watched a movie about a librarian once. Well, she was a librarian by day, a call girl by--"I stopped him with a quick lift of an eyebrow. "If you finish that sentence, we cannot be friends.

Molly Harper

What was that?" Rich combined the pain of a crooked arm with the indignity of a flicked ear. I could only hope the situation didn't escalate to the dreaded purple nurple.

Molly Harper

Some vampires wouldn't react if you shoved a rosary down their pants, though I wouldn't recommend testing the theory.

Molly Harper

She's your mother. I asked, Plus, you do look a bit like her. When you're angry, you both get these tense lines around your mouth...Look, there they are.

Molly Harper

Jane Jameson."He grinned. "Like the porn

Molly Harper

Besides, my drinking blood's not nearly as weird as that time I caught you shaving your legs.""I was curious!

Molly Harper

I grabbed my purse, which was conveniently place by the front door. Gabriel was such a considerate abductor/host. He even left the front door unpadlocked.

Molly Harper

Idiot," I said, before grinning broadly and crushing his mouth to mine. "We need to pick new pet names for each other," he muttered as I hefted myself up from the ground.

Molly Harper

Dick called, but he just left dirty voice-mail messages. Let's just say if I'm ever in the market for a massage involving canola oil and marabou feathers, I'm covered.

Molly Harper

Leaving knots untied and scattering seeds to distract them will only work on vampires with OCD.

Molly Harper

Zeb was kindergarten teacher--a good one. I always thought it was because he was the same emotional age as his students.

Molly Harper

Are you going to answer my questions, or do I have to whack you with a stick until delicious candy surprises fall out?

Molly Harper

Jane Jameson Quotes

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