Irony Quotes - Page 9

It is odd that the Bible says, ‘God created man,’ whereas it is the other way round: man has created God. It is odd that the Bible says, ‘The body is mortal, the soul is immortal,’ whereas even here the contrary is true: the body (its matter) is eternal; the soul (the form of the body) is transitory.

If heaven was hot and hell was chilly, tell me, why would you go to heaven?

Michael Bassey Johnson

Pessimism is a funny thing, isn't it? Madison thought as she looked at Judith's furrowed face. I like a bit of pessimism as much as the next man, but when I'm bombarded with it I suddenly became an eternal optimist.

But the people only talked about how ugly her face looked. No one even bothered to mention what a sweet, kindhearted girl she was. Now, don’t be amazed! That is just the nature of humans, to notice the one flaw among a person’s ten good qualities.

Janaki Sooriyarachchi

Don't worry, my little lump of rock. Everybody gets a chance to choose. Or else where would irony come from?

Catherynne M. Valente

You know something is wrong when the government declares opening someone else’s mail is a felony but your internet activity is fair game for data collecting.

E.A. Bucchianeri

It is a truth widely recognized that tyranny stems from the consent of the governed as much as democracy does.

Eric Robert Morse

I'm starting to feel like a character from one of these books

Christina Tetreault

I was tired of this silly joking about my 'speaking countenance'. I could keep a secret as well as anyone. Poirot had always persisted in the humiliating belief that I am a transparent character and that anyone can read what is passing in my mind.

Agatha Christie

Voltaire expected that within fifty years of his lifetime there would not be one Bible in the world. His house is now a distribution centre for Bibles in many languages.

Corrie ten Boom

The bible is so simple you have to have someone else help you misunderstand it..

The Bible appears to be the most revered book never read.

About two-thirds of Americans believe that the Bible "answers all or most of the basic questions of life"—and 28 percent of them admit that they rarely or never read it!

The irony of informing nearly naked people in a wilderness setting about the story of naked Adam and Eve eating the fruit of knowledge and inventing the fashion industry due to a sudden need for clothing to hide their shame is not lost on Williams.

Words were his delight; Hers, a gay gracefulnessOf dancing and moving. But when to the place Of deep loving (Starlight at midnight)At last they came, Their full communion And consummation,Their complete sphere,Was stillness for her,Silence for him.

Theodore Spencer

Irony is easier than hopeless silence but braver than flight.

These are the best things I've ever had in my mouth!

Goose neck is a delicacy. You have to at least try it. In fancy restaurants people pay up to fifty dollars a plate for this stuff.' And at our house we were force-fed it for free. Just another irony of life.

Janette Rallison

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

You know,' she begins, 'you fellas ought to be looking after each other.' Her comment makes me realise that through the lies, the greatest irony is that we are looking out for each other. It's just that in the end, we're letting her down. That's what injures us.

I myself," said Gibbon, "am slightly underdone in the personal worthlessness line. It was Papa's fault. He used no irony. The communications mix offered by the parent to the child is as you know twelve percent do this, eighty-two percent don't do that, and six percent huggles and endearments. That is standard. Now, to avoid boring himself or herself to death during this monition the parent enlivens the discourse with wit, usually irony of the cheaper sort. The irony ambigufies the message, but more importantly establishes in the child the sense of personal lack-of-worth. Because the child understands that one who is talked to in this way is not much of a something. Ten years of it goes a long way. Fifteen is better. That is where Pap fell down. He eschewed irony.

Donald Barthelme

What a refreshing mind you have, young man. There really is nothing quite like total ignorance, is there?

Irony is just honesty with the volume cranked up.

George Saunders

One of life’s ironies is that the more honest and vulnerable you are, the more others try to discredit you as a fraud and a fake. Shut them up by not caring.

In a nutshell, I am not unaware of my failings. Neither am I a stranger to irony.

Mordecai Richler

Sometimes Caesar gets killed cos Brutus is an Honest Man.

The irony of the human heart is that it’s tormented both by the presence and absence of it’s own soul’s counterpart.

Have you ever noticed how good things go to those who hate?

wars are fought so that peace can be achieved talk about irony

It's ironic how those with the most loving arms are the ones who get the most hate.

Sara Deuidicibus

In order to do the unthinkable, do not think about it.

J.R. Rim

If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; But if you really make them think, they'll hate you.

If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you really make them think, they'll hate you.

What is a saint supposed to do, if not convert wolves?

i do not give a sh*t, the toilet miss me now

Mohlalefi j motsima

She came from the most worthless of classes - the rich, with a smattering of culture.

If I wanted to consume something that looks and tastes like dirt, I’d eat dirt,” I said, “at least dirt isn’t overpriced."~Beans~

Humor is hard to catch in a second language. Especially when you're as serious a young man as Giovanni. He said to me the other night, 'When you are ironic, I am always behind you. I am slower. It is like you are the lightning and I am the thunder.

Elizabeth Gilbert

I didn't know who tobelievebutone thing I doknow: when a man islivingmany claim relationshipsthat are hardlysoand after he dies, well,then it's everybody'sparty.

Charles Bukowski

The Emperor, you see, protects... He protects mankind, through the Legions, through the Martial corps, through the war machines of the Mechanicum. He understands the dangers. The inconsistencies. He uses you, and all the instruments like you, to protect us from harm. To protect our physical bodies from murder and damage, to protect our minds from madness, to protect our souls... There are insane dangers in the cosmos, dangers that mankind is fundamentally unable to comprehend, let alone survive. So he protects us. There are truths out there that would drive us mad by one fleeting glimpse of them. So he chooses not to share them with us. That's why he made you... Remember, Garviel. The Emperor is our truth and out light. If we trust in him, he will protect.

He had been trying to measure the distance between the earth and God.

Ursula K Le Guin

There is no simple explanation for anything important any of us do, and the human tragedy, or the human irony, consists in the necessity of living with the consequences of actions performed under the pressure of compulsions so obscure we do not and cannot understand them.

Are we not all actors playing parts in another person's play?

Shannon L. Alder

From even the greatest of horrors irony is seldom absent.

It would be the irony of fate if my administration had to deal chiefly with foreign affairs.

She upset Billy simply by being his mother. She made him feel embarrased and ungrateful and weak because she had gone to so much trouble to give him life, and to keep that life going, and Billy didn't really like life at all.

Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Irony is Fate's most common figure of speech.

Trevanian

In league with being graced by greatness, prepare to be greeted, by all that is beneath you.

Justin K. McFarlane Beau

It is bound to be a failure, every book is a failure, but I do know with some clarity what kind of book I want to write.

I'd rather be partly great than entirely useless.

Neal Shusterman

I can’t help but think that if she was going to kill herself, she might as well have done it earlier. Perhaps when I was a toddler. Or better yet, an infant. It certainly would have made my life easier. I asked my uncle Hugh (who is not really my uncle, but he is married to the stepsister of my current mother’s brother’s wife and he lives quite closeand he’s a vicar) if I would be going to hell for such a thought. He said no, that frankly, it made a lot of sense to him. I do think I prefer his parish to my own.

Nobody can tell what I suffer! But it is always so. Those who do not complain are never pitied.

You can put anything into words, except your own life

To be depressed or neurotic is passive. It has happened to all of us; we are its victims, are we have no control over it.

William Glasser

Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are a subject to a good many different ailments, but I have never heard of one who has suffered from insomnia.

Joseph Wood Krutch

Often we withhold our affections, waiting first for love to be extended to us. The irony is that we are loved for loving.

Richelle E. Goodrich

How do you like your blue-eyed boy Mr Death?

The greatest irony is that people with Rolodexes are no longer LinkedIn. And if that pun doesn't make sense, don’t ask anyone in your Rolodex to explain it.

... a man doesn't like to have his ego popped, especially when he prides himself on his sagacity, and then to be proved wrong by a man who claims he doesn't know anything.

E.A. Bucchianeri

He wears his cockiness like an ironic T-shirt, but it fits him better.

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