Irony Quotes - Page 5

Moxie gave me a small smile. "Why do you always say that- which here means?""I'll probably outgrow it," I said.

And it never even occurs to them their certainty that they are different is what makes them the same.

But I made an issue of the precise wording of the vows. I wanted liberalized ones, with no outmoded Pauline nonsense exacting from the bride the promise to 'obey' the groom. Here I put my foot down, rather in the manner of a husband determined to show at the outset who was boss. 'I'll have no obedience around here!' I said, banging the table. 'Is that clear?''Is it an order?''Yes.

Peter De Vries

It's extraordinary, the amount of misunderstandings there are even between two people who discuss a thing quite often - both of them assuming different things and neither of them discovering the discrepancy.

Agatha Christie

The book didn't want to be copied?I should introduce it to the house that doesn't want any occupants.

A.W. Exley

Colorless green ideas sleep furiouslythree old owls on a chest of drawerswere screwingthe daughter of the doctor.But then the mother called them,colorless green ideas slepp furiously.

Umberto Eco

Erik wondered if they saw the irony of such a tiny complex expecting to find the cure from the very lives they minimized in comparison to the whole. If such small, little lives mattered not, how could they believe anything they did would matter?

Ellie Lieberman

You said "Hi", I to be polite will say "Bye"!

Deyth Banger

Two examples of irony:...a cheap knock-off of a Chinese Ming vase…made in China....getting murdered in a graveyard.

Clifford Cohen

Peter sank. "I'd give anything to see time.

Jodi Lynn Anderson

How can you ask me to keep a secret... when you can't keep it yourself?

Maya Berger

Then there rose up before her a vision of a parish saved, a village reformed, a county reorganised, and a triumphant election at the end, the recompense and crown of all, which should put the government of the country itself, to a certain extent, into competent hands.

Mrs. Oliphant

... Miss Marjoribanks was of the numerous class of religionists who keep up civilities with heaven, and pay all the proper attentions, and show their respect for the divine government in a manner befitting persons who know the value of their own approbation.

Mrs. Oliphant

It's ironic how your comfort zone can be tiring sometimes.

Ahmed Mostafa

Oooh, intrigue?' Sylvie said playfully. 'Want to know a secret? I am someone else. Nobody knows the real me.' Jess opened the door, sick of being toyed with, wanting to get away. Her voice was flat. 'You're a girl. It's the same for all of us.

Kirsty Eagar

You are so lost to your higher self that you would resent me for my achievements, rather than celebrate them with me, sexually?

Ayn Rand

He was notorious for cutting short extraneous verbiage from over-loquacious barristers".

Bryce Courtenay

There is a great deal in choosing colours that go well with one's complexion. People think of that of that for their dresses, but not for their rooms., which are of so much more importance. I should have liked blue, but blue gets so soon tawdry. I think, (...) that I have enough complexion at present to venture upon a pale spring green.

Mrs. Oliphant

We think, therefore we should make everyone think what we think.

Thomas Ligotti

Hard times' is a phrase the English love to use, when speaking of Africa. And it is easy to forget that Africa's 'hard times' were made harder by them.

Alice Walker

Time makes fools of us all. Our only comfort is that greater shall come after us.

Eric Temple Bell

If you really have to get shot, Belfast is one of the best places to do it. After twenty years of the Troubles, and after thousands of assassination attempts and punishment shootings, Belfast has trained many of the best gunshot-trauma surgeons in the world.

Adrian McKinty

The smell of hot popcorn drifted upward from the concourse below, lingering in the warm Californian air like an atmospheric irony, and a Jumbotron directly in front of me displayed a blandly handsome announcer seated behind a curved desk emblazoned with DARPA’s logo: a sports broadcast mise-en-scène from some speculative future, vaguely fascist, in which the machinery of national defense had become a spectacle of mass entertainment.

Mark O'Connell

I recalled with some discomfort that the man driving the vehicle had invented the sport of volcano boarding, presumably as a way of solving, in one deft move, the problems of the insufficient riskiness of both snowboarding and hanging out on the slopes of active volcanoes. Although I was not sure that I wanted to live forever, I was sure that I didn’t want to go down in a blaze of chintzy irony, plunging into a ravine strapped into the passenger seat of a thing called the Immortality Bus.

Mark O'Connell

But stronger and brighter than any other was his mate bond with Lana. She was in every beat of his heart, the very fire in his blood. How could anyone have ever doubted his feelings for her?

DB Reynolds

Do you get the irony?Who is now talking about, who ain't serious?Oh, we gonna do that and that and that and that?… Yeah, yeah You just wanna trick me one more time….

Deyth Banger

There's something inherently comical about the fact that most people want to change other people's lives, while they themselves remain stoic as they loiter in their own shortcomings.

Antonio Kowatsch

Silence gives notice to the music of the senses that would otherwise not be heard.

W Larsen Hughes

Understand yourself, accept yourself, but do not be yourself.

Luke Rhinehart

Blasphemy has always seemedto require taking things very seriously. I know no better stance to adopt from within the secular-religious, evangelical traditions of United States politics, including the politics of socialist feminism. Blasphemy protects one from the moral majority within, while still insisting on the need for community. Blasphemy is not apostasy. Irony is about contradictions that do not resolve into larger wholes, even dialectically, about the tension of holding incompatible things together because both or all are necessary and true. Irony is about humour and serious play.

Donna Haraway

I'm not a slave, man. I just gotta sign out, say where I'm going, what time I'll be back and then I gotta sign back in.

Ben H. Winters

Irony of the day: arthritis medication with a cap that old people can't get off, because of their arthritis.

Kelli Jae Baeli

Imagine the wizened quality of a life blanched of contradiction and double standard.p 44

Michael Perry

Oh, my god. My non-committal boyfriend, who I was just fucking this morning, that I want to spend the rest of my life with, is your Mr. Wonderful. He’s your ‘nice,’ mystery man. Jesus.

H. Raven Rose

I have learned that I, we, are a dollar-a-day people (which is terrible, they say, because a cow in Japan is worth $9 a day). This means that a Japanese cow would be a middle class Kenyan... a $9-a-day cow from Japan could very well head a humanitarian NGO in Kenya. Massages are very cheap in Nairobi, so the cow would be comfortable.

Binyavanga Wainaina

sometimes there is too much irony all piled up in the barn, and you have to / pitchfork another steaming pile of irony on top of it all, and you have to / pitchfork another, and another, and another / when the world is shit-streaked with irony that is when beauty will emerge / love is irony / purists sure hate farce / but pushing against things is the only possible way to live

Mark Leidner

He gave me the key, which I later discovered would open practically every door in the hotel. I thanked him, and I made a small mistake we irony collectors often make: I tried to share an irony with a stranger. It can’t be done. I told him I had been in the Arapahoe before—in Nineteen-hundred and Thirty-one. He was not interested.

Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Perhaps we can conceive of the ironist as the fetishist's apprentice, reaching out for all readers, ensnaring them in a tangle of ambiguity, uncertainty and indecision from which there is no escape. Irony, quite possibly, makes fetishists of us all.

Janet Beizer

Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.

John Barrymore

While appreciating the beauty around her, Eden considered the darkness that lay ahead.

Linda Lee Chaikin

During voir dire, the interviews for jury selection, each person is asked under oath about their experience with the criminal justice system, as defendant or victim, but usually not even the most elementary effort is made to corroborate those claims. One ADA [Associate District Attorney] told me about inheriting a murder case, after the first jury deadlocked. He checked the raps for the jurors and found that four had criminal records. None of those jurors were prosecuted. Nor was it policy to prosecute defense witnesses who were demonstrably lying--by providing false alibis, for example--because, as another ADA told me, if they win the case, they don't bother, and if they lose, "it looks like sour grapes." A cop told me about a brawl at court one day, when he saw court officers tackle a man who tried to escape from the Grand Jury. An undercover was testifying about a buy when the juror recognized him as someone he had sold to. Another cop told me about locking up a woman for buying crack, who begged for a Desk Appearance Ticket, because she had to get back to court, for jury duty--she was the forewoman on a Narcotics case, of course. The worst part about these stories is that when I told them to various ADAs, none were at all surprised; most of those I'd worked with I respected, but the institutionalized expectations were abysmal. They were too used to losing and it showed in how they played the game.

Edward Conlon

Scary discovery of the day: Most people who RT @yokoono's tweets do so without irony.

James Taranto

They had supported him ... for freedom's sake, they would have said; meaning as do all men who mouth that catchword, freedom for themselves and their own class.

Margaret Butler

If we chose to refuse irony, we risk becoming irony's dupe.

Janet Beizer

Now it turns out that a few broadsheet film critics in Britain do indeed belong to a category of people who would have resisted Hitler when he came to power. So the great shame is, clearly film critics should have been running Austria at the time, because Hitler would have represented no problem to them at all. [The Guardian's] Peter Bradshaw would have known exactly what to do, and he would not have been remotely fallible to any Nazi who threatened his life. No, he would have died in heroic acts of individual resistance. So it's a privilege to live among people who enjoy such moral certainty.

David Hare

how can it be that the modern human mind is capable of precise logical analysis, and yet simultaneously permits us to accept religious beliefs that should crumble beneath even the slightest rational scrutiny?

Dan Brown

i've heard this called st. peter's square," arlene said. "but it isn't square. it's oval.

David Morrell

Nothing incites failure more than success.

Unknown

What a cruel irony it is, that we get to choose our thoughts but not our feelings.

Justin Wetch

There is a great deal in choosing colours that go well with one's complexion. People think of that for their dresses, but not for their rooms., which are of so much more importance. I should have liked blue, but blue gets so soon tawdry. I think, (...) that I have enough complexion at present to venture upon a pale spring green.

Mrs. Oliphant

As she stepped into the steamboat at Dover which was to convey her to scenes so new, Lucilla felt more and more that she who held the reorganisation of society in Carlingford in her hands was a woman with a mission.

Mrs. Oliphant

I will never lie again.

William Faulkner

The cinema is an invention without any future.

Louis Lumière

So such is life that it writes itself, trying to right itself, but there's nothing wrong with it.

Robert Pollard

Gods can screw anything and anybody. For reference, see history.Atticus O'Sullivan

Kevin Hearne

Irony is the word I forget the meaning of immediately after I look it up, but I kind of feel like I live in a constant state of it.

Maureen Johnson

Trapped. Sinking. Can't be myself. Made into what other people expect. Is that everyone's fate? Were the great individualists the products of their friends who wanted a great individualist as a friend?

Michael Moorcock

Corporate irony not only ridicules the thing it is selling but the very act of selling it. In the process it disarms critics by making anyone who goes against the flow of commerce seem clueless.

David Denby

Irony takes nothing away from pathos.

Gustave Flaubert

The Tyr had tried. It had really tried. It must have gone over every element of human psychology, tried desperately to understand the nature of human aesthetic sense … and then failed, miserably, in every regard.

C.S. Friedman

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Irony Quotes - Page 5

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