Humor Relationships Quotes

Just two naked guys enjoying a manly hug in the middle of the apocalypse. - Cody Forester, Werewolf Apocalypse

Safety tip. When you see smoke run, never wait for fire.

You want what you can’t have. Again, is it worth it? Does it hurt your heart or does it hurt your balls?”~ grandpa RayExcerpt From: Boheme, Kade. “Trouble & the Wallflower" Kade Boehme, 2014-03-03T20:38:08+00:00. iBooks. This material may be protected by copyright.

Kade Boehme

You're not having sex with him. I know these guys, and you don't. I'm trusting you with Claudia Reeshman. You need to trust me about Dean Robillard." She wouldn't let him off that easily. "You're looking for a wife. Maybe I'm just looking for a little fun." "If you need fun," he shot back, 'I'll give you fun." She was stunned.

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Don't be fooled, Clara. No one's new and shiny. Not really.

Lisa Smartt

Love is a damagemade to the heart,violence,fate thats written,Changeable by distance,Breakable by time...!

Honey Father

Who will ever kiss this encyclopedia of a head?

Elizabeth Gilbert

Maybe I shouldn't scare off my date so quickly by shooting guns and telling stories about vomit, but, hey, the sooner he knows the real me, the better.

Vicki Lesage

Charity groped for the phone, coming up with it at last and croaking "hello" in a voice that sounded exactly like a bullfrog's mating call. Which made a kind of twisted sense -- last night she'd been hunting for a mate as well.

Elizabeth Jane Howard

Just because you're in the market for a minivan doesn't mean you can't test drive a hotrod.

Inez Kelley

Trick.” I say a little louder.“Shhh, sleep baby.” He mumbles. I laugh and smack his arm.“Wake up. I can feel your morning wood.” This gets his attention and he sits up, taking me with him. The arms wrapped around my middle graze my breasts as he shifts up and a tingle shoots straight between my legs.“God, Caroline, I’m so...” He stops, probably realizing that he doesn't have morning wood, “I don't have...” He’s actually pretty cute all sleepy. He laughs.“I know but I couldn't figure out how else to get your attention.” I shrug.

K. Larsen

A nation forgetting its own laughter is in a sad state of affairs

Sherry Marie Gallagher

I took a little walk outside for a while. I was surprised that I wasn't feeling what I thought people were supposed to feel under the circumstances. May be I was fooling myself. I wasn't delighted, but I didn't feel terribly upset, perhaps because we had known for a long time that it was going to happen.It's hard to explain. If a Martian(who, we'll imagine never dies except by accident) came to Earth and saw this peculiar race of creatures-these humans who live about seventy or eighty years, knowing that death is going to come--it would look to hi like a terrible problem of psychology to live under those circumstances, knowing that life is only temporary Well, we humans somehow figure out how to live despite this problem: we laugh, we joke, we live.The only difference for me and Arlene was, instead of fifty years, it was five years. It was only a quantitative difference--the psychological problem was just the same. The only way it would have become any different is if we had said to ourselves, "But those other people have it better, because they might live fifty years." But that's crazy. Why make yourself miserable saying things like, "Why do we have such bad luck? What has God done to us? What have we done to deserve this?"--all of which, if you understand reality and take it completely into your heart, are irrelevant and unsolvable. They are just things that nobody can know. Your situation is just an accident of life..We had a hell of good time together...

Richard Feynman

Charity knew that she had to be up early in the morning. And she knew that a weepy, silly, ridiculously old-fashioned love story was not the thing to watch with a broken heart. Nevertheless, she watched. And wept. And was still smiling when she fell asleep at three o'clock in the morning, with the remote in her hand and the telly still going.

Elizabeth Jane Howard

My husband says this longing for isolation is not a good quality, that if I wanted to be a hermit I should have moved to the West Coast and adopted a lot of cats, not gotten married and had children that demand to be fed several times a day.

Anna White

He realized with sudden clarity that the power axis in a conflict shifted once your adversary had heard you plead for divine intervention while her hands and mouth and body brought you to screaming climax on her kitchen table.

Jane Rainwater

The more she turned right the more I turned wrong.

Mark W Boyer

I knew it,” she snapped. “You’re no different from all men. You’re just another jerk pretending to be single! I didn’t wanna wrap a lie into a Christmas present anyway.

Maha Erwin

For crying out loud, absurd things can happen, none of us is spared.” He reached out and gave her a soft pat on the back. “So screw it, lovey. Enjoy every second you’ve got and stop moping around.” - Intomesee

Maha Erwin

Boys dream of strippers, men dream of their women waiting for them at home.

Kathleen Brooks

No one can be your sun, moon, or stars until you have your own world.

K.M.Docherty

Men are very sensitive, Mma Makutsi. You would not always think it to look at them, but they are. They do not like you to point out that they are wrong, even when they are. That is the way things are, Mma--it just is.

Alexander McCall Smith

The wealthiest Person on earth is one who is free from the love of Money

Andrew Darrah

Because of their DNA, most men loved a damsel in distress. Every time a man sees a pretty lass in trouble, even the boorish slob-of-a-man transforms into a chivalrous knight-in-shining-armour. This was why most women (no matter how strong, competent or resourceful) were forced to act shy, demure and helpless so that their men could feel like strong grizzly bears or ferocious mountain lions.

Mallika Nawal

For her, marriage was a sweetened version of murder.

Daniel Saldaña París

Darling, I would follow you through the blackest midnight—just not without my trousers!

Seth Adam Smith

I profess not to know how women’s hearts are wooed and won. To me they have always been matters of riddle and admiration. Some seem to have but one vulnerable point, or door of access; while others have a thousand avenues, and may be captured in a thousand different ways. It is a great triumph of skill to gain the former, but a still greater proof of generalship to maintain possession of the latter, for man must battle for his fortress at every door and window. He who wins a thousand common hearts is therefore entitled to some renown; but he who keeps undisputed sway over the heart of a coquette is indeed a hero.

Washington Irving

I'd rather have rabies than be in love.""Why?""Because at least you can get over rabies with some shots.

Shelly Laurenston

I'd rather have rabies than be in love.""Why?""Because at least you can get over rabies with some shots.

Shelly Laurenston

No more sex."I blink several times at Anna as we stand outside the car the next morning. Have we been married long enough for her to say that?

Wendy Higgins

I thought about the difference between a mama's girl and a daddy's girl. I decided that a daughter who belongs to her daddy expects gifts, while a daughter who belongs to her mama expects a lot more. Not from her mama. From herself.

Victoria Bond

When someone leaves you, apart from missing them, apart from the fact that the whole little world you've created together collapses, and that everything you see or do reminds you of them, the worst is the thought that they tried you out and, in the end, the whole sum of parts adds up to you got stamped REJECT by the one you love. How can you not be left with the personal confidence of a passed over British Rail sandwich?

Helen Fielding

I will never deny that life isn't fair. It seems as though when a woman leaves a man she is strong and independent, but when a man leaves a woman he is a pig and a jerk.

Criss Jami

Humor Relationships Quotes

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