Humor Quotes - Page 67

Uri stood staring at him, casually looking Gabe's body up and down before saying with a sly grin, "Well hello to you too, sexy. Does your wife know about this?" Uri then motioned with a dainty fingertip to Gabe's ensemble.Looking down, Gabe quickly realised the robe he had grabbed to cover himself with belonged to Rachel, and much to his dismay, was far too sheer for comfort at the moment. Slipping a well laid hand into place, Gabe huffed and looked at his friend in aggravation, secretly trying not to laugh.

Wendy Owens

The roar of the crowd began to grow. He heard them harmoniously stomping their feet in a rhythm that cried out for battle. Gabe glanced across the arena to several cages that were shielded by large cloaks. Whatever was inside was clearly becoming agitated by the noise of the crowd. The captive creatures began beating against the bars. Random secret shrieks and growls came from their general area.

Wendy Owens

Uri was turned, looking at him, shouting something, but at that point, Gabe couldn’t hear him. A moment later, Gabe felt like the car was spinning uncontrollably. The nausea overcame him and he seriously thought he might be sick. He looked down at Sophie to make sure she was still all right. His hands were holding her head gently, but they no longer seemed like his hands. There was a glowing, blue light coming from his palms. He began to hyperventilate. Everything went black.

Wendy Owens

People need hope Michael, as much as they need a leader. You and Gabe are the answer to both of those things. You’ll lead the people of earth to victory and Gabe will give them the hope they need to keep going,” Mirada said, her voice sensitive, yet unwavering.

Wendy Owens

You better hope she doesn't say a word," Gabe warned, lifting a finger to Uri's nose.Uri grabbed the finger laughing, "What are you going to do, cupcake? Seduce me to death, in all your sexy glory?""Just shut up," Gabe groaned, pushing the door shut in his friend's face.

Wendy Owens

Michael felt as if his heart might burst. With the death of the council he had felt as though he had lost everything that mattered to him, but here in his arms, he found the last piece of hope he had left in the world. “We have to go back and help Gabe.

Wendy Owens

Before Gabe could react, he watched helplessly as Rachel slipped backwards and out of sight into the mountainside, a crumbling wall now the only thing he could see.“Rachel!” Gabe shouted, rushing forward. Before Gabe could reach her Haim, being closer to where she had fallen through, leapt into the gaping hole after her. The group now only heard Haim's cries echoing in the darkness as they drifted further away.

Wendy Owens

Michael staggered to his feet and turned to face his worst nightmare. Baal stood before him, a smirk on his face. He wore his signature grey, pinstripe, three-piece suit, and casually twisted his pinky ring on his long and slender well-manicured finger. As it rotated Michael caught a glimpse of the rubies in the skull’s eye sockets. His black hair was slicked back, the sight of his false appearance made Michael sick to his stomach.

Wendy Owens

The smoke stung at the corners of Uri’s eyes as he struggled to open them. He could hear the battle sounds all around him and smell the iron from the blood drenched warfare in the air. Much to his surprise, death had not yet claimed him. He could feel Raimie’s body under his own, no warmth came from him, however, and Uri feared the worse. Over his shoulder, he heard a large blast and the earth shook under him.The trackers had obviously followed someone through. There were hundreds of designated transportation locations as part of the evacuation drill. Absolutely nobody was allowed to transport directly to a primary facility for this exact reason. If a tracker were to follow your transportation signature to the next facility, the Guardians could be nearly wiped out in one night. The secrecy of the facilities and cloaking spells were key in their safety.Uri knew if he or Raimie had any chance of surviving, he needed to get clear of the fighting and find a healer. Attempting to sit up, he braced his weight on the earth just beside Raimie’s head. He quickly reconsidered as the unbearable pain shot through his side. Running his hand down to the source, he could feel the shaft of an arrow jutting out from his side; a warm wetness covered his fingertips.In the distance, Uri could hear someone crying out in agony, not a voice he recognized, yet the pain in it seemed all too familiar. Another blast rang out from behind him as Uri slumped to the ground, groaning in pain.

Wendy Owens

The thought of abandoning his friend to save himself was never an option. He collapsed, pushing even closer to Raimie. Pressing his lips against his friend’s ear, he whispered, “As good a day to die as any.” He would defend them until his end.

Wendy Owens

Gabe realized he was standing there alone, with a goofy smile on his face. Limping inside, he closed the door behind him, her words still lingering in his mind. Gabe wanted more than anything to be able to choose happiness. He wanted a rain storm to make him smile. He desired that the simple task of cooking would make him dance. To Gabe, however, it didn’t seem as simple as just making a choice. He hoped her joy was contagious, because he was in uncharted territories.

Wendy Owens

Crossing the small wooden bridge, just past the rubble, Gabe ducked off to the left and swooped underneath into hiding. Once sure he was secure, and could not be seen by those that passed overhead, Gabe collapsed on to the dirt and grass. Turning on his side, his body convulsed, and relieved itself of any food that had been in his belly. Rachel was right. He was a liability. Anyone who tried to protect him ended up paying a high price. He didn’t know if his old friends were dead, but he was certain whatever fate had found them must have been bad.

Wendy Owens

Gabe watched, holding his breath as the figure slowly turned. The body moved in an almost unnatural way as it shifted and crawled slowly on all fours across the floor. When the candlelight at last fell on the figure, Gabe could make out the auburn hair of his beloved Sophie. Her hair was matted, greasy, and hung in her face.Gabe saw her shoulders were hollow looking and her skin was almost glowing white. Gabe caught sight of Sophie’s fingers, her knuckles were bloody, and her nails cracked and peeling. Instinctively, Gabe fell to his knees and crawled to Sophie. Without even giving it a thought, he grabbed her hands and pulled them closer to the light.

Wendy Owens

The two sat quiet for a moment; Gabe unsure what to say to comfort his friend and Uri stewing in his own frustration. “Damn it! It was a stupid plan!” Uri swung an arm around behind himself and his bag being the nearest object in reach, swung it across the room with as much force as he could muster.

Wendy Owens

S’up?” he asks. My voice rattles when I answer. “N-not much. You know, reanimated corpses chasing me on a cruise ship. Same old.

Alison Kemper

Thank you, Deke. You are very good to me.” “I know,” he smirks. “Can I get back in your bed now?

Alison Kemper

If I can face a street full of rabid zombies, I can tell a boy I like him. Right?

Alison Kemper

The cave exploded with the sound of trumpets.A heavenly choir began to sing.A surge of power ran up the sword into Henry's hand.A voice thundered through the cavern. "Whosoever Pulleth The Sword From Out The Stone, Is Rightwise Born King of All England."Henry screamed and threw the sword into the lake.

Ted Rabinowitz

Step One: Grab Mattie. Step Two: Run. It wasn't much of a plan. But what it lacked in potential it made up for in simplicity.

Ted Rabinowitz

According to Sarah, who had gone two years ago, prom was famous for being an overpriced disappointment where most people had no fun.

Cammie McGovern

I'm so sorry. I think I'm just tired." The socially accepted excuse for being mental.

Lucy Ivison

You're only as old as you feel.

Lucy Ivison

I mean if there was any justice in the world you wouldn't even have to go to school during your period. You'd just stay home for five days and eat chocolate and cry.

Andrea Portes

No offense, doll, but that’s not something I’m willing to share. I’d prefer to live a long and happy life if it’s all the same to you.”“You can’t just throw out vague allegations and then say nothing else!”“See, that’s the good thing about being a fugitive like me. I can do what the hell I like, and I’m not answerable to anyone.” Stepping away from the bars, he stands with his legs stretched out wide. His stance matches his grin.“Sure looks like that’s working out well for you,” I say, piercing him with a scornful look.

Siobhan Davis

...I suppose clichés wouldn't be clichés if they weren't based on some sort of tediously predictable truth.

Lucy Ivison

Teeth were created to be shown.

Lydhia Marie

I turned into the Greenbrier High School parking lot with a singular mission: figure out a way to keep my brothers from chasing off every guy who seemed interested in me.

Chris Cannon

Not to mention,"Magnus noted, "that Jace killed him. That would put anyone off".

Cassandra Clare

I lost my temper," I finish. "I lost my temper. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.""Well, no one means to lose their temper, my boy," the Captain smiles. "If they did, it wouldn't be lost.

Rebecca Harris

Is this your girl?" she asks, not waiting for an answer. "She's breathtaking.""You're my new favorite person," Billie giggles.

Rebecca Harris

The young nihilists," Dad called us."What are nihilists?""Nihilists believe that nothing has any meaning. They believe in nothing.""Yeah," said Earl. "I'm a nihilist."Me, too," I said."Good for you," Dad said, grinning. Then he stopped grinning and said, "Don't tell your mom.

Jesse Andrews

I suppose you'll not let me rest until I admit that I like your company?""You're getting to know me well...""Very well, I'll admit. You're slightly more than tolerable.

Jody Hedlund

He was especially excited about Aguirre, the Wrath of God. "Look at this crazy dude," he yelled, point at Klaus Kinski, who on the cover is wearing a Viking helmet and looks like a psychopath. So--with Dad's permission--we put the film in and watched it. This would turn out to be the single most important thing ever to happen in our lives.

Jesse Andrews

We loved it. We loved how slow it was. We love that it took forever. Actually, we never wanted it to end. We loved the jungle, the rafts, the ridiculous armor and helmets. . .I think most of all we loved that it didn't have a happy ending for anyone. The whole time we were sort of expecting that someone would survive because that's how stories work: Even if everything is a total disaster, someone lives to tell the tale. But not with Aguirre, the Wrath of God. Hell no. Everyone dies. That's awesome.

Jesse Andrews

So, Azalee—” When he turned to her, she stared daggers back—almost as though she had read his mind. Can Chertzes do that? he wondered in a wild moment of panic.“What?” bit Azalee when he didn’t continue.Mighty Zeus, could he go five minutes without offending a woman?

Deidre Huesmann

Besides, I kind of like my face intact like this, two eyes, one nose, one mouth, a full set of teeth, which, if I'm being honest, is one of my better features.

Jennifer Niven

You will be able to do great things when you know and truly understand that all you really have and can control is your own life. Everything else is second to that.”~ShirLee McGarry~ 06/12/2010

ShirLee McGarry

I read the first few," said Jackaby. "I've instructed my duck to just file the rest directly under P. I left it to him to decide if that was for politics or paranoia.

William Ritter

If the future of the free world depends on me, please accept my apology in advance

R.S. Gompertz

Did I mention how cute you look in my clothes?"Blushing I just look at what I'm wearing and laugh. "Chicks Dig me? And Sponge Bob boxers?""Chicks do dig me! And Sponge Bob is a great cartoon in your world.

Sara Daniell

You don't find a masked man wielding a gun interesting? Tell me...what do you find interesting then-Matt Carter

Natasha Larry

So what if I don't learn algebra?''Someday schools will be open again,' Mom said. 'Things will be normal. You need to do your work now for when that happens.''That's never going to happen,' Jon said. 'And even if schools do open up somewhere, they're not going to open up here. There aren't enough people left.' 'We don't know how many people are like us, holed up, making do until times get better.''I bet whoever they are, they aren't studying algebra,' Jon said.

Susan Beth Pfeffer

Alan: "I had terrible stage fright."Sin: "I'm not familiar with the concept of 'stage fright.'"A: "It's pretty awful. You end up having to picture the entire audience in their underwear. Phyllis was in that audience, you know."S: "Why, Alan, I had no idea your tastes ran that way."A: "Phyllis is a very nice lady. And I do not consider her so much aged as matured, like a fine wine. But I still think you owe me an archery lesson.

Sarah Rees Brennan

isaac knows how stupid i find these things, and he finds them just as stupid as i do. like lol. now, if there's anything stupider than buddy lists, it's lol. if anyone ever uses lol with me, i rip my computer right out of the wall and smash it over the nearest head. i mean, it's not like anyone's laughing out loud about the things they lol. i think it should be spelled loll, like what a lobotomized person's tongue does. loll. loll. i can't think any more. loll. loll!

David Levithan

The panther prowled around me in a loose, wide circle. Its mouth turned down, almost in a pout, and it seemed disappointed that I wasn't going to run away. Or scream, at the very least. Its tail, which was at least three feet long, twitched back and forth in what seemed to be annoyance. Or maybe anticipation. I didn't know. I'd always been more of a dog person.I cleared my throat, and the panther stopped and flicked up one of its rounded ears. Listening."Um, nice kitty?

Jennifer Estep

Some people expect things to fall into their lap. Oh, they might work a bit for it. I'll just shake this tree, and if I shake it long enough that pretty red apple will plop right into my hand. Never occurs to them that they might have to climb the damn tree, fall out a couple times, get some scrapes and bruises before they get to that apple. Because if the apple's worth wanting, it's worth risking a broken neck.

Nora Roberts

Success is like sausage, you'd be surprised what goes into it.

Tim Fargo

A man bumps me on his busy way without so much as an apology. But that is all right. I forgive you, busy man about town with the sharp elbows. Hail and farewell to you! For I, Gemma Doyle, am to have a splendid Christmas in London town. All shall be well.God rest us merry gentlemen. And gentlewomen.

Libba Bray

It seems kind of light for a dozen books. I think it's probably that unnatural number of Jason Statham DVDs you ordered."He has to have filmed a nude scene at some point in his career. I don't care how many shoot-'em-up action movies I have to watch, I will find it," I said solemnly. "Oh, yes, I will find it.

Molly Harper

I often talk about unconditional love towards others. But the truth is I have always looked for favorable conditions when it comes to self-love and happiness. Now that is what you call a true confession!

Saurabh Sharma

If you're not writing, you're wronging.

Kevin James Breaux

The key to being a great agent is treating everyone like a celebrity and treating a celebrity like everyone else.

Michael Houbrick

Let’s just say that once the party was over, the Tribe had the decency to put most of the things back into place with the possible, and otherwise notable, exception of the platypus and a moronic drinking game that later evolved into the imperial measurement system.

Sorin Suciu

I enjoy self-publishing & sending publishers rejection letters. They're like, 'Who is this guy?' And I'm like, 'the end of your industry.

Ryan Lilly

144461I know very little having to do with human beings that doesn't also have to do with connection. We want to be noticed, we want to be good enough, we want friends, and we want to be loved. We want our place to stand.

Chris Crutcher

I never understood, what a starving artist was until I became one.

Mary Sage Nguyen

The thing about being a screenwriter, scriptwriter, or scenarist, You get to have multiple personalities and not be charged!

Funny

Slartibartfast's study was a total mess, like the results of an explosion in a public library.

Douglas Adams

And I write novels!" chimed in the other cop. "Though I haven't had any of them published yet, so I better warn you, I'm in a meeeean mood!

Douglas Adams

Live by the words of intelligence endured..F@&$ IT!

William Shakespeare

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Humor Quotes - Page 67

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