Humor Quotes - Page 174

For an age we stood there like that, me holding him by the collar of his jacket and kissing him for all I was worth, him standing there, hands up like I was frisking him with no idea what to do about it.It. Was. Awesome.

Rosemary Clement-Moore

That's it...I'm completely giving up on boys and concentrating on staying alive.

Samantha Young

Puh-lease… Team leather and cocks isn’t always right.

Bink Cummings

Beth: "What are you, the Energizer Bunny?

Lucy Monroe

Advising Mrs. Harris was the least I could do," David said smoothly. "After all, she was the one who brought me and my late wife together."That was stretching it a bit, since all Charlotte had done was give Sarah lessons in how to avoid fortune hunters, thus ensuring that the recalcitrant girl went right out and married the first one who approached her.

Sabrina Jeffries

But then it was over too quickly and they pulled away. She knew they couldn't stand there and kiss like a couple on the run in a thriller.

Joss Ware

Holy fu-" he starts then catches himself."Yes,this tithe will be most pleasing to her Goodness." Me and Magnus exchange amused glances.

Mari Mancusi

-On creating a false identity for Pheobe-"A widow," Ava insisted."How did her husband die?" Greer asked."I hardly know," Ava said with a shrug as she rocked Jonathan in her arms. "How do men typically die? A fall from a horse or some such thing.""I scarcely believe scores of men are falling to their deaths from their saddles," Greer said drily.

Julia London

What happens next?" she whispered.Connor turned to her and smiled faintly. Always a question, that was Rebecca.There's more?" he said in mock wondermentRebecca dimpled.You know very well there is more."Tell me all about it," he encouraged.In Papa's book—"Tell me all about it without mentioning your papa.

Julie Anne Long

He foll0wed her as she crossed to the four-station apparatus. His attention was glued to her butt the whole way. realizing what he was doing, he snapped his gaze away and checked to make sure no one had noticed.Nope. They were all too busy staring at Jamie's butt.

Sarah Mayberry

Having realized that her affection for Sinclair went far beyond friendship, there was only one thing for her to do. She took off her hat and banged her head against the nearest lamppost.Also realizing she was drawing attention from passerby, she put her hat back on and resumed walking.

Shirley Karr

He looked at her, amazed with her sudden nerves. “Sweetheart… marrying was never on any list of mine.” He reached for her hand and held it tightly in his. “But marrying you… now that’s something different.

Lucian Bane

Did you let him know that if he can't see fit to return your blow job immediately, you will have no choice but to sue?

Meg Cabot

She felt the glide of his hair as he lowered his head to study the zipper on her skirt. Herimagination supplied other places his hair could touch, and she drew in her breath.He carefully pulled down the zipper, then pulled it back up. After several up and downforays, Kathy grew impatient:"Hello? Have I lost you to a zipper?" Darn. She must sound like every greedy womanwho'd ever lain with him.His soft chuckle reassured her. " 'Tis a long night, lass, and the waiting willna hurt ye.These metal teeth are wondrous things.

Nina Bangs

What are you doing?”“What does it look like? I’m getting down on my knees.”His head butted against her stomach. Her muscles clenched, shocked at the touch, even through the layer of cotton.“I’ve never begged a woman for anything before. Enjoy this.”She tried to think of something sufficiently sassy. “Enjoy it? I can’t even see it.”“It’s symbolic.

Alisha Rai

He had relieved whores beyond counting of frocks, stays, chemises, garters, and stockings. He had never before in his life unbuttoned a gently bred maiden's glove. He'd committed salacious acts beyond number. He'd never before felt so depraved as he did now, as the last pearl came free and he drew the soft kid down, baring her wrist, and his dark fingers grazed the delicate skin he'd exposed.

Loretta Chase

Are you telling me you're cooking me dinner?- Regan Its the quickest way, without physical contact, to get a woman into bed. The kitchen through there?

Nora Roberts

The human race is all the same when it comes to romantic relations,' said the Major. 'A startling absence of impulse control combined with complete myopia.

Helen Simonson

I deciced if I were ever to get into booze and women, my line would be, 'Excuse me, madam, but I would really love to bed and muss you. . . . Are you perchance free this evening?

Rachel Cohn

I've loved him for a decade. And I had him for one day before I made a complete and utter mess of things. Or he did. I'm still not sure about that.

Sarah MacLean

His attitude, though always bad, has changed since he helped me prep the Pandora charm for Morgan. He thinks I'm falling for her, as ridiculous as that sounds, and he might be tempted to take matters into his hands.

Kim Harrison

I know every guy here, and they’re all pretty much jerks.

Nicki Elson

Lady Ponsonby was right. The forbidden fruit isn't shaped like an apple. It's shaped like a banana.

Michelle Marcos

It's a good thing you're an aging orphan," he murmured, gently pushing the hair away from her face. "I don't have to wait around to get anyone's permission.""Permission for what, you rat bastard?" she said. "Such language, dragon. I'm afraid you're going to have to marry me.

Anne Stuart

Once she called to invite me to a concert of Liszt piano concertos. The soloist was a famous South American pianist. I cleared my schedule and went with her to the concert hall at Ueno Park. The performance was brilliant. The soloist's technique was outstanding, the music both delicate and deep, and the pianist's heated emotions were there for all to feel. Still, even with my eyes closed, the music didn't sweep me away. A thin curtain stood between myself and pianist, and no matter how much I might try, I couldn't get to the other side. When I told Shimamoto this after the concert, she agreed."But what was wrong with the performance?" she asked. "I thought it was wonderful.""Don't you remember?" I said. "The record we used to listen to, at the end of the second movement there was this tiny scratch you could hear. Putchi! Putchi! Somehow, without that scratch, I can't get into the music!"Shimamoto laughed. "I wouldn't exactly call that art appreciation.""This has nothing to do with art. Let a bald vulture eat that up, for all I care. I don't care what anybody says; I like that scratch!""Maybe you're right," she admitted. "But what's this about a bald vulture? Regular vultures I know about--they eat corpses. But bald vultures?"In the train on the way home, I explained the difference in great detail.The difference in where they are born, their call, their mating periods. "The bald vulture lives by devouring art. The regular vulture lives by devouring the corpses of unknown people. They're completely different.""You're a strange one!" She laughed. And there in the train seat, ever so slightly, she moved her shoulder to touch mine. The one and only time in the past two months our bodies touched.

Haruki Murakami

I hate to tell you, dragon, but that's an integral part of the whole usiness," he whispered. "If you're afraid to touch me then we're not going to get very far."She lifted her head to look at him. "I thought I could lie back and let you ravish me," she said with complete honesty.He shook his head, the smile hovering around his lips, his eyes intent. "This is a cooperative effort, my love. You have to do your part.

Anne Stuart

Ah, adventure! Ah, romance! Ah, courtly graces and the noble gestures! Don't you wish you knew people like that? Don't you wish we could still walk around in cloaks and boots and breeches, with leather doublets and flowing white dueling shirts and swords strapped around our waists? Of course, if we did, given the way things are today, there'd be people out there lobbying for sword control, and we'd need a National Sword Association and bumper stickers that would read "Swords don't kill people, knights kill people," and there would be a five-day waiting period and background check before you could buy a rapier. We'd have drive-by lungings and people would be afraid of children carrying broadswords to school. "Milady" would be regard as a sexist term and feminists would go absolutely berserk if any woman called a man "Milord." Ralph Nader would probably get quarter horses banned because they are too small and unsafe in a collision and someone would figure out a way to put seat belts and air bags on our saddles. That's why people join the SCA and read fantasy novels, because the real world sucks.

Simon Hawke

...Usually i’d sit back and just enjoy the view for what it was because it’s not often you come across something so ridiculously out of place, a girl like you, on the subway, it’s like spotting a unicorn at the zoo.I reasoned how to pull this off, to get you, to say hi, to ask your name, what your voice sounded like, if you had a cute smile because i like cute smiles. In ten minutes I had a thousand thoughts of you and you had no clue...

Stephan K. Garcia

You ever had a hickey? I want to give you a hickey.""Karl, we're not fourteen!""Don't bloody care. I was in love with you when I was fourteen -- your neck owes me a hickey."(Karl & Elena)

Dianna Hardy

It's the Snickers bars. Snickers equal romance.

Lisa Scottoline

... you've experienced the single scene out there - it's blood test and background checks and references and 'Please pee in this cup before we can go on a date' screenings, all clinical and stripped bare of any romance.

Katie MacAlister

I think he could handle being used. It would be good for him. He's having trouble sleeping.

Victoria Dahl

You are always looking at people like this.” And then she made a face, one he couldn’t possibly begin to describe.“If I ever look like that,” he said dryly, “precisely like that, to be more precise, I give you leave to shoot me.

Julia Quinn

After 40 years of marriage, isn’t it amazing when you can look at your partner sound asleep next to you and still believe they have potential.

Kaylin McFarren

Or you just not ask her.""You might as well slit my throat.

Dee Henderson

He pulled away the glove, and at the first glimpse of her fragile, white hand, all thoughts of negotiation fled. "I don't see how matters could become worse," he muttered. "I am already besotted with a needle-tongued, conceited, provoking ape leader of a lady."Her head jerked up. "Besotted? You're nothing like it. Vengeful is more like it. Spiteful.

Loretta Chase

Max - "...Do me a favor, if the constable comes knocking, tell him I was here all morning, will you?"Dodsley - "Killed someone again, did we?"Max- "Never before luncheon, Dodsley. It's still early yet.

Gaelen Foley

Jenny: But surely Lord Blakely could not abandon his estates for so long.Gareth: No. Lord Blakely could not. Not unless he had someone he could trust to run his estates in his absence. And Lord Blakely...Well, Lord Blakely did not trust anyone.Jenny: Lord Blakely is talking about himself in the third person, past tense. Its disturbing.

Courtney Milan

And she swung the old oar at him with all her strength.It hit with a great thwack, splintering in two, and he went over the side, into the dark, cold waters of the lake, sinking like a stone.It took her two seconds. And then she let out a scream for help, tossing the broken oar away from her, and jumped into the water after him.It was very cold, numbingly so, and as it closed over her head she grabbed forhim, wrapping her arms around his body, ready to sink to the bottom with him.Instead he kicked, pushing them up so that they broke the surface, his armclamped around hers as she struggled. "Jesus, woman!" he snapped. "When did we have to become Romeo and Juliet?

Anne Stuart

I don't know whether to toss you through that window or shake your hand and say 'Well done'" Henry said in a tired voice.

Julia Quinn

Quote is taken from Chapter 1:A decade ago when Isabel’s husband Max had died, they’d moved in together and merged their possessions. Neither sister brought any fussy teapots, canaries, sachets, or doilies, but lots of other stuff had to either stay or go. Looking at the lime green gave Alma the willies. Her suggestion to slipcover it in a more subdued color had garnered Isabel’s frosty stare, and Alma had dropped the matter.

Ed Lynskey

He wasn't aware of it but when he smiled he looked like an amiable bear. When he didn't smile he didn't look amiable

Emma Goldrick

Terence: As my old da used to tell me, 'never trust a rich man'.David: Good thing I'm only moderately rich.Terence: Which is why I only moderately distrust you.

Sabrina Jeffries

Do you really think that I don’t have anything better to do than to spend my time thinking about you? Digging up a little of the goods on Luc Martineau?”Fine lines appeared at the corners of his eyes and he laughed. “Sweetheart, there is nothing little about Luc’s goods.

Rachel Gibson

It is no wonder lesbians love women.

Gilbert Sorrentino

Ben was in his truck, window down, idling at the curb, dark lenses hiding his eyes from her, looking effortlessly big and badass.The way she wished she felt.

Jill Shalvis

They stared at each other for several long minutes hoping the other would give in. Finally she broke. “Fine, will you go in with me then?”t“Will it make you feel better?”t“Yes.”t“Sure thing. The worse thing that could happen is people will think you are carrying my baby. I’m sure it’s perfectly normal for a female teacher to be with her male student at a pharmacy in the middle of the day buying a pregnancy test. What could go wrong?” he asked wryly.

R.L. Mathewson

I chose the path less traveled but only because I was lost. Carry a map. - Phoebe Traeger

Jill Shalvis

What were you chanting when you gave me your blood?”“More of my vampire magic. I cast a healing spell to aid the powers of my blood.”She sniffled, her nose stuffy. “It was better than Vicodin.”“Vicodin?”“A painkiller from my world.”“A killer of pain. Did you love him?” The words were growled.A burst of unexpected humor gave her strength. “No. In fact, he was hard to shake. He, uh, stalked me, that kind of thing. I had to pretend he didn’texist.”Nicolai kissed her temple and relaxed against her.

Gena Showalter

The Challenge is to pry Bertie loose from Dain and his circle of oafish dengenerates,” Jessica said severely. “It would be far more profitable to pry Dain loose for yourself,” said her grandmother. “He is very wealthy, his lineage is excellent, he is young, strong, and healthy, and you feel a powerful attraction.” “He isn’t husband material.” “What I have described is perfect husband material.” said her grandmother. “I don’t want a husband.” “Jessica, no woman does who can regard men objectively. And you have always been magnificently objective.

Loretta Chase

If ever there was something she needed to stick around and fight for, Luc was that something.

Rachel Gibson

Jenny: You didn't leave?Gareth: Of course I left. I was hungry, and I couldn't find anything to eat. I bought a loaf and some cheese. And oranges. Wait. You mean you thought I had left. Without saying a word to you. Would I do that?(Jenny nodded)Gareth: Damn it. You know better than most I'm no good at these things but even I am not that bad. Really, Jenny. Why would you believe such a thing of me?Jenny: I don't know, Maybe because you once told me all you wanted from me was a good shag?Gareth: I said that? (he looked surprised, then contemplative. Then apparently, he remembered and winced) God. I said that? Why did you even touch me?

Courtney Milan

Not that I knew who you were until last month. But now that I've got you, I'm not letting you go.""You're not?"Blake stared at her in irritated confusion. What was her game? "Do you think I'm an idiot?" he spat out."No," she said. "I've just escaped from a den of idiots, so I'm well familiar with the breed, and you're something else entirely. I am, however, hoping you're not a terribly good shot.

Julia Quinn

Oh yeah? How about M'Lin the cursed?

L.J. Smith

There ain't a man in the world cares about a woman's past until he's thinking of her in his future.

Dru Pagliassotti

Often you don’t know whether you’re the hero of a romantic comedy or the villain on a Lifetime special until the restraining order arrives.

Tim Kreider

Recent studies have shown that approximately 40% of authors are manic depressive. The rest of us just drink.

Melodie Campbell

Are you threatening me?” He looked completely outraged at such a thing.“You bet your incredibly attractive and probably hard enough to bounce a quarter off ass I am!” she snapped back.An indescribable look flitted across his face. “You are the most irreverent woman I’ve ever met.”“And you’re the handsomest man I’ve ever seen in my life, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to lick you!” she yelled.

Katie MacAlister

Michael nodded tersely, eyeing a table across the room. It was empty. So empty. So joyfully, blessedly empty.He could picture himself a very happy man at that table."Not feeling very conversational this evening, are we?" Colin asked, breaking into his (admittedly tame) fantasies.

Julia Quinn

Sable hair bisected his pecs and arrowed down to the straight and unequivocal statement of his returned interest. Forcing my gaze to his face, I said, "I really don't think we have time for that.""You know that, and I know that, but HE doesn't believe it.""Believe it," I told HIM.J.X.'s mouth tugged into one of those heart-stopping smiles. "Maybe you should whisper in his ear.

Josh Lanyon

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Humor Quotes - Page 174

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