Humor Quotes - Page 160

When I call on God, I am not trying to get his attention and I am not trying to get Him to notice me. In all this my journey with Him two questions usually comes to my mind, they are; am I paying attention to him or am I trying to get his attention?

Patience Johnson

Sometimes we are asking God to reveal his presence, provisions and purpose in our lives and we pray like we are trying to get God's attention but I think prayer has less with getting God's attention but He getting mine.

Patience Johnson

Evil is real but God is greater.

Patience Johnson

God always have a perfect way for every imperfect situations.

Patience Johnson

Could it be that while you are waiting for God to come down and help you, God is also waiting for you to get up? Maybe your breakthrough never happen when your situation changes but when you make a determination within yourself without excuses or blaming anybody and not waiting for anyone and stop praying that your situation change but let God change you. Let your prayer be God change me, God work in me, spring out the rivers of living water within me and I bet you, this is where the breakthrough begins.☺just a thought and something to ponder on....

Patience Johnson

The size of a plane does not change the weather but it will get you above it. The size of your faith may not change your situation but it will get you over it.

Patience Johnson

For those of you who are begging God for a breakthrough, this is not the way of getting something from your heavenly father, you don't have to beg him for what He already bought for you, you don't have to beg Him for what He died to give you. You don't have to convince people, you don't have to convince anybody if God likes to do a work in your life, it is done.

Patience Johnson

The more desperate the situation, the more opportunity for miracle. If you need something from God, you need to be at the right place, the right position and at the right time

Patience Johnson

Do you want to feel better or do you want to get well are two different things. Some people go to church to feel better but never get well. Some come to church for comfort and leave unchanged. And that is what sin represents. ..it is a place to be comfortable thereby feeling normal in your own disfunction.

Patience Johnson

Stop praying to God to change your marriage or your finances because you might end up seeing that you are the one that need the change not your marriage or finances.

Patience Johnson

What you see and what you listen to will determine how high you will go.

Patience Johnson

Love, inspirational, life, humor, philosophy, truth, wisdom, happiness, god, hope, romance, death, inspirational-quotes, quotes, faith, poetry,writing, inspiration, knowledge Religion, education, success, relationships, funny, science, life-lessons, books, motivational, spirituality, dreams, fear, freedom, intelligence, friendship, humour, war, motivation, time, women, beauty, reading, art, politics, Christianity, soul, leadership, pain, change, history, people, marriage, nature, peace, music, heart, self-help, spiritual

Patience Johnson

It is weird to me on how people will come to church frequently and have absolutely no desire or intention to change anything about their life based on what they experienced in the church.

Patience Johnson

Have you ever make out time to ask God if there is anything or anybody you need to drop in your life? Are you still holding on to offences? When is the right time to drop it?I am sure once you make this attempt He will show you.I declare that God is going to set some captives free.

Patience Johnson

Offence is an event, offended is a decision. Offence and offended we have to live through it but to stay offended? To live in that place denies the very nature of the salvation that you claimed to have received.

Patience Johnson

I didn't get to God by effort or title, I got there by invitation. God can lift you quickly if you let Him. He really cares.

Patience Johnson

Being married or being in a close relationship is not based on how quickly you can get offended but on how you are ready to drop the offences, get over it and move ahead.

Patience Johnson

Before Marriage opposite attracts, after marriage opposite attacks☺. Just telling you the truth.

Patience Johnson

God takes two and make them one but satan takes one and make it two.

Patience Johnson

Freedom comes from focus, focus brings freedom. Focus on fear you will always be in prison, focus on faith and is nothing the world can keep you knocked down.

Patience Johnson

Dear Lord please show me what really matters so that I may be able to determine what is distraction and God's direction in my life.

Patience Johnson

If God can help us locate demands, He can also help us locate the leaks.

Patience Johnson

Long before something happens in our life, it happened in our heart.

Patience Johnson

If I should be available to everyone, I will eventually end up with nothing to give to anyone. So the greatest gift you can receive from me is my time. Count yourself lucky if I give you a minute of my hour.

Patience Johnson

What starts in the heart doesn't stay in the heart, it either turn into action or words.

Patience Johnson

The enemies agenda is destruction, his strategy is division and his tactics is on little differences. Mind you he is not going to be happy until he sees you divided.

Patience Johnson

Do you know where your breakthrough begins? Your breakthrough begins where your excuses ends.

Patience Johnson

The open door is never behind you; the open door is always before you. Quit looking at your past life and mistakes. Look unto Jesus who is the Author and Perfector of our faith. Your open door is not in the opportunity you missed ten years ago, it is not in some stuffs behind you that you can't get back. You can't gain your access by giving attention to your past life.Your past days are behind you and what God has for you is in front of you. Just pay attention.

Patience Johnson

If negative emotions have gain access into your heart, it is because you have given it attention. If memories of pain and hurt dominates your heart, it is because you gave them attention. How can a memory hurt you when it has only happened? It can only hurt you when you give it attention.

Patience Johnson

The forgiveness of God flows through me and because I am forgiven, I can forgive.

Patience Johnson

If you ask me I think the greatest breakthrough each and everyone of us need is not on finance, marriage, work, relationship, own house, car but self. The first breakthrough should start from being selfish.

Patience Johnson

Is it not funny, in the presence of an unlimited God, we will still be stucked? Sometimes faith overwrites the fact, that some people have not come to realise. Stop giving excuses and telling God what is happening around you. You have the tools.

Patience Johnson

There is no where that life problem can take you that God's presence cannot reach you. There is nothing that people can do to you that can keep God from getting to you.

Patience Johnson

You have a standing invitation to experience God's presence but you have to pay attention because attention creates access.

Patience Johnson

The reason some people do not experience God in their life is the same reason that we do not notice that something is going wrong with our marriage untill we arrive in a divorce court or that something is wrong with our child until we got a phone call from the police station . Simply put....Because we do not pay attention

Patience Johnson

The language of academic discourse, which is crucial to academic progress beyond grade 3 is learned by all children through literacy: there are no native speakers of academic language!

L. W. Fillmore

Derisively, Ronan said, 'No. The ancient Greeks didn't have a word for Blue.'Everyone at the table looked at him.'What the hell, Ronan?' said Adam.'It's hard to imagine," Gansey mused, 'how this evidently successful classical education never seems to make it into your school papers.''They never ask the right questions,' Ronan replied.

Maggie Stiefvater

Now, I have nothing against the public school system as it is presently organized, once you allow the humor of its basic assumption about how it is possible to teach things to children....

Shirley Jackson

Jack Woodson is currently living and working in Dallas, TX. He has forty children, and all of them have different mothers.

John Pearson

Hey there, Hallie, welcome to the next place we need a Deer Crossing sign.' I didn't know that deers could

Laura Pedersen

Some men never recover from education.

Oliver St. John Gogarty

Who said to kill does not require gentleness?

Nawal El-Saadawi

Now, Woolf calls her fictional bastion of male privilege Oxbridge, so I'll call mine Yarvard. Even though she cannot attend Yarvard because she is a woman, Judith cheerfully applies for admission at, let's call it, Smithcliff, a prestigious women's college. She is denied admission on the grounds thatthe dorms and classrooms can'taccommodate wheelchairs, that her speech pattern would interfere with her elocution lessons, and that her presence would upset the other students. There is also the suggestion that she is not good marriage material for the men at the elite college to which Smithcliff is a bride-supplying "sister school." The letter inquires as to why she hasn't been institutionalized.When she goes to the administration building to protest the decision, she can't get up the flight of marble steps on the Greek Revival building. This edifice was designed to evoke a connection to the Classical world, which practiced infanticide of disabled newborns.

Rosemarie Garland-Thomson

Hey, Geekoid!" yelled Duncan Dougal, "Why do you read so much? Don't you know how to watch TV?

Bruce Coville

Mr. Klamp laid down the law. No tardiness, no talking above 40 decibels, no untied shoelaces, no visible undergarments, no eating, no chewing gum, no chewing tobacco, no chewing betel nuts, no chewing coca leaves, no chewing out students (unless Mr. Klamp was doing the chewing out), no chewing out teachers (unless ditto), no unnecessary displays of temper (unless ditto), no unnecessary displays of affection (no exceptions), no pets over one ounce or under one ton, and no singing, except in Bulgarian. I began to think Mr Klamp wouldn't be so bad...

Polly Shulman

Education: learning to find your purpose. Upon finding your purpose: what did I learn?

Bauvard

Night clubs are where Americans learn the laws of motion.

Bauvard

I used my history degree about twice a year whether I needed to or not.

Patricia Briggs

A lecture has been well described as the process whereby the notes of the teacher become the notes of the student without passing through the mind of either.

Mortimer J. Adler

All that I've learned, I've forgotten. The little that I still know, I've guessed.

Nicolas Chamfort

I read Shakespeare and the Bible, and I can shoot dice. That's what I call a liberal education.

Tallulah Bankhead

Well, Diotallevi and I are planning a reform in higher education. A School of Comparative Irrelevance, where useless or impossibe courses are given. The school's aim is to turn out scholars capable of endlessly increasing the number of unnecessary subjects.

Umberto Eco

[Myrnin to Claire about their costumes of Pierrot and Harlequin, respectively]"Don't they teach you anything in your sch

Rachel Caine

Most jokes come from good intentions—and most mistakes, too.

Ben Tolosa

There is a funny story I always tell my students...when I came for the first time to the US. I didn’t speak English (Only Spanish) & I saw on every door the word “exit” which in Spanish means Success = Exito. And then I said :”No wonder Americans are winners ,every door they take leads to success” ~smile :)

Pablo

Have nuts and be nuts.

Criss Jami

As an Odd-Fish, it is not my job to be right,' said Sir Oort. 'It is my job to be wrong in new and exciting ways.

James Kennedy

No human ever became interesting by not failing. The more you fail and recover and improve, the better you are as a person. Ever meet someone who’s ALWAYS had EVERYTHING work out for them with ZERO struggle? They usually have the depth of a puddle. Or they don’t exist.

Chris Hardwick

If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.

David Brent

I never fail. It's just that the people around me succeed more than I.

Carroll Bryant

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Humor Quotes - Page 160

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