Humor Quotes - Page 122

Like a lot of stupid people, it took a great deal to get an idea into the king's head, but once there, there was no shifting it.

Richard Killeen

Angels are good not simply because they see bad as bad, but also because they see bad as corny.

Criss Jami

These Hoes Just Gon Fuck Who Ever Poppin , You Better Be Careful, When you fuck em' Raw!

Genereux Philip

There is this common notion that people are shallow and ignorant until they go out and see the world. I, on the other hand, went out and in comparison realized I was in pretty good standing.

Criss Jami

BLACK IS SO FUCKIN' BEAUTIFUL

Genereux Philip

We didn't do anything illegal, All we ever did was be black.. #BlackLivesMatter

Genereux Philip

Fake is the new real,You gotta keep a lot a shit to yourself.

Genereux Philip

If an Artist falls in love with you, you will live forever.

Genereux Philip

If I was meant to be controlled, I would have come with a remote.

Genereux Philip

If ur laptop doesnt smell like fire then ur losing.

Genereux Philip

Don't fuckin' sleep on yourself

Genereux Philip

Bitch, if I ain't a G, I'm an OG

Genereux Philip

I'm the G when you spell OG

Genereux Philip

Everything is possible in America, except the production of intelligence.

Mie Hansson

But little else could deter Craig Binky, for he believed that everything about him was destined to be triumphal. Harry Penn was certain that in his nearly one hundred years he had never encountered a soul more intensely marinated in self-satisfaction. Craig Binky's pomposity was often relieved, for others, by what Harry Penn generously termed "Mr. Binky's somewhat inexact intelligence.

Mark Helprin

The hardest part about walking away from someone is the part where you realize that, no matter how slowly you go, they will never run after you.

Genereux Philip

Character that is fruit-producing can be summed up in the mastery of these 5 qualities: morals, but a sense of humor; love, but respect for criticism; intelligence without pretense; humility without self-loathing; and a mind open, but with solid convictions.

Criss Jami

Well there's these things called books.... They are like TV for smart people.

Robert Redford

Ian was the kind of smart that makes your straight A student look like she’d drown in a wet paper bag. Ian was the kind of smart that scares people.

Matt K. Turner

Note from Alien cookbook: “The more intelligent the human is, the better it tastes.

Clifford Cohen

Humor is complete intelligence.

Dick Cavette

pg. 58. As a kid, I always assumed the know-it-alls on Jeopardy! were obviously the smartest people in America. If you were smart, that's how you showed it: by knowing all your state flowers and kings of Saxony. But what if Rob's right and that's a different, much shallower kind of intelligence? Is my mountain of flash cards all for naught?

Ken Jennings

I'm living in a world of goldfish.

Mycroft Holmes

The general intellectual level of South Florida is somewhere just above "functionally retarded".

Tucker Max

Do go on,' he said. 'There's nothing I enjoy more than listening to a highly trained intelligence leapfrogging common sense and coming to the wrong conclusions. It gives me renewed faith in parliamentary democracy.

Tom Sharpe

Intelligence is the capacity to know what we are doing and instinct is just instinct. The results are about the same.

Will Cuppy

One will abide, and will confess that another is nobler than he, that another is richer, more handsome, and even that he is more learned, but that another is richer in reason scarcely any will confess: Rare is he who will concede genius.

Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz

The powers of a man's mind are directly proportioned to the quantity of coffee he drinks.

James Mackintosh

I visualized myself pulling on my mental thinking cap, jamming it down around my ears as I had taught myself to do. It was a tall, conical wizard's model, covered with chemical equations and formulae: a cornucopia of ideas.

Alan Bradley

He's one fry short of a Happy Meal.

Rush Limbaugh

We all make mistakes, but intelligence enables us to do it on purpose.

Will Cuppy

He walked straight out of college into the waiting arms of the Navy. They gave him an intelligence test. The first question on the math part had to do with boats on a river: Port Smith is 100 miles upstream of Port Jones. The river flows at 5 miles per hour. The boat goes through water at 10 miles per hour. How long does it take to go from Port Smith to Port Jones? How long to come back?Lawrence immediately saw that it was a trick question. You would have to be some kind of idiot to make the facile assumption that the current would add or subtract 5 miles per hour to or from the speed of the boat. Clearly, 5 miles per hour was nothing more than the average speed. The current would be faster in the middle of the river and slower at the banks. More complicated variations could be expected at bends in the river. Basically it was a question of hydrodynamics, which could be tackled using certain well-known systems of differential equations. Lawrence dove into the problem, rapidly (or so he thought) covering both sides of ten sheets of paper with calculations. Along the way, he realized that one of his assumptions, in combination with the simplified Navier Stokes equations, had led him into an exploration of a particularly interesting family of partial differential equations. Before he knew it, he had proved a new theorem. If that didn't prove his intelligence, what would?Then the time bell rang and the papers were collected. Lawrence managed to hang onto his scratch paper. He took it back to his dorm, typed it up, and mailed it to one of the more approachable math professors at Princeton, who promptly arranged for it to be published in a Parisian mathematics journal.Lawrence received two free, freshly printed copies of the journal a few months later, in San Diego, California, during mail call on board a large ship called the U.S.S. Nevada. The ship had a band, and the Navy had given Lawrence the job of playing the glockenspiel in it, because their testing procedures had proven that he was not intelligent enough to do anything else.

Neal Stephenson

We Live and we Learn but we don't always Laugh.

Andrew Carson

Mirror mirror on the wall, show the real me or naught at all.

Gautama Buddha

Be aware of the type of humor you use in your daily life. Just because people are laughing doesn’t mean it is creating positive vibes.

Alaric Hutchinson

So what’s the point of it all?”“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.

Andy Weir

Resentments make even the best of us feel superior.

Anne Lamott

I used to think that if I could talk to the spirit world, I'd get some answers. Ha bloody ha. I wish the dead would just come out and say what they mean instead of being so passive-aggressive about the whole thing.

Eden Robinson

I refuse to put God into a little box I can handle, for that would insult us both.

L.M. Fields

I do not think that there can ever be enough books about anything; and I say that knowing that some of them are going to be about Pilates. The more knowledge, the better seems like the a solid rule of thumb, even though I have watched enough science fiction films to accept that humanity's unchecked pursuit of learning will end with robots taking over the world.

Sarah Vowell

I just prefer my fiction with more teeth.

Jessica Halleck

I think I'm going through a bit of ADD. I'm reading 3 books simultaneously and it's something that I don't recommend. It's like watching TV with two others who keep changing the channels...

S.J. Romero

I was behind, but now I'm below. Hopefully, they'll have books wherever I go...

Carmen DeSousa

Of all the queer sources of romance, ours lay in the discovery that each was an addict of Boswell's Life of Johnson. H.E.G. had a first edition of the Journey to the Hebrides, which I coveted mightily. Why not acquire the book honorably, marry the man, and have it around the house?

Beatrice Fairfax

I always find that after reading books written by Jane Austen that I speak much more properly, at least for a while.

Becky Watson

Tyrena did not laugh again but her smile slashed upward in a twist of green lips. “Martin, Martin, Martin,” she said, “the population of literate people has been declining steadily since Gutenberg’s day. By the twentieth century, less than two percent of the people in the so-called industrialized democracies read even one book a year. And that was before the smart machines, dataspheres, and user-friendly environments.

Dan Simmons

The ending of a book is, in my experience, both the best and worst part to read. For the ending will often determine whether you love or hate the book.Both emotions lead to disappointment. If the ending was good, and the book was worth your time, then you are left annoyed and depressed because there is no more book to read. However, if the ending was bad, then it's too late to stop reading. You're left annoyed and depressed because you wasted so much time on a book with a bad ending.Therefore, reading is obviously worthless, and you should go spend your time on other, more valuable pursuits.

Brandon Sanderson

I know, Ezra, that I tend to be a bit impulsive at times, but it all seems so reasonable at the time I do these things, and so unreasonable when everyone looks back at what happened and what I did

L.A. Meyer

With a book he was regardless of time...

Jane Austen

If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it

Elmore Leonard

I’ve lowered my character with a great deal of unwholesome reading material.

Lisa Kleypas

Novels and gardens," she says. "I like to move from plot to plot.

Bill Richardson

I believe that if a seven-year old kid has heard of Naked Lunch and is daring enough to want to read it, he’s old enough to read it.

John Waters

People don't read anymore. And, when they do, they don't read books like this one, but instead read books that depress them, because those books are seen as important. Somehow, the Librarians have successfully managed to convince most people in the Hushlands that they shouldn't read anything that isn't boring.It comes down to Biblioden the Scrivener's great vision for the world — a vision in which people never do anything abnormal, never dream, and never experience anything strange. His minions teach people to stop reading fun books, and instead focus on fantasy novels. That's what I call them, because these books keep people trapped. Keep them inside the nice little fantasy that they consider to be the 'real' world. A fantasy that tells them they don't need to try something new.After all, trying new things can be difficult.

Brandon Sanderson

they should let some people into the library by prescription only

Chuck Palahniuk

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.

Steve Wright

Reading every day keeps the brain dead sickness away.

Kristy Pellegrin

The dull people decided years and years ago, as everyone knows, that novel-writing was the lowest species of literary exertion, and that novel reading was a dangerous luxury and an utter waste of time.

Wilkie Collins

How can you read and talk at the same time?” I asked.“Well, I usually can’t, but neither the book nor the conversation is particularly intellectually challenging.

John Green

How important are the visual arts in our society? I feel strongly that the visual arts are of vast and incalculable importance. Of course I could be prejudiced. I am a visual art.

Kermit the Frog

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Humor Quotes - Page 122

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