Humor Quote Quotes

I enjoy self-publishing & sending publishers rejection letters. They're like, 'Who is this guy?' And I'm like, 'the end of your industry.

I'm friends with a guy who is friends with a former Playboy model. So I guess you could say I'm 1 degree away from 212 degrees.

If men could be bought like clothes at an outlet, only then would women always get what they bargained for.

Matshona Dhliwayo

Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you.

Matshona Dhliwayo

An inch to a man’s heart is a mile to his wallet.

Matshona Dhliwayo

The world’s most lethal venom is not found on the tongues of serpents, but on the tongues of a disgruntled wife.

Matshona Dhliwayo

A professional headshot in front of a bookshelf says you're an intellectual. A professional headshot peeking though a bookshelf says you're probably under a restraining order.