Humor Quotations Quotes

Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too.

Matshona Dhliwayo

My mother-in-law belongs in Hell, but the devil is afraid she’ll end up taking over.

Matshona Dhliwayo

She complains that I'm lazy, but I just like to save my energy for dinner.

Matshona Dhliwayo

A mother’s eyes are like God; impossible to get away from, they see everything.

Matshona Dhliwayo

Ask your wife for forgiveness, even when you’re right.

Matshona Dhliwayo

The easiest way to be the prettiest girl at a party is to rig the guest list.

Matshona Dhliwayo

If God had a wife, He would be in trouble too if He dodged His chores.

Matshona Dhliwayo

Boys are raw materials that women manufacture into products called men.

Matshona Dhliwayo

An angry wife can be more frightening than an army of disgruntled soldiers.

Matshona Dhliwayo

If you blame gravity for falling in love, even God has the right to laugh at you.

Matshona Dhliwayo

Diamonds are a girl's best friend until love introduces her to her soulmate.

Matshona Dhliwayo

Men like to borrow kisses because they know they will have to pay them back.

Matshona Dhliwayo

A kiss is the only thing you can throw at someone without being held criminally responsible.

Matshona Dhliwayo

Women are the best thieves you will ever meet; they steal your heart and your last name, but never get to spend the night in jail.

Matshona Dhliwayo

The only time I hold my wife's hand tightly is when my wallet is in her other hand.

Matshona Dhliwayo

Be calm on your wedding day; she won’t kill you in front of a hundred people, no matter what you've done.

Matshona Dhliwayo

Love is a hook; the moment a man swallows it, a woman knows she has him forever.

Matshona Dhliwayo

The easiest way to remember your future wife’s birthday is to marry her on Super Bowl Sunday.

Matshona Dhliwayo

If men could be bought like clothes at an outlet, only then would women always get what they bargained for.

Matshona Dhliwayo

Falling in love with someone is intentional, even if it was their looks that tripped you.

Matshona Dhliwayo

There is nothing wrong with being a puppet if love is the one pulling the strings.

Matshona Dhliwayo

Love came, it saw, and it conquered me.

Matshona Dhliwayo

Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you.

Matshona Dhliwayo

Your wife is smarter than you; know this, and you will live happily ever after.

Matshona Dhliwayo

An inch to a man’s heart is a mile to his wallet.

Matshona Dhliwayo

Get high on love, not drugs.

Matshona Dhliwayo

The world’s most lethal venom is not found on the tongues of serpents, but on the tongues of a disgruntled wife.

Matshona Dhliwayo