Healthy Conversation Quotes

By your practice of active listening, everyone involved benefits because you . . .•tare more engaged and engaging;•tdemonstrate that you are interested in others and what they have to say;•tmake others feel important, respected, understood, and appreciated; •timprove your memory and retention;•taffirm to others that you are an authentic, caring, and compassionate person;make a great first and last impression

Susan C.Young

If the skill of participatory listening came effortlessly and easy for everyone, there would not be so many misunderstandings, communication breakdowns, irritations, and frustrations.

Susan C.Young

Active listening is key to all healthy and effective communication, however, it doesn't necessarily come easily.

Susan C.Young

Through the years, I have heard that the average person speaks at about 150-160 words per minute, but can listen at a rate of about 1,000 words per minute. What is going on during all that extra mind time? •tOur minds are racing ahead and preparing for the next thing we are going to say.•tWe are preoccupied with other thoughts, priorities, and distractions.•tOur subconscious filters are thumbing through our database of memories, judgments, experiences, perspectives, and opinions to frame how we are going to interpret what we think someone is saying.

Susan C.Young

While active listening is crucial for optimal communication, we are faced with a dilemma which can perplex even the sincerest and engaged of individuals.

Susan C.Young

You can have the perfect message, but it may fall on deaf ears when the listener is not prepared or open to listening.These listening "planes" were first introduced by the American composer Aaron Copland (1900-1990) as they pertain to music . . . 1.tThe Sensual Plane: You’re aware of the music, but not engaged enough to have an opinion or judge it.2.tThe Expressive Plane: You become more engaged by paying attention, finding meaning beyond the music, and noticing how it makes you feel.3.tThe Musical Plane: You listen to the music with complete presence, noticing the musical elements of melody, harmony, pitch, tempo, rhythm, and form.

Susan C.Young

When you become an actively engaged listener, you will develop the mindful awareness that active listening involves multiple layers and distinct levels.

Susan C.Young

To make matters even more complicated, research has shown that we remember only 25-50 percent of what we hear. This inclination not only compromises our connection with another person, but we can fail to retain vital information. All this evidence demonstrates that it is imperative that we intentionally pay closer attention and strive to become an in-depth listener.

Susan C.Young

Conversation starters. Icebreakers. Openers. However you choose to label them, that moment when the first words come out of your mouth can make or break the outcome of your entire conversation. Been there, done that, right?

Susan C.Young

Your first words will not only shape your first impression, they can create amazing connections, lead you to your dream job, or help you discover a new best friend—or accomplish exactly the opposite.

Susan C.Young

Your first words will outlive your conversations and impact how you are remembered, liked, or regarded. Wouldn’t you enjoy opening conversations with ease and mutual recognition? The challenging part is that it can be . . . awkward!

Susan C.Young

Meeting someone for the first time has significance, but for some people, the awkwardness can be so great that they avoid a conversation altogether. The person who may be shy, introverted, or afraid of sounding stupid may just choose to remain silent rather than take the risk of engaging in embarrassing dialogue.

Susan C.Young

The space between meeting a stranger and making a new friend can be a short distance or a gaping chasm. By understanding how to open a conversation well, you will be better able to bridge the gaps and build rapport more successfully.

Susan C.Young

You can certainly take the easy road and use the predictable and boring defaults like:•tHow are you doing?•tHow about this weather?•tWhat do you do for a living?•tHi. My name is _________. What’s yours?•tBlah, blah, blah, blah . . .Break out of the defaults you have been using for years. Shake it up. Make it fun. Make it memorable. Dive in with more engagement and interaction. Taking the initiative to be more creative will help you build a bridge to close the gap.

Susan C.Young

How do you minimize the awkwardness in that moment? What are some of the conversations starters you've used to open, encourage, and support enjoyable and beneficial conversations?

Susan C.Young

10 Conversation Bridge Builders1.tSimply say hello with a smile.2.tAsk them what they love about their work.3.tAsk natural questions out of genuine curiosity. 4.tGet a person talking about what’s important to them.5.tCompliment something positive which you’ve noticed.6.tEngage them with questions which are easy to answer. 7.tIntroduce them to someone whom you think they’ll enjoy meeting.8.tAsk them if they have any trips or vacations planned.9.tLook for something you may have in common so that the conversation begins with shared interests.10.tThink of questions that begin with how, what, when, why and where.

Susan C.Young

Add a fresh twist of creativity to make a stellar impression which people won’t soon forget. Granted, your venue will determine how far you can stretch and how creative you can be. Making small tweaks to your conversation starters can make a memorable impact!

Susan C.Young

14 Awesome Conversation Starters1.tWhat do you do for fun? Hobbies, recreation . . . 2.tWhat are your super powers? Gifts, talents, strengths.3.tGood morning! It’s great to see you! 4.tWhat is your story? Tell me about yourself.5.tWhat brought you to __________?6.tDo you have anything special happening in your life (or your business)?7.tWhat’s the best thing that’s happened this week?8.tAre you living your life purpose or still searching for it?9.tWhat gives you passion and makes you happy to be alive?10.tDo you have any pets?11.tHow do you know the host?12.tWhen you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? 13.tIf you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?14.tWhat's next on your bucket list?

Susan C.Young

Speaking on StageSpeakers and presenters have only a few short seconds before their audience members begin forming opinions. True professionals know that beginning with impact determines audience engagement, the energy in the room, positive feedback, the quality of the experience, and whether or not their performance will be a success. A few of the popular methods which you can use to break the ice from the stage are:•tUsing music.•tUsing quotes.•tTelling a joke.•tCiting statistics.•tShowing a video.•tAsking questions.•tStating a problem.•tSharing acronyms.•tSharing a personal story.•tLaying down a challenge.•tUsing analogies and comparisons.•tTaking surveys; raise your hand if . . . Once you refine, define, and discover great conversation starters, you will enjoy renewed confidence for communicating well with new people.

Susan C.Young

Listening is one thing; however, ACTIVE listening is quite another. The first is a passive act which does not require great involvement, whereas, the latter is a consciously aware and deliberately focused effort to actively participate in the conversation.

Susan C.Young

Think of the communication that takes place in your own life on a continuous basis—at home, at work, with friends, and beyond. When you actively listen to people, you enhance communication.

Susan C.Young

Listening actively confirms for people that you are positively receiving and thoroughly understanding the message they are conveying.

Susan C.Young

Listening is one of the finest ways to demonstrate our love for another human being. How many marriages could be saved, friendships healed, careers made, and opportunities enjoyed if people would simply stop what they are doing and listen deeply to what another person has to say. If practiced by everyone, this principle could be a world-changer!

Susan C.Young

The process of attentive listening makes the other person feel important, valued, and heard. For Nick, listening was, and still is, love. I've never forgotten that precious moment—and the lesson!

Susan C.Young

Think about the people in your life with whom you have the most engaging dialogue—the ones who will listen to you and consider your opinions regardless of the topic. They'll stop whatever they are doing to give you their full attention. They become completely present and hear you.

Susan C.Young

Now let’s look at the flip side. When a diligent and caring person receives your complaint, they have the power to turn a challenge into a triumph. Through active listening, they demonstrate that your satisfaction is their top priority. They not only seek to solve your problem, but they are dedicated to re-earning your trust, your respect, and keeping your business.

Susan C.Young

If you have ever experienced this type of unprofessional treatment, I doubt you would even consider giving them business in the future. Interrupting, ignoring, patronizing, or antagonizing a customer is like pouring gas on a fire and creates a more explosive situation than the original complaint. Still, it continues to happen every day, costing companies millions in lost revenue.

Susan C.Young

Have you ever had a legitimate complaint as a customer which made you angry, upset, or frustrated? How was it “handled?" If you were dealing with an inept, uncaring, or untrained employee, they may have made matters even worse by being rude, defensive, or apathetic. Simple acknowledgment and validation of your complaint is sometimes all that is needed. Without it, you're left frustrated or upset.

Susan C.Young

Active listening is not only a matter of making yourself available to hear someone talk, but it is showing the sender, physically, that you are receiving and understanding their message on all levels.

Susan C.Young

Active listening is the ultimate "Golden Rule" for sensational customer service. Just as the important people in your life will feel more valued and appreciated when you actively listen, so will your customers.

Susan C.Young

Active listening is one of the best services a company can provide.

Susan C.Young

ASK YOURSELF: How can you utilize active listening to provide sensational customer service? How will this help resolve complaints from unhappy customers?•tGive them your full attention and listen without interruption or defensiveness.•tThank them for bringing the issue to your attention.•tTake their concerns seriously and share their sense of urgency to resolve the problem quickly.•tAsk questions and focus on what they are really saying. •tListen to their words, tone of voice, body language, and most importantly, how they feel. •tBeware of making assumptions or rushing to conclusions before you hear their concern fully.•tExplain, guide, educate, assist, and do what’s necessary to help them reach the resolution.•tTreat them with respect and empathy.When you do an amazing job of resolving an unhappy customer’s problem, you may end up impressing them more than if the problem had never occurred. You may have just earned their loyalty . . . forever!

Susan C.Young

This method enabled me to expand my territory and create a strong network of loyal customers for referrals and repeat business. Make active listening a deliberate part of your business plan and success strategy. You will not only grow your business, but also make wonderful friends along the way.

Susan C.Young

My success with customers on the telephone wasn’t by using pushy sales methods, but by engaging people in meaningful conversations which could lead to friendships on the phone before I ever met them. I would ask questions, listen to their stories, respond to their needs, develop rapport, and earn their business. When we would finally meet in person, it felt less like an introduction and more like a reunion. It was not only good business, we had fun in the process!

Susan C.Young

For sixteen years, I had a spectacular real estate career in Tallahassee, Florida. I loved receiving telephone inquiries and making cold calls. I knew that if I could meet people on the phone, I could usually turn them into buyers.

Susan C.Young

14 Ways to Become an Incredible Listener1.tBe present and provide your undivided attention.2.tSeek first to understand, then to be understood.3.tListen attentively and respond appropriately.4.tMinimize or eliminate distractions.5.tFocus your attention and energy with singleness of purpose on what the other person is saying.6.tQuiet your mind and suspend your thoughts to make room in your head to hear what is said—in the moment!7.tAsk questions and demonstrate empathy.8.tUse your body language and nonverbal cues constructively and pay attention to theirs.9.tFollow the rhythm of their speech; hear their tone.10.tRepeat and summarize what you have heard them say to confirm understanding.11.tBe open-minded and non-defensive.12.tRespond rather than react. 13.tBe respectful, calm, and positive.14.tTry to resolve conflicts, not win them.

Susan C.Young

UN-Impressives of the Poor Listener•tThinking about what you should have done, could have done, or need to do. •tAllowing your emotional reactions to take over.•tInterrupting the person talking.•tReplying before you hear all the facts.•tJumping to conclusions and making assumptions.•tBeing preoccupied with what you're going to say next. •tGetting defensive or being over-eager. •tOne-upmanship—feeling the urge to compete and add something bigger, better, or more significant than what the speaker has to share.•tImposing an unsolicited opinion.•tIgnoring and changing the subject altogether.

Susan C.Young

Being PresentYears ago, I attended a conference where the keynote speaker encouraged everyone to BE HERE NOW! It grabbed people's attention and reminded us that living, loving, listening, and laughing all occur in the present moment.

Susan C.Young

Active listening requires being fully present and engaged in the moment.

Susan C.Young

When you are mindfully focused, the person with whom you are communicating feels that you are making them a priority—that you value their time and their perspective. It is in these moments that we can go to deeper levels of discovery, exploration, and connection. It is one of the most valuable gifts and finest compliments you can give to another.

Susan C.Young

To Become an Attentive Listener . . . •tObserve a person’s physical presence to see how their body language aligns with their message. •tRecognize what is being said on the surface.•tEngage your intuition to hear the meaning, purpose, and motivation behind their message. •tBe aware of your own internal responses and how you are feeling.•tPut yourself in their shoes to better understand their perspective.

Susan C.Young

Become keenly aware of these three layers to discover whether you're listening with interest and intent for excellent communication and understanding—or are you unintentionally sabotaging potentially phenomenal conversations. Knowledge of the listening planes will raise your awareness. And as you apply these, enjoy the surprising difference.

Susan C.Young

Becoming an empathetic listener helps you to better understand how another person feels and why they communicate as they do.

Susan C.Young

Your heightened awareness of their perceptions, experiences, emotions, and personality styles can reveal why they feel the way they do so that you can choose your responses wisely and compassionately.

Susan C.Young

My friend John is an urgent care physician who has several patients who come to see him for various ailments on a regular basis. In addition to being brilliant and taking wonderful care of his patients, he has a unique ability to empathetically listen to his patient’s needs. One of his patients is a repeat visitor, even when she's not exhibiting symptoms. He takes the time to listen to how she's feeling and responds with kindness, empathy, and caring. He has come to realize that her visits are filling her deep need to feel validated, cared for, and understood in ways which she does not receive at home. His empathetic listening delivers incredible customer service for patient care and makes him a better health care provider. Wouldn’t it be incredible if this was the manner for not only doctors, but all professionals?

Susan C.Young

When my son Nick was five years old, he was sitting at the kitchen bar while I prepared dinner. In typical busy mother fashion, I was multitasking—cooking, cleaning, running the laundry, answering the phone, and attempting to listen to what he had to say.

Susan C.Young

Healthy Conversation Quotes

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