George Carlin Quotes

Words are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid. Then we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word for that thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same words that hurt can heal. It’s a matter of how you pick them.

Don't give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.

[On school uniforms] Don't these schools do enough damage making all these kids think alike, now they have to make them look alike too? It's not a new idea, either. I first saw it in old newsreels from the 1930s, but it was hard to understand because the narration was in German.

[On school uniforms] Don't these schools do enough damage making all these kids think alike, now they have to make them look alike too? It's not a new idea, either. I first saw it in old newsreels from the 1930s, but it was hard to understand because the narration was in German.

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.

He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly.

There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.