Funny Romance Quotes

Heaven’s Bakery help them all.

He was the most handsome nightmare she had ever met.

If my mom sees you here, she’ll ---“t“Paper the walls with my innards while the innocents watch?

Is he nice?” one whispered over her gum paste roses for this weekend’s wedding cakes.t“Um, obviously,” Kimmie said.t“You’re why he’s always coming around? I know he’s hot stuff in Chicago, but he always seems so stiff when he comes here,” another added from the sink.t“Honey, you want them stiff,” a third said…

Right on time, sugar.” Josh draped his arm around her shoulders and steered her through the lobby. “Traffic okay?”t“Yeah, except when that alien spaceship landed on I-90 and then all those crickets jumped out to perform Beethoven’s Fifth on kazoos. Otherwise, clear sailing.

Are those the Edible Undies cupcakes?” one of the women in the kitchen asked.t“They’re the Nipple Lickers,” Kimmie answered. “Without the nipples.”t“I heard you perfected the Sex on a Peach cupcakes,” another feminine voice said.t“Can you squeeze me in for a double order of Spank Me Strawberries the weekend before Knot Fest?

Josh squeezed her arm. “I’ll behave,” he murmured. “For now.”tShe’s going to pickle your cucumbers.”t“He has more than one?” Natalie whispered.t“That’s between me and Kimmie,” Josh replied.

Speaking of cupcakes, Will wants two dozen off your special menu to take on the road after the wedding.”tt“The, erm, peach kind?”t“The peach kind,” Lindsey said.t“I like the peach kind,” Josh said.tMikey had named them Sex on a Peach. And they were Kimmie’s second biggest seller, after the Hairy Dicks, which were coconut cake balls strategically placed with Dahlia’s chocolate-covered, ice cream-filled bananas.tAnd Josh’s frown had disappeared, and now he was grinning as if he knew it.tAll of it.

A fake ring. A fake engagement. Fake love. Everything was fake. Shiny and put together on the outside, empty on the inside.

Her eyes slid closed, her secret places pulsed in anticipation, and his lips settled onto the skin beneath her ear.tThat was magic.tShe held perfectly still.tHe pressed a kiss to her neck. Then another, lower. A third, even lower. tShe squirmed.tHe dropped his hands. “Sorry. I---“ t“Don’t stop,” Kimmie whispered.

In the third cabinet under the counter, she hit the good stuff. “Oh! You have a KitchenAid.”t“If you’re planning on caressing my mixer, you should know that might make my testicles explode,” he said from behind her.tHer cheeks went hot enough to glow. “That would be awkward.

Your mother can’t hear you here.” t“Distance is no match for my mother’s eavesdropping and mind-reading skills.”t“I had steel anti-mind-reading plates installed this week. Specially designed to be Marilyn-proof. Also sounds an alarm if she gets within two hundred yards of the building, and I sent the guards downstairs to ninja training. You’re safe.

She looks me dead in the face and says, “The safe word is going to be ‘immigration,’ because you know I’ll stop it.

You’re gorgeous. You’re sexy. You’re … asking me to cut that dress off you? I’m praying for strength.

This many pretty girls in the room, all watching you boys like you’re a wedding-reception one-night stand waiting to happen—

She giggled. Giggled. Her cheeks pinked, and goddamn, if this plane didn’t get to the gate and un-board them, he was going to pull the emergency hatch.

God, woman.” He closed his fist, not bothering to count off the dozens of other things she shouldn’t do. “You give me heartburn.”“No. Those are orgasms I give you, baby.

She looks me dead in the face and says, “The safe word is going to be ‘immigration,’ because you know I’ll stop it.

You’re gorgeous. You’re sexy. You’re … asking me to cut that dress off you? I’m praying for strength.

This many pretty girls in the room, all watching you boys like you’re a wedding-reception one-night stand waiting to happen—

She giggled. Giggled. Her cheeks pinked, and goddamn, if this plane didn’t get to the gate and un-board them, he was going to pull the emergency hatch.

God, woman.” He closed his fist, not bothering to count off the dozens of other things she shouldn’t do. “You give me heartburn.”“No. Those are orgasms I give you, baby.

Her mouth set. "I've already lost one man I loved tonight. I will not lose the other." She glared at him. "And curse you, you stone head, for making me say it first.

Patrick W. Carr