Funny Quotes - Page 11

There’s always time for arguin’ when you’re a Fuentes.

What are you boys doing?” she asks, as if we’re still little kids messing around.“Arguin’,” Carlos says matter-of-factly.

Simone Elkeles

Carlos, are we in complete understanding with each other?”“Yeah,” I say. “As long as it’s not in your house and you don’t know about it, you’re okay with us messin’ around.”“I know you’re joking with me. You are joking with me, aren’t you?”“Maybe.

Simone Elkeles

Ben walks in the room and asks, “What were you guys doing?” Nikki says “Nothing” at the same time I say, “Your sister and I were just makin’ out.

Simone Elkeles

Sylvia grabs my sleeve. “He’s a looker.”“I know. The problem is, he knows it, too.

Simone Elkeles

A text pops up on the screen. It’s from Luis. I can’t help but grin when I read his perfectly thought-out me

Simone Elkeles

We conquer the Independence Day aliens by having a Macintosh laptop computer upload a software virus to the mothership (which happens to be one-fifth the mass of the Moon), thus disarming its protective force field. I don’t know about you, but back in 1996 I had trouble just uploading files to other computers within my own department, especially when the operating systems were different. There is only one solution: the entire defense system for the alien mothership must have been powered by the same release of Apple Computer’s system software as the laptop computer that delivered the virus.

Neil deGrasse Tyson

You're ruining that book!" He pointed to the page I'd torn out. "That's a perfectly good book!" Holding his gaze, I reached down and ripped another page out. "I'm making roses." "Well, it's my book." "Sorry." I tore out another.

Kate Avery Ellison

The Rangers were founded over one hundred and fifty years ago, in King Herbert's reign. Do you know anything about him?" Halt looked sideways at the boy sitting beside him, tossing the question out quickly to see his response. Will hesitated. He vaugely remembered the name from history lessons in the Ward, but he couldn't remember any details. Still, he decided he'd try to bluff his way through it..."Oh ... yes," he said, "King Herbert. We learned about him.""Really?" said the Ranger expansively. "Perhaps you could tell me a little about him?" He leaned back and crossed his legs, getting himself comfortable..."He was ..." he hesitated, pretending to gather his thoughts. "The king." That much he was sure of. Halt merely smiled and made a rolling gesture with his hand that meant go on. "He was the king ... a hundred and fifty years ago," Will said, trying to sound certain of his facts. The Ranger smiled at him, gesturing for him to continue yet again. "Ummm ... well, I seem to recall that he was the one who founded the Ranger Corps," he said hopefully, and Halt raised his eyebrows in mock surprise."Really? You recall that, do you?

John Flanagan

By(e) pen, I've tried my hand at poetry; only to see how boring it is to me. That is, unless I get a chance to destroy each and every piece while doing it as I please.

Criss Jami

Writing is like knitting. Stitch after stitch, word by word, and before you know it you have a book ... or a jumper!

Luggs

Maybe I can stalk you again sometime.” “Absolutely.

Katie Klein

Noah held my hand and my bag as he escorted me to the third floor - the Women's Pavilion. The elevator bell rang and the doors opened. "Jesus, Echo, circulation in my hand would be a good thing," said Noah. "Sorry." I tried to let go, but Noah kept his fingers linked with mine.

Katie McGarry

Abel was brushing the snow off his parka while Micha was dancing around him, still balancing the plate of cookies, singing, 'We're staying, we're staying, we're staying overnight! We're drying! We're drying! We're drying on the line!

Antonia Michaelis

Cowboy!" she hollered.Every man on the street turned to stare at her."--pg.117

Lori Wilde

I don’t understand you, Pigeon. I thought I knew women, but you’re so fucking confusing I don’t know which way is up.”“I don’t understand you, either. You’re supposed to be Eastern’s ladies’ man. I’m not getting the full freshmen experience they promised in the brochure,” I teased.

Jamie McGuire

You are not showing her my baby pictures!” He sounded horrified, which made me laugh. “Come on, Evan,” I teased with a laughing smile, “you were adorable.

Rebecca Donovan

Every time you strip my sword, I owe you a kiss. How's that sound?" I bit my lip to keep from giggling. "That sounds really dirty." Patch waggled his brows. "Look whose mind just rolled into the gutter.

Becca Fitzpatrick

Ready?"Despite the grim mood, I smiled and cracked my knuckles. "Ready to wrestle with my gorgeous boyfriend? Oh, I'd say I'm ready for that."Amusement softened his eyes. "I'll try to control where I put my hands, but in the heat of things, who knows what could happen?" I added. Patch grinned. "Sounds promising.

Becca Fitzpatrick

I have a free couple of hours," I told him, walking toward my car, which was parked on the next block. "There's a very private, very secluded barn in Lookout Hill Park behind the carousel. I could be there in fifteen minutes." I heard the smile in his voice. "You want me bad.

Becca Fitzpatrick

Patch leaned back against the booth and arched his eyebrows at me. The gesture said it all: Pay up."You got lucky," I

Becca Fitzpatrick

I nearly had a cakegasm at the table. My eyes rolled back in my head, and I moaned. "Sweet Christ." I opened my eyes to find Hunter watching me with the strangest expression on his face."What? It's really good; you should try some," I said, pushing the plate at him. It was a testament of how embarrassed I was about the cakegasm that I was even sharing at all."I swear, if there weren't a table between us, I would be kissing you right now. And none too gently."I put my form down and swallowed so I wouldn't choke. "You didn't seem to mind about the recliner," I said. "True. But there wan't an audience, and that's a very ugly recliner. This is a very nice table. Also there is glass and sharp things I wouldn't want hurting you.""Good point. Please, have some.""If you're going to make that noise and that face again, I don't know if I can let you have any more.""I'll be good. I swear.""You're not good. That's the problem.""You're right. I'm not," I said, giving him my own smirk. "I do try, though.""Cruel. That's the word to describe you right now.""Just have some cake.

Chelsea M. Cameron

You're not just doing that to impress her, are you?""Everything I do is to impress her. It's my mission in life," he said with a completely serious face, while he squeezed my knee under the table. Mom burst out laughing. "I like him," she said."Me too. I think I'll keep him," I said, taking his hand and twisting my fingers with his. "Good," he said, giving my hand a squeeze.

Chelsea M. Cameron

The sun weeps because it can no longer caress your skin or warm your lips." He sifted his fingers through my hair. "I do not envy the sun, Eva. But I truly hate the moon, because its light touches you in all the ways I cannot.

Michele Bardsley

I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be buried in thyeyes—and moreover, I will go with thee to thy uncle’s.

William Shakespeare

It was easier when all we wanted to do was eat them and take their stuff,” he grumbled.And it had been easier when he hadn’t cared if he made any of them cry.

Anne Bishop

Jonquil went by with a full plate of food, and Petunia reached out and tried to snag a small cream puff from it. Jonquil lifted it over Petunia's head before she could, and clucked her tongue. "These are for Lily," she said."Oh really?" Petunia gave her a look."And possibly some are for that Analousian duke Jacques invited," Jonquil said with a sparkle in her eye. "But none are for you." Then she flipped one to Oliver. "You can have one, my lord earl," she said, and twirled away."These are excellent," Oliver said, eating half of it in one bite. He fed Petunia the other half so she wouldn't get cream on her knitting. Oliver was just leaning in to steal a kiss - "I hope this means you're planning on marrying her, boy," barked King Gregor.Oliver leaped to his feet. "Sire! Yes! I mean ... I ... sire!""I didn't pardon you and restore your earldom so that you could loll around my gardens flirting with my daughters," King Gregor said. Then he bent down and gave Petunia a kiss on the cheek. "I like him," he whispered loudly in her ear."Me too," she whispered back, blushing.

Jessica Day George

When I introduced you to Mary Ann, I wanted to call you my girlfriend, Elli,” he looked up at her to see her eyes were wide, “I’ve never had a girlfriend, so I’m not sure if I’ll do the boyfriend/girlfriend thing right, but the thought of you being with someone else, or me with someone else, actually hurts my gut, so I guess what I’m trying to say is,” he took a deep breath, this was huge, and he thought he sounded stupid but with the way her eyes were glazing over, maybe he was doing this right. “I was wondering if you wanted to be my girlfriend.” She smiled at him lovingly, cupping his face in her hands.“Are you sure? I’m kinda crazy.” He laughed, kissing her palm.“I’m sure.”“Then, yes, Shea, I would love to be your girlfriend.

Toni Aleo

There's something I gotta tell you," he said in a confidential tone as he leaned toward her. His face was close to hers, too close. He was making her uncomfortable again, as he no doubt intended. That notion stiffened her spine. "What?" she all but snapped. "I had a major case of the hots for you when I was in high school. I still do.

Karen Robards

Pop culture. Nobody does bullshit better than us. Right? China took over manufacturing. And the Middle East has us on fossil fuels. That's just geography and politics. We're a nation of whacko immigrants. Scavengers and con men. We crossed the ocean on faith, stole some land and stone-cold made up a whole country out of nothing but balls and bullshit. Superhero comics got invented by crazy genius Jews who showed up and revamped the refugee experience into a Man of Steel sent from Krypton with a secret identity.

Damon Suede

...leaning down for a quick peck on Jeff's lips, and then he starts squirming and rearranging and manhandling until somehow they end up with Dan in the middle, Jeff stretched out on his left side, Evan on his right. Dan isn't really sure how that happened, and he's not at all confident that it's a good idea.

Kate Sherwood

Honestly, he could be adorable, and at the moment she had the feeling he wasn't even trying.

Jen Turano

He sent Eliza a small smile before turning to Lawrence. "What say you and I return to the hotel for a bit? I need to check on my daughter, and you need some time away from my sister." Not giving Lawrence an opportunity to reply, Grayson took him by the arm and hurried him out of the room.It was lovely to have a big brother again.

Jen Turano

When have I ever given him the impression that I was okay with him just stopping by whenever he wanted to use my body as an organic garbage disposal?

Nash Summers

Hawke continued to walk beside his lieutenant— a man who, as a result of his incredible feats during the battle in San Francisco, now had a fan club. Complete with “I (heart) Judd” and “Judd Is My Boyfriend” memorabilia. In the normal course of events, civilians wouldn’t have gotten anywhere near the former Arrow, but it had been impossible to evacuate the entire city prior to the Pure Psy attack.

Nalini Singh

You'll be back! If you're not, then I'll come and find you. Now, do as I say and go have some fun. I want those eyes to have light in them next time I see you." He turned me around, smacked my arse and sent me on my way.

Lesley Jones

A breath?" she asked. She didn't want to kiss just any wooden man. He looked nice enough, but he might not be like his looks. A kiss seemed very forward. He might remember it, and make assumptions.

Garth Nix

Congratulations to your mom and dad for birth of a sweet child!Sorry that I couldn't wish them when you were born.

Hasil Paudyal

I must be alive," Gawain said hoarsely. "Dead doesn't hurt this much.

Gerald Morris

There is no spoon.

Jim Butcher

It was like my uterus was tapping out a happy dance on the rest of my organs. God, I was dying the longest, most tortuous, and arousing death in the history of the world.

Cora Carmack

If you're signing up all the pretty girls in Alden, I want to join too," Max told Christy."We aren't taking men," she explained.He cocked his eyebrow. "What? We aren't sensitive enough for your kind of literature?"Christy turned to Annie and both broke into laughter. Annie leaned closer to Max and whispered, "We are talking cliterature here."His roguish smile was breathtaking. "Oh clits and chicks, I can handle that," he answered with a wink, his eyes glittering with laughter.

Elle Aycart

Oh, god…” I whimper. “I haven’t done anything yet, baby,” Colton growls. “I know,” I pant. “I was just saying your name.

Jasinda Wilder

What is it about Paris that I just can’t keep my hands off of you?” I ask him in between kisses.“It has nothing to do with Paris and everything to do with my raw sexuality, baby. I’m fucking irresistible,” he growls just before he shoves his tongue down my th

Ella Dominguez

Oh God, I’ve unleashed a monster, haven’t I?”“Nope. Just a red-blooded man, darlin’.

Leah Braemel

Just then Jagger walks in, his hair all ruffled and his body hard and firm. We all stop talking and stare as he runs his hands through his hair in an attempt to straighten it up.“Take a picture ladies, it lasts longer.” he mutters

Bec Botefuhr

I think he fucked me stupid"- McKenzie Matthews- Being Beckett's

P.S. Berryman

Ethan’s jaw dropped. Again he had underestimated her. Abruptly, he fought down a smile. “I don’t know whether to kiss you or arrest you.” She smiled up at him and again Ethan thought her lips were entirely too close to his. “You should kiss me,” she said, stunning him even more. “I guarantee it will be a lot more pleasant than arresting me...for both of us.

Kathryn Loch

Erm…I don’t know maybe for kissing me and tasting so damn delicious, maybe for holding my hand in public, maybe for looking far too hot in that sexy, snug tee when you should just be looking like Jo’s little brother. The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I chose the much more sophisticated reaction of scowling, hard. I would have kicked him again, but I was convinced he’d moved his legs out of the way. Coward.” ~ Ella, A Perfect Moment

Becca Lee

It's hard to believe someone who walks around commanding so much attention with his acute cockiness, hard muscles, and tattoos would ever let someone like me bring him to his knees-and make no mistake, I bring him to his knees. I bring him to his knees, hard.

Skyla Madi

Wyatt should’ve looked ridiculous sitting on the floor, leaning into the crate makingkissykiss noises at the cat, but he didn’t. He looked … mouthwatering. “Hey, sweet thing,” he said in a low cajoling voice. “Come on out. I’ll gonna love you up, I promise. You know you want some of that.”“Oh, please,” Emily said on a laugh to cover up the fact that her bones melted at thesound of him. “That’s never going to work—“But hell if the cat didn’t shift ever so slightly closer to Wyatt and sniff at him.Wyatt flashed both Sweetie and Emily a smile. “Aw, that’s it,” he crooned to thesuspicious, wary cat. “Come on, baby girl, all the way. I’ll be good to you, I promise.”Emily laughed again, even as she felt her nipples tighten. She crossed her arms over herchest. “Honestly, Wyatt, no selfrespecting female – cat or woman – is going to—

Jill Shalvis

Here.” He spread his legs wider and patted the floor between them. “You’ll be warmer, and I promise I won’t grope you or anything.”Yes, because getting groped by a handsome, charming man hours after getting dumped by a workaholic iceberg was such a repulsive notion.

Meg Maguire

In third grade I thought I loved her - by sixth grade, I was sure of it

Emma Chase

We broke up in eighth grade when Tara-Mae Forrester offered to let me touch her boobs. And I did.

Emma Chase

Whatcha do to Ricky Ricardo? Found him talking real fast in Spanish." "Nothing." She looked at Tony. "He's just moody, and the moodier he gets, the less you can understand him.

Sidney Halston

I’ve often been criticised, but never critically wounded

Johnny Rich

Parvati positively beamed. Harry could tell that she was feeling guilty for having laughed at Hermione in Transfiguration. He looked around and saw that Hermione was beaming back, if possible even more brightly. Girls were very strange sometimes.

J.K. Rowling

No one cares how long you kept yourself virgin and how loyal you are, everyone is looking for a hole to play with.

M.F. Moonzajer

Girls like good-looking guys, and I am not very good-looking. In fact, I sort of look like a pudding

Jesse Andrews

I feel pretty sure I know why the dinosaurs went extinct. They were waiting for Sam to pick out a cell phone case.

P. Anastasia

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Funny Quotes - Page 11

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