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If I only could explain How much I miss that precious moment when I was free from the shackles of chronic pain.
Jenni Johanna Toivonen
Ache my bones, flame my muscles, tingle my nerves, but you will never taint my beautiful mind & I will overcome this condition with the belief that I already have. - CRPS AWARENESS -
Nikki Rowe
My name is CRPS, or so they say But I actually go by; a few different names. I was once called causalgia, nearly 150 years ago And then I had a new name It was RSD, apparently so. I went by that name because the burn lived inside of me.Now I am called CRPS, because I have so much to say I struggle to be free. I don't have one symptom and this is where I change, I attack the home of where I live; with shooting/burning pains. Depression fills the mind of the body I belong, it starts to speak harsh to self, negativity growing strong.Then I start to annoy them; with the issues with sensitivity, You'd think the pain enough; but no, it wants to make you aware of its trembling disability. I silently make my move; but the screams are loud and clear, Because I enter your physical reality and you can't disappear. I confuse your thoughts; I contain apart of your memory, I cover your perspective, the fog makes it sometimes unbearable to see. I play with your temperature levels, I make you nervous all the time - I take away your independance and take away your pride.I stay with you by the day & I remind you by the night, I am an awful journey and you will struggle with this fight. Then there's a side to me; not many understand, I have the ability to heal and you can be my friend. Help yourself find the strength to fight me with all you have, because eventually I'll get tired of making you grow mad. It will take some time; remember I mainly live inside your brain,Curing me is hard work but I promise you, You can beat me if you feed love to my pain. Find the strength to carry on and feed the fears with light; hold on to the seat because, like I said, it's going to be a fight. But I hope to meet you, when your healthy and healed, & you will silenty say to me - I did this, I am cured is this real? That day could possibly come; closer than I want- After all I am a disease and im fighting for my spot. I won't deny from my medical angle, I am close to losing the " incurable " battle.
Nikki Rowe
Maybe if we love ourselves healthy we will all heal?
Nikki Rowe
I find myself enjoying being alone a lot of the time, people come and people go and you have to find a way to be ok with both.
Nikki Rowe
My ability is greater than my disability.
Nikki Rowe
The real heroes are those who rebuild their lives using adversity as a stepping stone to greatness in the midst of the chaos life has thrown at them.
Nikki Rowe
Change your focus, give power to the positive and starve the negative. We reduce our inner wisdom to think with logic that's been instilled in us whilst expecting miraculous results. Retrain the core issue and the pathway will build itself.
Nikki Rowe
For a long time I spent my weary days in a fog of what might be and what has been and I guess you could say im still learning how to accept what is.
Nikki Rowe
I create beautiful art, so I can look back on the life my body fell short of in such a way that it brings me peace.
Nikki Rowe
I owe it all to words and art, the peace that came with a flicker of a pen silenced the suffering; eased the pain and life that was once filled with burden became sane again. It Became meaningful. Art does matter, it made me, when the world changed me.
Nikki Rowe
I became a mother before becoming sick, but i never expected sickness to take away my independent mothering, so i plant trees to sooth my soul from the aching pains of losing the maternal ability to mother another child. My first born will be my only treasure, the one who knew who i was before the mess entered our lives and also the one who adapted with me to a reality we weren't certain of oh and lots of plants and plants and plants.
Nikki Rowe
Dismantle your wounds so you stop living your life by them.
Nikki Rowe
The length of our lives are far shorter then we realise and half of the time when we become aware of such truth, we have lived most of it as someone else.
Nikki Rowe
It's still ok to dream with a broken heart.
Nikki Rowe
I don't believe in the word " incurable " I believe to find a cure we need to deconstruct the cause.
Nikki Rowe
Your attitude will either make or break you, we cannot change fate and the tragedies that enter our lives but we can choose how we want them to change us.
Nikki Rowe
The girl was a gypsy before an illness took control of her legs, now she watches in awe the world pass by whilst stillness teaches her about inner strength.
Nikki Rowe
She was always fighting a battle but her smile would never tell you so.
Nikki Rowe
I have this one little life to live with, it's not the plan I had in mind but I can accept its the calling of my soul. The irony in gaining freedom through the heartbreak of stillness.
Nikki Rowe
what once cause catastrophe in my life has now become the catalyst for my direction.
Nikki Rowe
The thing is, there is no certainty in this life - in one second your entire world could shift. I'm not saying it will, but I am living proof that It can. We never prepare for tragedy and that's a good thing but my god what's it's taught me is how little we appreciate what we have or some cases once had.
Nikki Rowe
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