Comments Quotes - Page 2

What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone?

God made me on a morning when he had nothing else to do.

When Babe Ruth was asked in 1930 how he felt about making more money that the President of the United States he replied 'I had a better year than he (Herbert Hoover) did.' When Tom Snyder was asked in 1977 how he felt about making more money per year than President Carter he replied 'I have to go out and buy my own 707.'

Cleveland Amory

Nothing succeeds like one's own successor.

Clarence H. Hinclcs

I am an atheist. I don't believe in Zeus.

Graffiti

I don't deserve this but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

I don't know much about being a millionaire but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.

I never said "I want to be alone." I only said "I want to be left alone." There is all the difference.

In baiting a mousetrap with cheese always leave room for the mouse.

Saki

In the ant's house the dew is a flood.

India is a geographical term. It is no more a United Nation than the Equator.

Winston Churchill

Judas needed the money for a sick friend.

Graffiti

Judge Crater - please call your office.

Graffiti

It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age he had been dead for two years.

He wouldn't give a duck a drink if he owned Lake Michigan.

Anonymous

Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't put his pants on.

Arthur K. Watson

My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.

Benjamin Disraeli

Alimony: the cash surrender value of a husband.

Anonymous

Kiss principle: Keep it simple stupid.

Anonymous

Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn't have to do it.

His shortcoming is his long staying.

Anonymous

He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

Winston Churchill

Sherard Blaw the dramatist who had discovered himself and who had given so unstintingly of his discovery to the world.

Saki

The Right Honourable gentleman is indebted to his memory for his jests and to his imagination for his facts.

Richard Brinsley Sheridan

You must lose a fly to catch a trout.

Only mediocrity can be trusted to be always at its best.

Only two things are infinite the universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the former.

Albert Einstein

Sometimes a cigar is only a cigar.

The blind man is laughing at the bald head.

Persian Proverb

The net of the sleeper catches fish.

There ain't no answer. There ain't gonna be any answer. There never has been an answer. That's the answer.

We are the people our parents warned us about.

Graffiti

Worthless as wither'd weeds.

Rip van Winkle was lazy.

Robert H. Gurney

A diplomat these days is nothing but a head waiter who is allowed to sit down occasionally.

A man surprised is half beaten.

A nimble sixpence is better than a slow shilling.

English Proverb

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

Every path has its puddle.

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.

Evil spelled backward is live.

Graffiti

Forgetting of a wrong is a mild revenge.

He looked at me as if I was a side dish he hadn't ordered.

Heat madam! It was so dreadful that I found there was nothing for it but to take off my flesh and sit in my bones.

No Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.

I have admired W.C. Fields since the day he advanced upon Baby LeRoy with an ice pick. Any man who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad.

One bliss for which there is no match is when you itch to up and scratch.

Thin people are beautiful but fat people are adorable.

I had always assumed that cliche was a suburb of Paris until I discovered it to be a street in Oxford.

Philip Guedalla

He'd give the devil ulcers.

Anonymous

When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better.

Mae West

Tis better than riches To scratch when it itches.

Anonymous

When you have got an elephant by the hind leg and he is trying to run away it is best to let him run.

Abraham Lincoln

Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.

Mae West

All would live long but none would be old.

Proverbs

Bland as a Jesuit sober as a hymn.

William Ernest Henley

I never forget a face but in your case I'll make an exception.

Geography is about maps But biography is about chaps.

In the world of mules there are no rules.

There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.