I remembered the malangs of Shah Jamal, the dirty, shirtless renouncers with ratty beards and dreads and bare chests covered in necklaces of prayer beads, throwing around their arms in Charlie Manson dances and whipping out their old ID cards to say look, I used to be someone and now I’m no one, I’m so lost in Allah that I’ve thrown away the whole world. Would that qualify them as Sufis? I didin’t know how to measure it. Whether the malangs were Sufi saints or just drugged-out bums didn’t really matter. The lesson I took from them was that you’re never disqualified from loving Allah, never. And I could see again that what I went through was nothing new, not even anything special in the history of Islam, not a clashing of East and West; it was always there. And that made me feel more Muslim than ever, because fuck it all, CNN, this is Islam too.