Then Wanda proposed a health. “Health to abandoned wives!” she said. “Well now,” I said. “‘Abandoned,’ that’s a little strong.” “Pushed out, jettisoned, abjured, thrown away,” she said. “I remember,” I said, “a degree of mutuality, in our parting.” “And when guests came,” she said, “you always made me sit in the kitchen.” “I thought you liked it in the kitchen,” I said. “You were forever telling me to get out of the bloody kitchen.” “And when my overbite required correction,” she said, “you would not pay for the apparatus.” “Seven years of sitting by the window with your thumb in your mouth,” I said. “What did you expect?” “And when I needed a new frock,” she said, “you hid the Master Charge.” “There was nothing wrong with the old one,” I said, “that a few well-placed patches couldn’t have fixed.” “And when we were invited to the Argentine Embassy,” she said, “you made me drive the car in a chauffeur’s cap, and park the car, and stand about with the other drivers outside while you chatted up the Ambassador.” “You know no Spanish,” I pointed out. “It was not the happiest of marriages,” she said, “all in all.” “There has been a sixty percent increase in single-person households in the last ten years, according to the Bureau of the Census,” I told her. “Perhaps we are part of a trend.
Then Wanda proposed a health. “Health to abandoned wives!” she said. “Well now,” I said. “‘Abandoned,’ that’s a little strong.” “Pushed out, jettisoned, abjured, thrown away,” she said. “I remember,” I said, “a degree of mutuality, in our parting.” “And when guests came,” she said, “you always made me sit in the kitchen.” “I thought you liked it in the kitchen,” I said. “You were forever telling me to get out of the bloody kitchen.” “And when my overbite required correction,” she said, “you would not pay for the apparatus.” “Seven years of sitting by the window with your thumb in your mouth,” I said. “What did you expect?” “And when I needed a new frock,” she said, “you hid the Master Charge.” “There was nothing wrong with the old one,” I said, “that a few well-placed patches couldn’t have fixed.” “And when we were invited to the Argentine Embassy,” she said, “you made me drive the car in a chauffeur’s cap, and park the car, and stand about with the other drivers outside while you chatted up the Ambassador.” “You know no Spanish,” I pointed out. “It was not the happiest of marriages,” she said, “all in all.” “There has been a sixty percent increase in single-person households in the last ten years, according to the Bureau of the Census,” I told her. “Perhaps we are part of a trend.
