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Image of the quote is loading... SaveSave The boomerang is Australia's chief export (and then import). - Quote by Demetri Martin

The boomerang is Australia’s chief export (and then import).

Demetri Martin
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Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.
Demetri Martin
Hotel Conundrum: The continental breakfast. What is it that makes continents so shitty at providing an adequate breakfast?
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Fact: The plastic knife is perfect for when a person just wants to make some marks on his food and get insanely frustrated at the same time.
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No one ever thinks about the guy who was raised by the guy who was raised by wolves.
Demetri Martin
I am a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a pita. Why the pita? That counts as another mystery.
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Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
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Socrates became a trendsetter. Other philosophers, including Plato and Aristotle and Gus, quickly followed suit, dropping their last names too. And, for centuries after that there would be countless imitators including oltaire, Michelangelo, and, much later, Cher.
Demetri Martin
REGARDING THE MARCHING BAND: How much more interesting it would be to see a creeping band.
Demetri Martin
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