Sometimes life is intensely interesting and meaningful, and this meaning seems to be an objective fact, like sunlight. At other times it’s as meaningless and futile as the wind. We accept this eclipse of meaning as we accept changes in the weather. If I wake up with a bad cold or a headache, I seem to be deaf to meaning. Now if I woke up physically deaf or half-blind, I’d feel there was something wrong and consult a doctor. But when I’m deaf to meaning, I accept it as something natural. Esmond didn’t accept it as natural. And he also noticed that every time we’re sexually stimulated, meaning returns. We can hear again. So he pursued sex as a way of recovering meaning.

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