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You see, Squirt, there’s heaven, and then there’s hell. Hell is where they send all the bad people, like criminals and con artists and parking inspectors. And heaven is where they send all the good people, like you and me and that nice blonde from MasterChef.What happens when you get there? In heaven, you hang out with God and Jimi Hendrix, and you get to eat doughnuts whenever you want. In hell, you have to, uh . . . do the Macarena. Forever. To that “Grease Megamix.” Where do you go if you’re good and bad? What? I don’t know. IKEA?
