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What do you call it when a straight person comes out? … A conversation

Bill Konigsberg
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Is this your boyfriend?" the first nun asked. Clair Olivia looked me up and down. “No. This is my gay friend who decided he was straight and single-handedly wrecked havoc at an all-boys school in Massachusetts this fall. He’s gay again and home for Christmas, so yay!
Bill Konigsberg
Then I wondered if that was what this was, like a Brokeback Mountain thing. We’d sleep in the same bed for a year, and finally we’d do it, but we’d never talk about it, ever, and then Ben would get married and I’d be killed in Texas.Probably not, but you can never be too careful with these things.
Bill Konigsberg
Do you know how you get the urge to clean your room, and it’s no big deal? But when your mom tells you that you have to clean your room, you don't want to? That's me, anyway.
Bill Konigsberg
Why can’t I just be bad?” I asked, figuring my mom would have no idea what I was talking about.“Well, that’s easy, sweetie. You can be anything you want, but when you go against who you are inside, it doesn’t feel good.
Bill Konigsberg
The hole in my heart, I can’t even begin to describe. It’s hard when you open your heart and let someone in and then suddenly they’re not in it anymore. It doesn’t matter whose fault it is; that empty spot stings so bad that you want to find any kind of relief, or wrap yourself up so tight you can’t feel it anymore. I knew it might be there a little while. Or maybe even a long while. For both of us.
Bill Konigsberg
It’s hard to be different,” Scarborough said. “And perhaps the best answer is not to tolerate differences, not even to accept them. But to celebrate them. Maybe then those who are different would feel more loved, and less, well, tolerated.
Bill Konigsberg
This is where we come," he said. Albie and I look at each other. “We?”“Me and, you know.”Albie’s eyes got wide. “I really don’t think I want to know about this.” I surprised myself. “I do,” I said. I guess I was tired of having to withhold the truth from Toby. Other than Ben, he and Albie we’re easily my best friends at Natick. Toby looked a little surprised, like he’d just assumed we wouldn’t want to hear the details. “You do?”“Yeah.”He looked around to make sure we were alone. We definitely were. No one came back here to my knowledge. Also it was cold. Like twenty degrees. Only three idiots would be in the woods in the winter, it seemed to me. “Robinson” he said. “Gorilla Butt,” I said, nodding. “I know.”“You know?”“Yup.”Toby crossed his arms an then deflated into a fake pout. “You’re stealing my scene, bitch. Scene stealer.”“Sorry,” I said. “So you and Gorilla Butt. Wow.”He flipped me off. “He hates that,” Toby said. “But, yeah. It’s hairy.”“Oh, look, almost anything else in the universe,” Albie said, heading back to campus and leaving us in the clearing. “He’s such a prude,” Toby said rolling his eyes.
Bill Konigsberg
Having no room of my own to "take care of things" had begun to weigh on me. I wondered if storing up semen would have a health impact on me, positive or negative, like shinier hair or weight gain.
Bill Konigsberg
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