 but now surely--I should be mature enough to be over that. I am no longer afraid of falling in love, and the other false modesties should vanish. I cannot bear to think )
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And so I miss the fertilization that might come from a contact. And for me–yes, I think I might as well admit it–fertilization does come a great deal from contacts. Why then do I avoid them–in a sort of false pride–shyness–timorous modesty? I used to be afraid of falling in love with people–or having them think I was–that I was chasing them (how ridiculous–I am actually always running away!) but now surely–I should be mature enough to be over that. I am no longer afraid of falling in love, and the other false modesties should vanish. I cannot bear to think “par delicatesse j’ai perdu ma vie.” (Because of discretion I have lost my life).
