Quotes by Speakers - Page 20

Brian is a deeply compassionate man who was sad to learn that his work colleague, Tom, had lost his 17-year-old daughter to a drug overdose. When Tom returned to work weeks later, Brian approached him and said, “Man, I am so sorry. There are no words to express my condolences.“Brian reached out to hug Tom. At first, he was rigid and on guard, but with Brian’s genuine embrace, he felt Tom release into his safety. Tom had been so incredibly strong for his wife and family that Brian’s powerful hug allowed him to surrender into another man’s strength. It was a memorable and powerful step towards healing. Sometimes a hug at the right time, even if spontaneous, can be the kindest thing you can do for another human being.
Susan C.Young
Hugging is quite an intimate contact. Considering the studies done on proxemics we looked at earlier; when you get within two feet of another person you are inside their intimate space. There are some people who truly do not want you in their 'bubble' unless you are close friends or they’ve given you permission. Assuming familiarity incorrectly can destroy rapport, make a bad impression, and risk everything you have done well up to then.
Susan C.Young
Look for all of the possible missteps in the following scenario. My friend Amy arrived at a consultation with her Hispanic business partner. The African American woman to whom they were delivering their presentation was a long-time friend of her partner’s. Her partner was greeted with a hug and Amy was greeted with a handshake. The meeting was a great success.As it came to a close, the two friends hugged. With enthusiastic affection, Amy went to hug the African American client. The woman took a step, turned her shoulder to block the hug, and looked at Amy with dismissive anger. It was almost a defensive move. Her partner, recognizing this, put her arm around Amy to soften the situation and make light of the inappropriate gesture. Everything turned out fine, but Amy was baffled by the barrier. She was confused by the woman’s reaction since their interaction had been cordial and positive. She wondered if she had been socially insensitive or culturally inappropriate. After much reflection, however, she realized that she had simply been too quick to assume familiarity. Thankfully, she earned and learned the lesson quickly to become more aware. Amy eventually earned the trust of her client and secured her valuable business.
Susan C.Young
Physical touch is one of my primary love languages. For those of us who share this love language, touching is an endearing gesture of affection, appreciation, and connection. It is not intended to be inappropriate in any way when we hug you upon meeting, pat your back, or squeeze your arm. For us, it is an enthusiastic demonstration of friendship. However, there are many people who do NOT like to be touched—men or women. In spite of our good intentions, touching can make others feel awkward, offended, and in the worst-case scenario, violated. It is crucial to be vigilant and socially aware enough that you can read people’s cues to know when to pull back and contain yourself.
Susan C.Young
Confession. Years ago, I was invited to a cocktail party for an Asian-American networking group. As I introduced myself to a Japanese businessman, I reached out and firmly shook his hand. Much to my embarrassment now, I automatically took my other hand and wrapped our hands in a “hand hug.” This is a common gesture of friendship in the South. As his wife approached, however, she appeared appalled and felt disrespected that I was touching her husband. Our cultural differences were marked. Despite this cultural mishap, I was able to redeem myself. We all moved past it and delighted in an interesting conversation. Physical touch is a touchy topic (pun intended), especially when various cultures are involved.
Susan C.Young
Seek to make others feel comfortable by demonstrating respect for their individual needs as well as their cultural norms. Your consideration and heightened awareness will guide you well—and help you make a great first impression.
Susan C.Young
Approachability. Being warm and inviting demonstrates comfort, care, and emotional safety all of which encourages engagement. Your openness says, “I’m happy to meet you and am glad you’re here.
Susan C.Young
Handshakes, Hugs & Other Touching. Learning how to touch appropriately can elevate your presentation, demonstrate respect, and convey confidence.
Susan C.Young
Orientation & Proximity. Be aware of the orientation between yourself and others so that you can be sensitive and responsive to their comfort zones.
Susan C.Young
Smiling and Expressions of Emotion. A genuine smile is inviting, contagious, and encouraging. People do read a book by its cover and your expressions provide a glimpse for what they’ll find inside.
Susan C.Young
Eye Contact. Direct eye contact is one of the best compliments you can give to another. You are subliminally telling them that you are listening, they matter, and that what they have to say is important.
Susan C.Young
Energy & Aura. You release your own distinctive energy signature which naturally produces a physical presence. When you emit positive energy, thoughts, feelings, and vibrations, you attract more positives into your life.
Susan C.Young
Stepping out and stepping up can be an intimidating experience, especially in social situations where the outcomes are unpredictable and uncertain. Have you ever been reluctant to . . . •tSay "no?"•tRequest help?•tAsk for a raise?•tStand up to a bully?•tTalk about tough topics?•tConfront a friend or spouse?•tSpeak up and share your opinion?•tBegin a conversation with a stranger?•tDeliver a presentation or speak in public?•tTalk about the “white elephant” in the room?•tBefriend people who are much different than you?•tMake sales calls because you don’t want to be rejected?•tApproach a new group of people at a networking event?•tGo to an event by yourself where you did not know anyone?Each of these scenarios can strike fear in the hearts of many because each involves risk and potential discomfort. Life holds endless circumstances with a broad and diverse range of challenge or conflict that require you to be brave.
Susan C.Young
What is easy for one person may be terrifying for another. Not all people have developed an unshakable confidence to kick butt and conquer. How can meek and quiet wallflowers, both women and men, join the ranks of the risk takers and event shakers? The first step is to ask yourself how you may be feeling stuck and then get moving.
Susan C.Young
If you like the relationship results you have been getting and don’t see any need for improvement, your status quo may actually be your sweet spot for comfort and contentment. That is a wonderful place to be.However, if you are like most of us, staying stuck in your status quo may prevent you from striving, thriving, and growing in your relationship possibilities.
Susan C.Young
I was once hired by an organization to deliver a workshop on networking. The goal was to provide their engineers with tools and strategies for expanding their circles of influence—to foster innovation, collaboration, and teambuilding. One of the engineers raised her hand in the middle of the program and bluntly said, “I’m happy with the people in my life and don’t care to add any more.” I respect and appreciate her position and have sometimes felt the same way.But, as long as we are alive, we will meet, greet, and interact with new people. Even if we are not inviting them into our personal lives, being socially brave will open new doors which may have remained closed otherwise.
Susan C.Young
Fear is the number one reason why people do not take action. The divine irony is that most of the fears we experience are self-generated and born out of our own imaginings, hence the acronym False Evidence Appearing Real.
Susan C.Young
Every one of us, at some time or another, has allowed fear to prevent us from living our best possible life. The first step in conquering our fears is to identify and confront them. Among the most common are:•tFailure•tSuccess•tBeing rejected•tLooking stupid•tFinancial insecurity•tFalling on your face•tBeing vulnerable•tAppearing weak or unhealthy•tExposing your secrets•tBeing alone or unloved•tUpsetting the status quo•tDisappointing others
Susan C.Young
To cultivate bravery and courage, ground yourself in your character values:Building a solid foundation of integrity and character will fortify your confidence to face down fears and take bold action.
Susan C.Young
To cultivate bravery and courage, take a deep breath & relax:When you feel fear, your body tenses up and your thoughts lead you down an anxiety-ridden path. Stop, breathe, relax.
Susan C.Young
To cultivate bravery and courage, interview brave people and learn their secrets.Whom do you know that displays courage and confidence? Ask them for their best practices, mimic their actions, follow their steps, utilize their methods. Ask if they will mentor you.
Susan C.Young
To cultivate bravery and courage, borrow courage.There is inspiration all around you in the form of people who are living your dreams, achieving similar goals, and already succeeding. Knowing that something can be done is often half the battle. Most successful people find great reward in helping others reach for goals.
Susan C.Young
To cultivate bravery and courage, avoid the bystander effect.Rather than standing on the sidelines watching other people achieve their goals, jump in with both feet and get involved.
Susan C.Young
To cultivate bravery and courage, get involved in a cause you are passionate about.Serving a vision bigger than yourself changes your focus from self-doubt to whatever action is necessary for the vision to succeed. “When in doubt, take it out.
Susan C.Young
To cultivate bravery and courage, change your attitude toward failure. Many successful people will tell you that if you aren’t failing, you aren’t trying—that failure is an essential precursor to achieving worthwhile endeavors. Failing (no matter how hard) is one of life’s best teachers for winning the next time.
Susan C.Young
When it comes to meeting new people, playing well with others, and connecting on deeper levels, there are inherent gaps which can be closed only by being brave. When is bravery needed?
Susan C.Young
It’s not bravery unless you are doing something which causes you to feel afraid. Unless there is some degree of fear or apprehension involved, bravery is not even needed.
Susan C.Young
Being brave requires taking deliberate action and doing something new that stretches you beyond your comfort zone.
Susan C.Young
Any time you put yourself on the line, you risk (and maybe fear) failing, falling, being embarrassed, or looking stupid—none of which are comfortable.
Susan C.Young
If being brave were easy, more people would be.
Susan C.Young
Being brave is not for the light-hearted. Bravery takes fortitude—the very act of bravery prevents anyone from knowing you were ever afraid in the first place.
Susan C.Young
All manners are not created equal and can conjure different interpretations based on the environment in which they are being displayed.
Susan C.Young
What is appropriate in one setting may be entirely inappropriate in another. How you behave at a football game is different than how you behave at your sister’s wedding. How you interact with your closest friends will be different than how you engage with your boss.
Susan C.Young
For more than forty years, Judith Martin has inspired the world with advice on etiquette excellence, proper behavior, and codes of conduct through her critically acclaimed newspaper column, “Miss Manners.” In an interview for her book, Miss Manners Minds Your Business, Mrs. Martin reminds us that “When you go to work, you want a degree of professionalism which does not involve hearing about all of the sordid details of a person’s love life. We are not necessarily all friends, but have a job that needs to be done. A work friend is not always a social friend. One requires distance while the other embraces intimacy.
Susan C.Young
As our society has become more casual, the line between a person’s personal life and professional life has become blurred, especially with the advent of social media. Personal information, your manners (or lack thereof), opinions, and pictures of your private life are available for all the world to see. HR directors, recruiters, and potential employers will often ascertain a person’s manners and moral compass from their online presence.
Susan C.Young
ASK YOURSELF: Are you presenting yourself in the best of all lights, online and off, and demonstrating the dignity of good manners? Make sure of it! If not, it may come back to haunt you.
Susan C.Young
How a person treats wait staff speaks volumes about their character and values. If they misbehave in this scenario, you can likely predict how they will react when cut off in traffic, when their luggage is lost, or when life doesn’t go their way. It is also an indicator to CEOs and hiring managers as to whether a person is a viable candidate for being a considerate team player.
Susan C.Young
Ernest Hemingway was a champion of the common man. He once said, “There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man. True nobility is being superior to your former self.
Susan C.Young
It is unimpressive to not hold a door open for the next person coming through. After a satisfying workout at my gym, I was walking behind a man who was exiting at the same time. He was only about two feet in front of me. As he walked through the door, he let it close behind him, almost hitting me in the face. Was he being intentionally rude? Was he preoccupied and focused on other things? No matter whether an offender is being a jerk intentionally, or is simply oblivious to how his behavior is affecting others, rude behavior instantly makes a negative impression. Be aware!
Susan C.Young
It is unimpressive to interrupt another person while they are talking. Interrupting someone in mid-sentence demonstrates that your focus is on yourself, not the person talking. I had a friend who used a humorous retort whenever someone would interrupt him. He would graciously, albeit sarcastically, say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to speak while you were interrupting.” It always got a laugh, yet he was cleverly letting the intruder know of his infraction without being too confrontational.
Susan C.Young
It is unimpressive to speaking rudely to others. Often, all we need to do to ensure that we do not launch into a rude remark is to pause . . . breathe . . . and smile to ourselves before speaking.And when people are rude to you, just remember that they are revealing who they are, not who you are. Don’t take it personally. Sometimes being silent is your best response.
Susan C.Young
I am a very lucky lady that my life partner, Daniel, is a true-blue Southern gentleman. Watching him in action not only earns my love and respect, but it also strengthens his countenance and bolsters his reputation as a man. As a health care provider, he treats numerous patients who are elderly or in pain. Daniel has made it a customary ritual while people are in his care to help them with their coats, provide a stabilizing arm, carry the ladies’ purses, and even walk patients out to their cars. While this kindness provides extraordinary customer service, it also demonstrates that small acts of chivalry can make a significant impact on one’s reputation, first impression, and overall human-beingness.
Susan C.Young
A man worth his salt will treat a lady like a lady and make the effort to be a gentleman. While independent women are fully capable of being self-reliant, the majority whom I know appreciate being treated with respect, consideration, and chivalry. For the women who yearn for the old-fashioned, good-hearted, chivalrous guy, I promise, they do exist.
Susan C.Young
It is unimpressive to not return what’s been borrowed. Whether you have borrowed money, folding chairs, yard tools, or a popular book, always make sure you return to another person what is rightfully theirs. Lending it to you in the first place was a gift of trust and assistance. Being slow to give back in return may be considered rude.
Susan C.Young
While you will certainly attract more bees with honey, there are times when being nice can backfire. Take it from a naturally kind person, being a “bitch” has its time and place. There will be times when you must engage with mean, rude, and inconsiderate people.
Susan C.Young
Being Nice Has Its Limitations. While you will certainly attract more bees with honey, there are times when being nice can backfire. Take it from a naturally kind person, being a “bitch” has its time and place. There will be times when you must engage with mean, rude, and inconsiderate people.
Susan C.Young
4 Times to Get Tough . . .1.tSelf-Respect—You don’t have to take everything on the chin and lose the respect of yourself and others in the process. Don’t be a doormat or a pushover by allowing people to disrespect or run over you. Stand firm in your beliefs and values.2.tSelf-Preservation—Understand and set boundaries. Decide what is and what is not acceptable in how people treat you. Claim your power to live life on your terms and not at the whims of others’ unreasonable requests and demands. 3.tProtecting others—If you are a parent of a child or a caretaker of the elderly or disabled, it is your moral duty to defend them to the end. 4.tSelf-Defense—Have you ever felt threatened, unsafe, or abused because of another’s behavior? Assert yourself and do whatever is necessary to ensure your safety. Being kind DOES NOT mean you should excuse such behavior.
Susan C.Young
Some people not only burn their bridges, but they also torch the town! With all their deeds of drama and destruction, they leave behind an aftermath of distrust, disrespect, and disappointment. And for what? This behavior creates immeasurable suffering in all directions. It ruins reputations and business deals, shatters lives—and closes doors which can never be re-opened. These repercussions can be prevented or avoided by simply BEING NICE.
Susan C.Young
Kindness is a powerful bridge builder which unifies teams, bonds friends, supports loved ones, and spreads goodwill. Tending to your bridges will fortify your relationships in such way that you will keep your invitations coming and your options open for future opportunities.
Susan C.Young
Whoever came up with the idea that "nice guys finish last" must have been either very jaded or downright malicious. Why would a caring, emotionally healthy human being ever think that being “un-nice” is a virtue? Anyone who wants to get ahead in life and have quality outcomes needs to understand that kindness is a strength. You will move forward faster by making friends rather than foes.
Susan C.Young
17 Ways to Just Be Nice“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” ―Aesop1.tBe sincere.2.tBe altruistic.3.tPractice patience.4.tInquire and engage.5.tKeep your promises.6.tOffer help to others.7.tAcknowledge others.8.tControl your behavior.9.tBe situationally aware.10.tBe polite and courteous.11.tUse considerate manners.12.tGreet people with a smile. 13.tPractice random acts of kindness.14.tShow respect for yourself and others.15.tBe complimentary and look for positives.16.tWalk in another’s shoes to understand their needs.17.tShare of yourself without expecting anything in return.
Susan C.Young
What is the motive behind your services? If it is self-centered, self-serving, and lacking consideration for others, then earning people’s trust, rapport, and business will inevitably be more of a struggle. A self-serving agenda throws up red flags which stop relationships dead in their tracks. It can destroy trust, make people wary of your intentions, and push customers to your competition.
Susan C.Young
However, if your agenda is truly to serve, your ROI (return on investment) will substantially expand. As we know from the "Law of Reciprocity," what you give is what you get. If you are helping people only to see what you can get out of it, your pie stays small and your opportunities stay limited. However, if you sincerely want to help people succeed, you will not only enjoy more success, but expand your possibilities beyond your expectations. Once you see the benefits from all directions, you will not want it any other way!
Susan C.Young
Service Beyond Self is Essential for Success Because It . . .•tBuilds credibility, trust, and customer satisfaction.•tStrengthens your personal reputation and public image.•tFosters goodwill and makes people feel appreciated.•tHelps you build healthy relationships with others.•tNurtures collaboration, participation, and cooperation.•tReaffirms a continuity of service for quality assurance, integrity, and reliability. •tSaves money—it costs less to keep existing customers than it does to create new ones. When you do it right the first time, you don’t have to fix it the next time.•tImproves communication and builds rapport.•tFosters mutual respect and understanding•tBy providing other people with what they want, you will get more of what you want!
Susan C.Young
To Move from Woe to Wow . . . Listen Attentively•tBe fully present and give your customer your full attention.•tStay calm and remain patient.•tDo not interrupt or become defensive.•tLet the customer express his or her concerns.•tNod your head and use affirming words to show that you are listening.•tRepeat back and empathize, when necessary. This confirms your understanding of the problem or question.
Susan C.Young
To cultivate bravery and courage, reduce uncertainty by being prepared. As Zig Ziglar once said, “Success happens when opportunity meets preparation.” Preparing well for potential outcomes will provide you with a safety net if there is a hiccup, glitch, or temporary setback.
Susan C.Young
To cultivate bravery and courage, practice, practice, practice. Each time you test your bravery you grow your self-assurance and increase your comfort to a greater degree. Repetition helps build confidence and competence. You did it; now do it again!
Susan C.Young
To cultivate bravery and courage, Do It Scared. Being scared is a precursor to bravery, otherwise, it wouldn’t be bravery, would it? Mustering the courage to stretch beyond your familiar territory is a rewarding act in itself.
Susan C.Young
To cultivate bravery and courage, may the Force be with you. Whether you fortify yourself with a positive mental attitude, affirmations, faith in God, prayer, and meditation, or an innate sense of personal destiny, you have the power to summon your courage and be brave. “Make it so, Number One!
Susan C.Young
And as is often the case, the people who would benefit the most from reading a book like this are the ones least likely to buy and read it. For you, however, this chapter will serve as a sterling reminder to make your manners shine.
Susan C.Young