Quotes by Screenwriters - Page 169

I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic.
Woody Allen
Am I about to discover where you, Ron, and Hermione disappeared to while you were supposed to be in the back room of Fred and George's shop?''How did you...?''Harry, please. You're talking to the man who raised Fred and George.
J.K. Rowling
When we come face-to-face with one down a dark alley, we're going to be having a shufti to see if it's solid, aren't we, we're not going to be asking, 'Excuse me, are you the imprint of a departed soul?
J.K. Rowling
His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad,His hair is as dark as a blackboard.I wish he was mine, he's really divine,The hero who conquered the Dark Lord.
J.K. Rowling
Don't forget to give Neville our love!' Ginny told James as she hugged him.!' Neville-'James rolled his eyes.....
J.K. Rowling
Which way did they go, Peeves?" Filch was saying. "Quick, tell me." "Say 'please.'" "Don't mess with me, Peeves, now where did they go?" "Shan't say nothing if you don't say please," said Peeves in his annoying singsong voice. "All right- PLEASE." "NOTHING! Ha haaa! Told you I wouldn't say nothing if you didn't say please! Ha ha! Haaaaaa!" And they heard the sound of Peeves whooshing away and Filch cursing in rage.
J.K. Rowling
We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie.
David Mamet
The mind is a complex and many-layered thing, Potter... or at least, most minds are...
J.K. Rowling
He who hesitates is a damned fool.
Mae West
Fred, you next," the plump woman said. "I'm not Fred, I'm George," said the boy. "Honestly, woman, you call yourself our mother? Can't you tell I'm George?" "Sorry, George, dear." "Only joking, I am Fred," said the boy and off he went.
J.K. Rowling
I’ll make Goyle do lines, it’ll kill him, he hates writing,” said Ron happily. He lowered his voice to Goyle’s low grunt and, screwing up his face in a look of pained concentration, mimed writing in midair. “I... must... not... look... like... a... baboon’s... backside.
J.K. Rowling
Ooh, you look much tastier than Crabbe and Goyle, Harry" said Hermione, before catching sight of Ron's raised eyebrows, blushing slightly and saying "oh you know what I mean - Goyle's Potion looked like bogies.
J.K. Rowling
We're not retreating, we're advancing in reverse.' --Skulduggery Pleasant
Derek Landy
The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies.
Neil Gaiman
You're Hell's Angels, then? What chapter are you from?''REVELATIONS. CHAPTER SIX.
Neil Gaiman
25 And the Lord spake unto the Angel that guarded the eastern gate, saying 'Where is the flaming sword that was given unto thee?'26 And the Angel said, 'I had it here only a moment ago, I must have put it down some where, forget my own head next.'27 And the Lord did not ask him again.
Neil Gaiman
They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," Valkyrie said. China glanced at her. "They've obviously never met me.
Derek Landy
Bad news, Harry. I've just been to see Professor McGonagall about the Firebolt. She – er, got a bit shirty with me. Told me I'd got my priorities wrong. Seemed to think I cared more about winning the Cup than I do about staying alive. Just because I told her I didn't care if it threw you off, as long as you caught the Snitch first.
J.K. Rowling
No one in the world gets what they want and that is beautiful.
Ernest Cline
Hello, Minister!" bellowed Percy, sending a neat jinx straight at Thicknesse, who dropped his wand and clawed at the front of his robes, apparently in awful discomfort. "Did I mention I'm resigning?
J.K. Rowling
Name the different kinds of people,’ said Miss Lupescu. ‘Now.’Bod thought for a moment. ‘The living,’ he said. ‘Er. The dead.’ He stopped. Then, ‘... Cats?’ he offered, uncertainly.
Neil Gaiman
I'm right and you're wrong, I'm big and you're small, and there's nothing you can do about it.
Roald Dahl
The Death Eaters can't all be pure-blood, there aren't enough pure-blood wizards left," said Hermione stubbornly. "I expect most of them are half-bloods pretending to be pure. It's only Muggle-borns they hate, they'd be quite happy to let you and Ron join up" "There is no way they'd let me be a Death Eater!" said Ron indignantly...."My whole family are blood traitors! That's as bad as Muggle-borns to Death Eaters!" "And they'd love to have me," said Harry sarcastically. "We'd be best pals if they didn't keep trying to do me in.
J.K. Rowling
How do I know you'll keep your word?" asked Coraline."I swear it," said the other mother. "I swear it on my own mother's grave.""Does she have a grave?" asked Coraline."Oh yes," said the other mother. "I put her in there myself. And when I found her trying to crawl out, I put her back.
Neil Gaiman
A good night sleep, or a ten minute bawl, or a pint of chocolate ice cream, or all three together, is good medicine.
Ray Bradbury
Do you mean ter tell me," he growled at the Dursleys, "that this boy—this boy!—knows nothin' abou'—about ANYTHING?"Harry thought this was going a bit far. He had been to school, after all, and his marks weren't bad."I know some things," he said. "I can, you know, do math and stuff.
J.K. Rowling
Everybody going to be dead one day, just give them time.
Neil Gaiman
Being a detective isn't all about torture and murder and monsters. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant...The fate of the world may depend on whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives.
Derek Landy
You are your mother's trueborn son of Lannister.""Am I?" the dwarf replied, sardonic. "Do tell my lord father. My mother died birthing me, and he's never been sure.""I don't even know who my mother was," Jon said. "Some woman, no doubt. Most of them are." He favored Jon with a rueful grin. "Remember this, boy. All dwarfs may be bastards, yet not all bastards need be dwarfs."And with that he turned and sauntered back into the feast, whistling a tune. When he opened the door, the light from within threw his shadow clear across the yard, and for just a moment Tyrion Lannister stood tall as a king.
George R.R. Martin
The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity.
Harlan Ellison
Hermione launched herself forwards and started punching every inch of him that she could reach.'Ouch — ow — gerroff! What the — ? Hermione — OW!'“You — complete — arse — Ronald — Weasley!”She punctuated every word with a blow: Ron backed away, shielding his head as Hermione advanced.
J.K. Rowling
I'm Draco Malfoy, I'm Draco, I'm on your side!"Draco was on the upper landing, pleading with another masked Death Eater. Harry Stunned the Death Eater as they passed: Malfoy looked around, beaming, for his savior, and Ron punched him from under the cloak. Malfoy fell backward on top of the Death Eater, his mouth bleeding, utterly bemused."And that's the second time we've saved your life tonight, you two-faced bastard!" Ron yelled.
J.K. Rowling
Grown ups are complicated creatures, full of quirks and secrets.
Roald Dahl
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
Woody Allen
Everybody finished the song at different times. At last, only the Weasley twins were left singing along to a very slow funeral march.
J.K. Rowling
Did you ever want to set someone's head on fire, just to see what it looked like? Did you ever stand in the street and think to yourself, I could make that nun go blind just by giving her a kiss? Did you ever lay out plans for stitching babies and stray cats into a Perfect New Human? Did you ever stand naked surrounded by people who want your gleaming sperm, squirting frankincense, soma and testosterone from every pore? If so, then you're the bastard who stole my drugs Friday night. And I'll find you. Oh, yes.
Warren Ellis
Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!
Roald Dahl
Well, we were always going to fail that one," said Ron gloomily as they ascended the marble staircase. He had just made Harry feel rather better by telling him how he told the examiner in detail about the ugly man with a wart on his nose in the crystal ball, only to look up and realize he had been describing the examiner's reflection.
J.K. Rowling
FEAR stands for fuck everything and run.
Stephen King
I am your Prince and you will marry me," Humperdinck said.Buttercup whispered, "I am your servant and I refuse.""I am you Prince and you cannot refuse.""I am your loyal servant and I just did.""Refusal means death.""Kill me then.
William Goldman
Alas! Earwax!
J.K. Rowling
You're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater.
Joss Whedon
Nobody's ever asked me to a party before, as a friend. Is that why you dyed your eyebrow, for the party? Should I do mine too?
J.K. Rowling
So why in the name of Merlin’s saggy left —”“Don’t talk to your mother like that.
J.K. Rowling
It unscrews the other way.
J.K. Rowling
I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
Woody Allen
I know that David Tennant's Hamlet isn't till July. And lots of people are going to be doing Dr Who in Hamlet jokes, so this is just me getting it out of the way early, to avoid the rush..."To be, or not to be, that is the question. Weeelll.... More of A question really. Not THE question. Because, well, I mean, there are billions and billions of questions out there, and well, when I say billions, I mean, when you add in the answers, not just the questions, weeelll, you're looking at numbers that are positively astronomical and... for that matter the other question is what you lot are doing on this planet in the first place, and er, did anyone try just pushing this little red button?
Neil Gaiman
Great, tell me when you've defeated Voldemort for me, will you?
J.K. Rowling
Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing.
Joss Whedon
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
Mae West
By all means continue destroying my possessions. I daresay I have too many.
J.K. Rowling
What's that?" he snarled, staring at the envelope Harry was still clutching in his hand. "If it's another form for me to sign, you've got another -""It's not," said Harry cheerfully. "It's a letter from my godfather.""Godfather?" sputtered Uncle Vernon. "You haven't got a godfather!""Yes, I have," said Harry brightly. "He was my mum and dad's best friend. He's a convicted murderer, but he's broken out of wizard prison and he's on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me, though...keep up with my news...check if I'm happy....
J.K. Rowling
So that's little Scorpious. Make sure you beat him in every test, Rosie. Thank god you've inherited your mother's brains.
J.K. Rowling
How're we getting to King's Cross tomorrow, Dad?" asked Fred as they dug into a sumptuous pudding."The Ministry's providing a couple of cars," said Mr. Weasley.Everyone looked up at him."Why?" said Percy curiously."It's because of you, Perce," said George seriously. "And there'll be little flags on the hoods, with HB on them-""-for Humongous Bighead," said Fred.
J.K. Rowling
I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.
Woody Allen
We’ll never survive!” “Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has.
William Goldman
Can't stay long, Mother," he said. "I'm up front, the prefects have got two compartments to themselves-""Oh, are you a prefect, Percy?" said one of the twins, with an air of great surprise. "You should have said something, we had no idea.""Hang on, I think I remember him saying something about it," said the other twin. "Once-""Or twice-""A minute-""All summer-""Oh, shut up," said Percy the Prefect.
J.K. Rowling
Anyone can speak Troll. All you have to do is point and grunt.
J.K. Rowling
God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.
Woody Allen
Well, I certainly don't," said Percy sanctimoniously. "I shudder to think what the state of my in-tray would be if I was away from work for five days." "Yeah, someone might slip dragon dung in it again, eh, Perce?" said Fred. "That was a sample of fertilizer from Norway!" said Percy, going very red in the face. "It was nothing personal!" "It was," Fred whispered to Harry as they got up from the table. "We sent it.
J.K. Rowling