Quotes by Satirists - Page 3

Passing their toilet training is the very last thing that some adults did that has made their parents proud of them.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Being bigheaded can be as irritating and as dangerous as being small-minded.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Most people who are would each not be in love with their partner, if they did not have the kind of genitals they have.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some people wouldn’t still be sane, if they were not religious or superstitious; some wouldn’t be disabled or dead.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Whenever He answers prayers, God usually prioritizes those by people who, instead of their mouths, have prayed with their hands and/or feet.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Most priests wish they were as righteous as they seem to most members of their congregations.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
There probably was a time when the idea of having a toilet inside a house was repulsive.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
There would be fewer absent fathers, if straight men were turned on only by women with whom they would not mind having children.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
An arrogant man whose arrogance we see from his own behaviour is more tolerable than a humble man whose humility we hear of from his own mouth.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Every single person is a fool, insane, a failure, or a bad person to at least ten people.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
We are sometimes dragged into a pit of unhappiness by someone else’s opinion that we do not look happy.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Nothing is as irritating to a shy man as a confident girl.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Even the world’s greatest actor cannot fake an erection.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Whenever they are condemning weaves or breast implants, some people speak so passionately that their false teeth almost fall out.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Marketing is so powerful that it can make even an extremely untalented musician a one-hundred-hits wonder.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some women have kissed—and some are kissing—a lot of frogs, even though the very first man that they have each kissed was and is still a prince.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The least we each ought to do for someone who treats us like a king or a queen is to treat them like a prince or a princess.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Unrequited love is a billion times less intolerable than unrequited hate.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
There would definitely be way fewer instances of cheating, if the average couple did not have sex only when the woman feels like it.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some men would not still be HIV negative or alive, if they had managed to sleep with some of the women with whom they want or wanted to have sex.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Death would not surprise us as often as it does, if we let go of the misbelief that newborns are less mortal than the elderly.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Because he has finally realized that it is it and not him that is loved by the woman he loves, many a man is jealous of his own car, house, wardrobe, or salary.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The middle class were invented to give the poor hope; the poor, to make the rich feel special; the rich, to humble the middle class.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
To evade arrogance, remind yourself (from time to time) that your talent or success could have been better. To be thankful, remind yourself (every now and then) that your illness or failure could have been worse.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
We love being mentally strong, but we hate situations that allow us to put our mental strength to good use.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Because of self-doubt, the fear of failure, or laziness, most people usually bite off way less than they can chew.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some people are still alive only because they find being dead more boring than being alive.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Even those who want to go to heaven would rather kill than be killed.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
We have glorified wealth and freedom so much that it is impossible for most of us to truly believe that a man can truly be happy in a shack or within the confines of a prison cell.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Most people do not mind having a house that is smaller and/or a car that is cheaper than their neighbours’, as long as they each earn and have more money than their neighbours, and, equally important, their neighbours know that.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
That the universe was formed by a fortuitous concourse of atoms, I will no more believe than that the accidental jumbling of the alphabet would fall into a most ingenious treatise of philosophy.
Jonathan Swift
It is still cheating, even if nobody comes.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Where the frontier of science once was is now the centre.
Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
It is still cheating, even if nobody comes.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
When a man cheats, it is said it is because he is a dog. When a woman cheats, it is said it is because her man is a dog.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
There is a correlation between the number of days since a man last had sex, and, the number of things that he is willing to do for a woman.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
When you are unemployed, weekends are seven days long.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Freedom of speech is unnecessary if the people to whom it is granted do not think for themselves.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
It sometimes requires ignorance and arrogance to know something for sure.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
It is usually unbearably painful to read a book by an author who knows way less than you do, unless the book is a novel.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
You are more likely to find three TVs inside a randomly selected house than you are to find a single book that is or was not read to pass an exam, to please God, or to be a better cook.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Music resembles poetry, in eachAre nameless graces which no methods teach,And which a master hand alone can reach.
Alexander Pope
We seldom learn much from someone with whom we agree.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Most women would each be left with fewer dreams or without a dream, if the institution of marriage were to be abolished.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some writers write to forget. Some forget to write.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
When it comes to their love lives, some people do not really have high standards; they merely have low sex drive.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Most people would instantly start feeling ten years older if someone were to convince them that they were actually born a decade before their birthdate.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some of the best things that have ever happened to us wouldn’t have happened to us, if it weren’t for some of the worst things that have ever happened to us.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some people will insult your intelligence by suddenly being nice or nicer to you once you make it … or they think you have.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Being a bad parent is a sign of not having learned from experience.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
He who is jealous is better off not dating someone who is bisexual.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
There is no such thing as a boring person when you are lonely or extremely bored.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Life curses some poor people with the love of luxury, while it blesses some with the very same thing.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Only someone who isn’t a fool stands a chance of not being bothered by being deemed a fool by a fool.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Being divorced does not necessarily make one’s advice on marriage useless … or useful.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some people would regard people who look like they do as ugly if they did not look like them.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The second most dangerous thing about money is that it leaves most of the people who have a lot of it with the unshakable belief that they are intelligent and well informed. The most dangerous thing about it is that it leaves most of the people who do not have a lot of money with the very same belief.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
By drinking, a boy acts like a man. After drinking, many a man acts like a boy.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Getting through life without a lot of money, possessions, and/or friends is admirable, especially if it is by choice.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana