Quotes by Satirists - Page 28

When they have discovered truth in nature they fling it into a book, where it is even worse hands.
Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
On the top of Cadair Idris,I felt how happy a man might bewith a little money and a sane intellect,and reflected with astonishment and pityon the madness of the multitude.
Thomas Love Peacock
NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi.
Ambrose Bierce
Pactum serva" - "Keep the faith
Horace
Hash, x. There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is.Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable.Dictionary, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work.
Ambrose Bierce
HOMICIDE, n. The slaying of one human being by another. There arefour kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, andpraiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slainwhether he fell by one kind or another -- the classification is foradvantage of the lawyers.
Ambrose Bierce
Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
Ambrose Bierce
In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
Ambrose Bierce
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
Ambrose Bierce
There are never enough 'I love you's.
Lenny Bruce
The covers of this book are too far apart.
Ambrose Bierce
Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
Ambrose Bierce
You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
Ambrose Bierce
We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.
Jonathan Swift
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Ambrose Bierce
May you live every day of your life.
Jonathan Swift
Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Ambrose Bierce