Quotes by Satirists - Page 25

When a man cheats, it is said it is because he is a dog. When a woman cheats, it is said it is because her man is a dog.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
There is a correlation between the number of days since a man last had sex, and, the number of things that he is willing to do for a woman.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
We usually learn from debates that we seldom learn from debates.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
When you are unemployed, weekends are seven days long.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
One of the most common and most dangerous misbeliefs is that it is impossible for someone to be stupid just because they are a doctor or a lawyer.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Assuming that all ‘unschooled’ people to lack education is akin to assuming that a salary is the only means to make money, or, that a vagina or a penis is the only source of an orgasm.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Freedom of speech is unnecessary if the people to whom it is granted do not think for themselves.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Education, n. That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
Ambrose Bierce
You know you made it, when your friends tell their friends that you are their friend.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
You know you made it, when people you know, tell people they know, that you know them.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The more you know, the less you talk. The less you talk, the more you know.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Knowing more than someone does not necessarily mean that you know every single thing they know.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
It sometimes requires ignorance and arrogance to know something for sure.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
An ignorant man who is regarded as knowledgeable by people who are more ignorant than him is still ignorant.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
We are generally treated based on how much or little we have, earn, or know—or seem to have, earn, or know.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
It is usually unbearably painful to read a book by an author who knows way less than you do, unless the book is a novel.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
You are more likely to find three TVs inside a randomly selected house than you are to find a single book that is or was not read to pass an exam, to please God, or to be a better cook.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. So is a lot.
Alexander Pope
The orgasm has replaced the Cross as the focus of longing and the image of fulfillment.
Malcolm Muggeridge
Know thyself, presume not God to scan;The proper study of mankind is man.
Alexander Pope
Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
Ambrose Bierce
Scientists used to do an experiment whereby a dog’s repeated reward for performing a task was unaccountably replaced by punishment. The dog, knowing it would be penalized for doing well or doing badly, would become melancholic and inactive. This and other unforeseeable results were funded by taxing up to sixty percent of people’s earnings. People became strangely melancholic and inactive
Steve Aylett
Rule your mind or it will rule you.
Horace
OBSOLETE, adj. No longer used by the timid. Said chiefly of words. A word which some lexicographer has marked obsolete is ever thereafter an object of dread and loathing to the fool writer, but if it is a good word and has no exact modern equivalent equally good, it is good enough for the good writer. Indeed, a writer's attitude toward "obsolete" words is as true a measure of his literary ability as anything except the character of his work. A dictionary of obsolete and obsolescent words would not only be singularly rich in strong and sweet parts of speech; it would add large possessions to the vocabulary of every competent writer who might not happen to be a competent reader.
Ambrose Bierce
A key and a strangler - this is all a simple tale requires.
Steve Aylett
Beware of the compound adjective, beloved of the tyro and the 'poetess'.
Ambrose Bierce
In words, as fashions, the same rule will hold;Alike fantastic, if too new, or old:Be not the first by whom the new are tried,Nor yet the last to lay the old aside.
Alexander Pope
People think of faith as being something that you don't really believe, a device in helping you believe simply it. Of course that is quite wrong. As Pascal says, faith is a gift of God. It is different from the proof of it. It is the kind of faith God himself places in the heart, of which the proof is often the instrument...He says of it, too, that it is the heart which is aware of God, and not reason. That is what faith is: God perceived by the heart, not be reason.
Malcolm Muggeridge
Next o'er his books his eyes began to roll,In pleasing memory of all he stole.
Alexander Pope
Yes, I am proud; I must be proud to seeMen not afraid of God afraid of me.
Alexander Pope
In pride, in reasoning pride, our error lies;All quit their sphere and rush into the skies.Pride still is aiming at the blest abodes, Men would be angels, angels would be gods. Aspiring to be gods, if angels fell, Aspiring to be angels, men rebel.
Alexander Pope
Music resembles poetry, in eachAre nameless graces which no methods teach,And which a master hand alone can reach.
Alexander Pope
Some who grow dull religious straight commenceAnd gain in morals what they lose in sense.
Alexander Pope
[P]oetry resembles metaphysics: one does not mind one's own, but one does not like anyone else's.
Samuel Butler
Remembrance and reflection how allied!What thin partitions Sense from Thought divide!
Alexander Pope
The Wit of Cheats, the Courage of a Whore,Are what ten thousand envy and adore:All, all look up, with reverential Awe,At crimes that 'scape, or triumph o'er the Law:While Truth, Worth, Wisdom, daily they decry-`'Nothing is sacred now but Villainy'- Epilogue to the Satires, Dialogue I
Alexander Pope
True Wit is Nature to advantage dress'dWhat oft was thought, but ne'er so well express'd;Something whose truth convinced at sight we find,That gives us back the image of our mind.As shades more sweetly recommend the light,So modest plainness sets off sprightly wit.
Alexander Pope
To wake the soul by tender strokes of art,To raise the genius, and to mend the heart
Alexander Pope
Beauties in vain their pretty eyes may roll; Charms strike the sight, but merit wins the soul.
Alexander Pope
Know then thyself, presume not God to scan,The proper study of mankind is Man.Placed on this isthmus of a middle state,A being darkly wise and rudely great:With too much knowledge for the Sceptic side,With too much weakness for the Stoic's pride,He hangs between, in doubt to act or rest;In doubt to deem himself a God or Beast;In doubt his mind or body to prefer;Born but to die, and reas'ning but to err;Alike in ignorance, his reason such,Whether he thinks too little or too much;Chaos of thought and passion, all confused;Still by himself abused or disabused;Created half to rise, and half to fall;Great lord of all things, yet a prey to all;Sole judge of truth, in endless error hurl'd;The glory, jest, and riddle of the world!Go, wondrous creature! mount where science guides,Go, measure earth, weigh air, and state the tides;Instruct the planets in what orbs to run,Correct old time, and regulate the sun;Go, soar with Plato to th’ empyreal sphere,To the first good, first perfect, and first fair;Or tread the mazy round his followers trod,And quitting sense call imitating God;As Eastern priests in giddy circles run,And turn their heads to imitate the sun.Go, teach Eternal Wisdom how to rule—Then drop into thyself, and be a fool!
Alexander Pope
A little learning is a dangerous thing.Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian Spring;There shallow draughts intoxicate the brain,and drinking largely sobers us again.
Alexander Pope
Wise wretch! with pleasures too refined to please,With too much spirit to be e'er at ease,With too much quickness ever to be taught,With too much thinking to have common thought:You purchase pain with all that joy can give,And die of nothing but a rage to live.
Alexander Pope
We seldom learn much from someone with whom we agree.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Most adults are knowledgeable to a child, but ignorant for their age.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Most women would each be left with fewer dreams or without a dream, if the institution of marriage were to be abolished.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some writers write to forget. Some forget to write.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
When it comes to their love lives, some people do not really have high standards; they merely have low sex drive.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Most of the very few people who would choose a good heart over riches would eventually use that to either make a lot of money, or attract men or women who are rich.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Most people would instantly start feeling ten years older if someone were to convince them that they were actually born a decade before their birthdate.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some of the best things that have ever happened to us wouldn’t have happened to us, if it weren’t for some of the worst things that have ever happened to us.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
There’s no such thing as a good or bad person: there are just people who have each been or seem to have been good or bad to you, someone, or some people, thus far.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some people will insult your intelligence by suddenly being nice or nicer to you once you make it … or they think you have.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Being a bad parent is a sign of not having learned from experience.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
He who is jealous is better off not dating someone who is bisexual.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
There is no such thing as a boring person when you are lonely or extremely bored.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
There is so much woman in many a girl and too much boy in many a man.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Life curses some poor people with the love of luxury, while it blesses some with the very same thing.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
We call talking about other people’s personal lives ‘gossip’ only if we aren’t or weren’t part of the conversation.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
People who are not blessed with the ability to make others laugh compensate for that by saying (or trying to say) things that are profound.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Only someone who isn’t a fool stands a chance of not being bothered by being deemed a fool by a fool.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana