Quotes by Satirists - Page 17

The 'what should be' never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no 'what should be,' there is only what is.
Lenny Bruce
In her 20′s, a woman’s breasts double her self-esteem. In her 40′s, they halve it.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Life entertains humble men by giving men with below average looks (intellect, knowledge, etc.) an above average self-esteem.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
*I’m hustling* is a low self-esteem having man’s way of saying *I’m unemployed,* when answering a seemingly materialistic woman’s question as to what he does for a living.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Life ups the self-esteem of a low-paid man by giving him things that the high-paid man that he envies cannot buy (intellect, looks, sex appeal, etc.).
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Being shy is a symptom of a low self-esteem.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
We are not as important to most people as we are to ourselves. As a matter of fact, we are—to most people—not important at all.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Idiot - A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. The Idiot's activity is not confined to any special field of thought or action, but "pervades and regulates the whole." He has the last word in everything; his decision is unappealable. He sets the fashions and opinion of taste, dictates the limitations of speech and circumscribes conduct with a dead-line.
Ambrose Bierce
A VIP area is nothing without not-so-important people.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The rich are poor without the poor's acknowledgment of money.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The definition of 'Employment' by an employer, and, that by an employee, are seldom the same.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Overrated is order.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Marriage converts a player into a polygamist.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Growing up is childish.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
She discovered, when it was too late, that she had mistaken the means for the end—that riches, rightly used, are instruments of happiness, but are not in themselves happiness.
Thomas Love Peacock
For an entrepreneur: wealth invites fame. For a celebrity: fame invites wealth.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
There really is no correlation between age and one’s bank balance. I’ve met wealthy boys and broke men.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Rich men use most of their money to get richer. Poor men use most of their money to look richer.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Unlike wealth, fame makes it easier for some men and more difficult for some to sleep around.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Poverty, like obesity, has the tendency to add at least ten years to the appearance of its victims, especially those who are over the age of twenty.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Other than the promise of life after death, nothing consoles the poor better than the fact that rich people are also subject to death.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Our thoughts, feelings and whereabouts: Food we dish up on plates called photographs and status updates; to feed Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.; beasts with insatiable appetites.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The only thing I hate about good people is that they like making their being good people bad people’s problem.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The pleasure or the benefit that the object of our deed derives from it is every now and then greater or even more important than the one we derive from the deed.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Every single good person is a good person for their own sake, not for the sake of humanity, not even for the sake of another human being.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
No single bad person regards themselves as a bad person.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
To label someone as selfless is symptomatic of having bought the preposterous claim that a human being can have great concern for other human beings and little concern for themselves, or that, when taken to extremes, a human being can have great concern for other human beings and absolutely no concern for themselves.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
It is humanly impossible to be selfless. As a matter of fact, human beings are inherently selfish.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
88% of what we call good songs aren’t really good. They merely remind us of a good time we once had.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Memories rob us of the present.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Life demands more thinking than remembering.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Most people are not really scared of death. They are merely terrified of being taken to a mortuary and/or being buried or cremated and/or being forgotten.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
This is only a record of broken and apparently unrelated memories, some of them as distinct and sequent as brilliant beads upon a thread, others remote and strange, having the character of crimson dreams with interspaces blank and black -- witch-fires glowing still and red in a great desolation.
Ambrose Bierce
Happy the man, whose wish and careA few paternal acres bound,Content to breathe his native airIn his own ground.
Alexander Pope
Employment frees man from the nightmare of unemployment, while it chains him to his employer’s dream.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
A salary is a tax employers pay, every four weeks, for putting an employee’s dream on hold.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
An 'Employee of the Month' is a titled given to someone who best helped someone else actualize their dream—in that particular month.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Giving up isn't a deed. It is 'discontinuity' of a deed.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
*Employee* is a label given to a creature that could not hold on to its dream.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Success is subjective. Your dream bank balance could be someone else’s nightmare.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Whoever that came up with the idea of people having to have 'a dream' sure knew how to keep these creatures called human beings preoccupied.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
To put a dreamer in their place isn’t dreaming.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Life is like music, it must be composed by ear, feeling and instinct, not by rule. Nevertheless one had better know the rules, for they sometimes guide in doubtful cases, though not often.
Samuel Butler
The rich take life one financial year at a time. The poor take life one meal at a time.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
If we were rational enough to judge what we are fed based on what we are fed, those in the business of selling us hope (i.e., public speakers, presidents, priests, etc.) wouldn't wear suits.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Generally, men prefer dating women they love over women who love them; women prefer the opposite.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
To buy women things, some men entertain. To entertain women, some men buy things.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
To a misogynist: To err is woman.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
To some women, a job plays the role of a man. To most women, a man plays the role of a job.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Most women have low standards. All they strive for is a highly paid man.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Females and boys are the only creatures that propose others for friendship. As for the rest of us, friendship sort of just happens.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Judge not the value of a friend by the number of boy- or girlfriends they helped you get. But by the number of books they’ve recommended to you.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The older you get, the easier it is for you to distinguish between your friends and people you are not seeing for the first time.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Friends are family members we have a choice over.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Hanging around people you’re smarter than is good for your ego. Hanging around people who are smarter than you is good for your intellect.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
To hear how great your friends think you are: fake your death, or, get married.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
To gain height, lose all your tall friends.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
After our loved one dies: we cry, not because they left; but because they left us.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Your friends love you for who you are. Your family loves you for what you are.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
If growing up means not seeing one’s family and friends on the regular—all in the name of paying the bills, then growing up is overrated.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana