Quotes by Satirists - Page 12

No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.
Stanisław Jerzy Lec
Not all ‘whites’ are racists. Not all racists are ‘white.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
A 'black' man who draws a 'black' person with big lips is called observant. A 'white' man who does the same is called a racist.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Sense isn’t democratic. A senseless opinion that’s advocated by 'the majority' is still senseless.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Sense isn’t democratic. An opinion uttered by 99 people does not necessarily make more sense than an opposing opinion that was uttered by one person.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Judges... are picked out from the most dextrous lawyers, who are grown old or lazy, and having been biased all their lives against truth or equity, are under such a fatal necessity of favoring fraud, perjury and oppression, that I have known several of them to refuse a large bribe from the side where justice lay, rather than injure the faculty by doing any thing unbecoming their nature in office.
Jonathan Swift
Laws are like cobwebs, which may catch small flies, but let wasps and hornets break through.
Jonathan Swift
Poetic justice, with her lifted scale,Where, in nice balance, truth with gold she weighs,And solid pudding against empty praise. Here she beholds the chaos dark and deep,Where nameless somethings in their causes sleep,Till genial Jacob, or a warm third day,Call forth each mass, a poem, or a play:How hints, like spawn, scarce quick in embryo lie,How new-born nonsense first is taught to cry.
Alexander Pope
An enlightened thinker does not waste his precious time thinking about what others think of what he thinks.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Sleeping is the most common attempt to temporarily escape reality.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Life is merely one very long day that routinely gets dark to give people a sensible excuse to keep their eyes closed for 8 hours.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
To teach, learn. To learn, teach.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Not everyone who has helped or is helping you wanted or wants to help you.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
What happens when the hitcher and the driver are equally murderous?
Steve Aylett
Employees leave where they work. Employers live where they work.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
To some people, employment is a distraction. To all entertainers, distraction is employment.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The difference between a retiring man and a used condom is that the condom isn’t given a golden watch to inspire the illusion that it still matters to whomever that has just used it.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee’s smoke break.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Give a typical employee a million, and, he is most likely to use the money to print his CV on fancier paper.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
An employee is sheep. His employer is the shepherd. His salary is grass.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Most employees are smarter than their employers. All employers are braver than their employees.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
A promotion is an illusionary solution out of an indebted employee’s pit of debt.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The more civilized people are, the more honorable working hard is to them. As a result, the more civilized we get, the less we live.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Absolute freedom is an illusion. For while an employed man might be free from starvation, he is a slave to his employer's financial aspirations, and, working-hours.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Belonging to the working class is the economy’s punishment for those who did what they were told to do in class.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Schooling is a manufacturing process whereby the raw material called curious boys is turned into products called obedient men.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The office’ is a cemetery of dreams.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some of today’s slaves sleep on king size beds.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Weekends are an employee’s parole.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Granted, not all uneducated women are prostitutes, and, not all prostitutes are uneducated. However, where building a family is employment, an uneducated woman's womb is her diploma.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Working overtime is an underpaid man’s salvation.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
School programs the schooled to type a CV. Life inspires the unschooled to type a business plan.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Education inspires the educated to think for themselves. Schooled programs the schooled to work for others.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Alcohol is evil … until your loved one gets employed by a brewery.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Retirement is a stage where an employer discards an employee that he cannot exploit further.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Old Age homes are civilization's dumpsites for human beings who it cannot exploit further.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Back then, work revolved around life. Today, life revolves around work.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
A diploma is a piece of paper that is used to acquire another piece of paper: an employment contract.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
If working-hours were natural, then employed men would only get erections between 5 p.m. and 9 a.m. … during the week.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
A celebrity's body is an advertiser's canvas.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Weekends are life’s gift to those who hate their jobs.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
We’re all geniuses. Life is merely overpopulated with singers who play drums, and, drummers who sing, to pay rent.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Self-employed people work where they live. Entrepreneurs live where they work.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
An education system is best belittled when the so-called educated gets hired by a company that’s owned by a so-called dropout.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Periods are a period when nature forces prostitutes to go on leave.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Once employed, the employed's friends are reduced to creatures that he only sees when he has a new problem, or, something new to show off.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
School is a factory where the raw material called student is turned into a product called employee.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Literacy makes man a victim of advertising. Education makes him a victim of employment.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
To drive a woman away, tell her that you are unemployed. To bore her, tell her that you are single.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Most self-employed people remain slaves to the employed’s working hours.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
You know you are capitalism’s ideal puppet (and that education betrayed you) when winning the lottery is your only chance to realizing financial freedom.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
If employment really cared about employees, people wouldn’t have to work until retirement comes to their rescue.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
If being seen as worthy of employing is the best that school does for the schooled, then school is overrated.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Self-employment killed the weekend.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
We are so used to working that not working is the new hard work.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
An employer’s fart is music to his employees’ ears.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Torn clothes are funny … until your dad gets fired.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
A vagina is an uneducated woman’s diploma.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Employment is slavery. Workers merely have a choice over where to serve their daily eight-hour sentence.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana