Quotes by Poets - Page 400

The aim of science is not to open the door to infinite wisdom, but to set a limit to infinite error.
Bertolt Brecht
If the bee disappeared off the face of the earth, man would only have four years left to live.
Maurice Maeterlinck
The doctor asked me recently how I was feeling within myself, I replied, “absolutely fine doctor, but I’m terribly lonely without myself.
Benny Bellamacina
I am a writer. Therefore. I am not sane.
Edgar Allan Poe
April Fools' is the only day to take people seriously.
Criss Jami
I'm never growing up, I'll just sit in the corner of time and sip my juice box petulantly and judge your terrible Hamlet adaptations.
Rhiannon McGavin
They say the crazies come out at night. I say the crazies come out during election year: Elections have the power to turn once seemingly normal people into certified loonies.
Criss Jami
Ah, well, when you explain it like that, it seems obvious," said Mudge. "Of course, it always seems obvious once it's been explained.
Theodora Goss
The first time I heard you laugh, I only wanted to say funny things so you would always be laughing. You know what happens to chocolate when you leave it out in the sun? I’m that unfortunate chocolate and you, you are the laughing sun. For this reason, I am offering myself to you not as a martyr or some selfless fool, but as a self-indulgent moth who actively pursues the light without much fear for the flame. The moth who revels in the heat and declares: Burn me.
Kamand Kojouri
[Or perhaps my friends should have realized that they shouldn't have left behind the FRICKING REASON FOR THEIR PROTEST!And that thought just cracked me up.]It was like my friends had walked over the backs of baby seals in order to get to the beach where they could protest against the slaughter of baby seals.
Sherman Alexie
POLONIUS My lord, the queen would speak with you, and presently.HAMLET Do you see yonder cloud that's almost in shape of a camel?POLONIUS By th'mass, and 'tis like a camel indeed.HAMLET Methinks it is like a weasel.POLONIUS It is backed like a weasel.HAMLET Or like a whale?POLONIUS Very like a whale.HAMLET Then I will come to my mother by and by. - They fool me to the top of my bent. - I will come by and by.
William Shakespeare
Listen, I'd rather lie naked in a plowed field under an incontinent horse for a week than have to read that paragraph again!
Diane Ackerman
Larry’s such a liar---He tells outrageous lies.He says he’s ninety-nine years oldInstead of only five.He says he lives up on the moon,He says that he once flew.He says he’s really six feet fourInstead of three feet two.He says he has a billion dollars‘Stead of just a dime.He says he rode a dinosaurBack in some distant time.He says his mother is the moonWho taught him magic spells.He says his father is the windThat rings the morning bells.He says he can take stones and rocksAnd turn them into gold.He says he can take burnin’ fireAnd turn it freezin’ cold.He said he’d send me seven elvesTo help me with my chores.But Larry’s such a liar---He only sent me four.
Shel Silverstein
Suits obviously had helped to promote bad government and he was as guilty as anyone for wearing them so steadfastly for twenty years. Of late he had become frightened of the government for the first time in his life, the way the structure of democracy had begun debasing people rather than enlivening them in their mutual concern. The structure was no longer concerned with the purpose for which it was designed, and a small part of the cause, Nordstrom thought, was probably that all politicians and bureaucrats wore suits.
Jim Harrison
Afore me! It is so very late,That we may call it early by and by.
William Shakespeare
she shall scant show well that now shows best.
William Shakespeare
Poncho was in a red mood slanging with rage and needed to cook himself out of it , while shoving handfuls of salted peanuts down his gullet and slurping ice cold Fanta
Saira Viola
Nay, 'twill be this hour ere I have done weeping. All the kind of the Launces have this very fault. I have received my proportion, like the prodigious son, and am going with Sir Proteus to the Imperial's court. I think Crab, my dog, be the sourest-natured dog that lives. My mother weeping, my father wailing, my sister crying, our maid howling, our cat wringing her hands, and all our house in a great perplexity, yet did not this cruel-hearted cur shed one tear. He is a stone, a very pebble stone, and has no more pity in him than a dog. A Jew would have wept to have seen our parting. Why, my grandam, having no eyes, look you, wept herself blind at my parting. Nay, I'll show you the manner of it. This shoe is my father. No, this left shoe is my father. No, no, this left shoe is my mother. Nay, that cannot be so neither. Yes, it is so, it is so -- it hath the worser sole. This shoe with the hole in it is my mother, and this my father. A vengeance on't! There 'tis. Now, sir, this staff is my sister, for, look you, she is as white as a lily and as small as a wand. This hat is Nan, our maid. I am the dog. No, the dog is himself, and I am the dog -- O, the dog is me, and I am myself. Ay, so, so. Now come I to my father: 'Father, your blessing.' Now should not the shoe speak a word for weeping. Now should I kiss my father -- well, he weeps on. Now come I to my mother. O, that she could speak now like a wood woman! Well, I kiss her -- why, there 'tis: here's my mother's breath up and down. Now come I to my sister; mark the moan she makes. Now the dog all this while sheds not a tear nor speaks a word!
William Shakespeare
By the time I'm nine I know the world is a dangerous place.  I've heard whispers about razorblades in apples, about Charlie Manson and his family.  But no one is offering any clear information.
Nick Flynn
Asia is an entertainment, Europe is a dream, America is an imprisonment and Rest is a nightmare.
Santosh Kalwar
Mother, you have my father much offended.
William Shakespeare
I have a funny side. I have a soft and sympathetic side. I have a serious side, and a seriously romantic side. I have lots of sides; it's the main course I haven't quite figured out.
Richelle E. Goodrich
Whenever you feel like feeling like a devil's advocate, Bible-thump. That, in a worldly world, is the great irony and satire of evangelism.
Criss Jami
I claim neither liberalism nor conservatism - one tends to be airheaded while the other tends to be brickheaded.
Criss Jami
The only activity a cynic will find contagious is yawning, that is, with other people, at other people.
Criss Jami
The ones who constantly make us laugh are the hardest of friends to know - for comedians are the caricatures among us.
Criss Jami
I am not sure if women are attracted to genius. Can you imagine the wise wizard winning the woman over the gallant swordsman? It seems rather otherworldly in more ways than one.
Criss Jami
What early tongue so sweet saluteth me?
William Shakespeare
I beg your pardon I am drunk without a drink. English wine & words are vulnerable to every man.
Santosh Kalwar
HAMLET I will receive it sir with all diligence of spirit. Put your bonnet to his right use, 'tis for the head.OSRIC I thank you lordship, it is very hot.HAMLET No believe me, 'tis very cold, the wind is northerly.OSRIC It is indifferent cold my lord, indeed.HAMLET But yet methinks it is very sultry and hot for my complexion.OSRIC Exceedingly my lord, it is very sultry, as 'twere - I cannot tell how. But my lord, his majesty bade me signify to you that a has laid a great wager on your head. Sir, this is the matter -HAMLET I beseech you remember.(Hamlet moves him to put on his hat)
William Shakespeare
I'll be supposed upon a book, his face is the worst thing about him.
William Shakespeare
When it comes to being famous, you’re usually the last to know, and the first to deny it. Unless you were already famous in your head. In which case, party on, Wayne! Party on, Garth!
Carroll Bryant
The logic behind patriotism is a mystery. At least a man who believes that his own family or clan is superior to all others is familiar with more than 0.000003% of the people involved.
Criss Jami
All I wanted for Christmas was a New Years Eve party that I would never forget. Too bad I got too drunk to remember it.
Carroll Bryant
How am I going to explain to my kids one day that I can't buy them a happy meal because the toy will make them fat?
Carroll Bryant
Psychobabble attempts to redefine the entire English language just to make a correct statement incorrect. Psychology is the study of why someone would try to do this.
Criss Jami
Unless philosophy can make a Juliet,Displant a town, reverse a prince’s doom,It helps not, it prevails not.
William Shakespeare
What goes up must come down. Which is why we invented Viagra, to make it stay up a little longer.
Carroll Bryant
STYLE IS NOT HOW YOU WRITE IT IS HOW YOUDO NOT WRITE LIKE ANYONE ELSE
Charles Ghigna
There are several theories on sex and all of them are lies.
Santosh Kalwar
The only difference between me and a famous writer is that I do not want to be famous.
Santosh Kalwar
Faculty Meetings are held whenever the need to show off is combinedwith the imperative of accomplishing nothing.
Alexander Theroux
May a man live well-, and long-enough, to leave many joyful widows behind him.
Roman Payne
Slap-stick comedy is really funny, unless you're the one getting slapped with the stick.
Carroll Bryant
The lot of the brideto be wed before beddesired until rotten.The lot of the authorto be read before bedadmired then forgotten.
Roman Payne
Matt would stare at Andrew for 10 minutes. It's depressing that people are different. Everyone should be one person, who should then kill itself in hand-to-hand combat.
Tao Lin
What is a quote? A quote (cognate with quota) is a cut, a section, a slice of someone's orange. You suck the slice, toss the rind, skate away.
Anne Carson
By the light," he said, when he had mastered himself. "I think that beats singing a lullaby to a stormdog for simplicity and economy, Maerad. But I wish I had known that you simply had to blow at Hulls to get rid of them. It would have saved me a few scars.
Alison Croggon
Somebody dies and people eat your food. Funny how that works.
Sherman Alexie
One should never give up on hope. Unless that's the name of the girl who cheated on you in which case, yeah, give her up.
Carroll Bryant
I feel as though whenever I create something, my Mr. Hyde wakes up in the middle of the night and starts thrashing it. I sometimes love it the next morning, but other times it is an abomination.
Criss Jami
If I were to vote, I would intentionally vote for the goofiest candidate. It is my theory that when the people can outwit the leader, the more respected their voices will be.
Criss Jami
I will make thee think thy swan a crow.
William Shakespeare
Let your eyes talk, mouth listens and ear sleeps.
Santosh Kalwar
If the Lord hasn't got a boyfriend lined up for me to marry, that's his business.
Barbara Kingsolver
The small amount of foolery wise men have makes a great show.
William Shakespeare
Friends are like bras, attached near your heart for support. Foes are like panties, deported, every now and then, when they get dirty.
Santosh Kalwar
He who laughs last ... just didn't get the joke.
Carroll Bryant
Fifteen men on the Dead Man's Chest Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum! Drink and the devil had done for the rest Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!
Robert Louis Stevenson
How art thou out of breath when thou hast breathTo say to me that thou art out of breath?
William Shakespeare