Quotes by Columnists - Page 9

Show me a woman who is prouder of her clean kitchen than of her collection of lingerie and I'll show you a woman with enlarged pores.
Cynthia Heimel
pretty girls behave better when you ignore them.
Chetan Bhagat
The word “future” and females is a dangerous combination.
Chetan Bhagat
Political figures who talk a lot about liberty and freedom invariably turn out to mean the freedom to not pay taxes and discriminate based on race; freedom to hold different ideas and express them, not so much.
Paul Krugman
Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.
James Bovard
Kakimi chertyami oni viigrali holodnuyu voinu?"This translates roughly to: "How the hell did these people win the Cold War?
Dave Barry
...but I guess it's better for people to shut up rather than rather than say something nasty. -ONE NIGHT @ THE CALL CENTER Chapter 1 page 22
Chetan Bhagat
I preach that odd defiant melancholy that sees the dreadful loneliness of the human soul and the pitiful disaster of human life as ever redeemable and redeemed by compassion, friendship and love.
John Derbyshire
The world can be a great big scary place,and finding a soul mate is no simple task.But if you’re lucky enough to do just that,sometimes that’s all that you need: one personto belong to—who also belongs to you.
Rachel C. Weingarten
When we refer to 'the biblical approach to economics' or the biblical response to politics' or 'biblical womanhood,' we're using the Bible as a weapon disguised as an adjective.
Rachel Held Evans
Invariably, I will be referred to Gleason Archer's massive Encyclopedia of Bible Difficulties, a heavy volume that seeks to provide the reader with sound explanations for every conceivable puzzle found within the Bible - from whether God approved of Rahab's lie, to where Cain got his wife. (Note to well-meaning apologists: it's not always the best idea to present a skeptic with a five-hundred-page book listing hundreds of apparent contradictions in Scripture when the skeptic didn't even know that half of them existed before you recommended it.)
Rachel Held Evans
You can't get too far into the Gospels without noticing that Jesus made a pretty lousy apologist.
Rachel Held Evans
My interpretation can only be as inerrant as I am, and that's good to keep in mind.
Rachel Held Evans
Books, in the plural lose their solidity of substance and become a gas, filling all available space.
John Derbyshire
That's the thing about a great book. Every time you read it, it's different, because you're different. You've changed since the last time you picked it up, things have happened to you.
Jessica Zafra
In this modern day, when only what we see is allowed to have certainity, and when scientific data seems to hold the trump card for truth, when only what can be measured exists, love defies all these strictures and dances joyfully before the eyes of human beings, teasing them with the promise of the unknown.
Shelina Zahra Janmohamed
MakeNew FrNdS But Keep D oLd , One iS silVerThe Other is Gold.
Chetan Bhagat
Be able to go shopping for a bathing suit and not become depressed afterward.
Marilyn Vos Savant
We sat on the floor for dinner. Ananya's father passed me a banana leaf. I wondered if i had to eat it or wipe my hands with it.
Chetan Bhagat
We must eschew anything trivial. We must embrace all that is frivolous.... Trivial things take up all your time and dull your senses, whereas frivolity is meaningful, profound, worth living and dying for.... If we devote our lives to frivolity, the world will be a far, far better place. Humanity will be better able to fulfill its primary goal, that of having a good time.
Cynthia Heimel
maybe somebody finally shot the dog.
Dave Barry
We don't shoot somebody soon, I'm gonna forget how
Dave Barry
Took me a while to get to the point today, but that is because I did not know what the point was when I started.
William Safire
Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.
Dave Barry
In this modern day, when only what we see is allowed to have certainity, and when scientific data seems to hold the trump card for truth, when only what can be measured exists, love defies all these strictures and dances joyfully before the eyes of human beings, teasing them with the promise of the unknown.
Shelina Zahra Janmohamed
MakeNew FrNdS But Keep D oLd , One iS silVerThe Other is Gold.
Chetan Bhagat
Be able to go shopping for a bathing suit and not become depressed afterward.
Marilyn Vos Savant
We sat on the floor for dinner. Ananya's father passed me a banana leaf. I wondered if i had to eat it or wipe my hands with it.
Chetan Bhagat
We must eschew anything trivial. We must embrace all that is frivolous.... Trivial things take up all your time and dull your senses, whereas frivolity is meaningful, profound, worth living and dying for.... If we devote our lives to frivolity, the world will be a far, far better place. Humanity will be better able to fulfill its primary goal, that of having a good time.
Cynthia Heimel
maybe somebody finally shot the dog.
Dave Barry
We don't shoot somebody soon, I'm gonna forget how
Dave Barry
Took me a while to get to the point today, but that is because I did not know what the point was when I started.
William Safire
Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.
Dave Barry
Forgiving doesn't make the person who hurt you feel better, it makes you feel better.
Chetan Bhagat
In my opinion, defining intelligence is much like defining beauty, and I don’t mean that it’s in the eye of the beholder. To illustrate, let’s say that you are the only beholder, and your word is final. Would you be able to choose the 1000 most beautiful women in the country? And if that sounds impossible, consider this: Say you’re now looking at your picks. Could you compare them to each other and say which one is more beautiful? For example, who is more beautiful— Katie Holmes or Angelina Jolie? How about Angelina Jolie or Catherine Zeta-Jones? I think intelligence is like this. So many factors are involved that attempts to measure it are useless. Not that IQ tests are useless. Far from it. Good tests work: They measure a variety of mental abilities, and the best tests do it well. But they don’t measure intelligence itself.
Marilyn Vos Savant
I m human, I m not perfect. Although, I make mistakes all the time.
Chetan Bhagat
The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida.
Dave Barry
Sex education in the modern manner has been well-described as plumbing for hedonists.
George F. Will
Health care and education are too important NOT to be left to the free market.
Kevin D. Williamson
I don't define success by how much money someone makes. I don't define success by how many trophies or plaques or awards someone has.I don't define it by membership in exclusive clubs or the ability to name-drop about someone's famous friends.I don't define it by how many luxury cars or opulent homes someone might own or how many sumptuous vacations they might taken in exotic locales all over the
Celia Rivenbark
In the years preceding the Civil War in America, Christian ministers wrote nearly half of all defenses of slavery.
Rachel Held Evans
The oft-cited charge that belief in God and religion has led to more wars and evil than anything else is as untrue as it is widely believed. Secular movements in the twentieth century alone killed and enslaved more people than any other movement in any century in history.
Dennis Prager
Wilhelm Dilthey puts it rather starkly, "Jesus came announcing the Kingdom of God, but what appeared was the church.
Rachel Held Evans
Seems to me that for you, evangelicalism is like the boyfriend you broke up with two years ago, but whose Facebook page you still check compulsively.
Rachel Held Evans
Jehovah's Witness are welcomed into my home...You gotta respect anybody who gets all dressed up in Sunday clothes and goes door-to-door on days so hot their high heels sink a half-inch into the pavement.The trick is to do all the talking yourself. Pretty soon, they'll look at their watches and say, 'Speaking of end times, wouldja look at what time it is now!
Celia Rivenbark
Any given censor is a fool. The very fact that he is a censor indicates that.
Heywood Broun
We lose everything because everything remains except us. And therefore any form of posterity may be an affront, and perhaps any memory, as well.
Javier Marías
Not long ago, I advertised for perverse rules of grammar, along the lines of "Remember to never split an infinitive" and "The passive voice should never be used." The notion of making a mistake while laying down rules ("Thimk," "We Never Make Misteaks") is highly unoriginal, and it turns out that English teachers have been circulating lists of fumblerules for years. As owner of the world's largest collection, and with thanks to scores of readers, let me pass along a bunch of these never-say-neverisms:* Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read. * Don't use no double negatives.* Use the semicolon properly, always use it where it is appropriate; and never where it isn't.* Reserve the apostrophe for it's proper use and omit it when its not needed.* Do not put statements in the negative form.* Verbs has to agree with their subjects.* No sentence fragments.* Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.* Avoid commas, that are not necessary.* If you reread your work, you will find on rereading that a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.* A writer must not shift your point of view.* Eschew dialect, irregardless.* And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.* Don't overuse exclamation marks!!!* Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.* Writers should always hyphenate between syllables and avoid un-necessary hyph-ens.* Write all adverbial forms correct.* Don't use contractions in formal writing.* Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.* It is incumbent on us to avoid archaisms.* If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.* Steer clear of incorrect forms of verbs that have snuck in the language.* Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixed metaphors.* Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.* Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.* Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.* If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, resist hyperbole.* Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration.* Don't string too many prepositional phrases together unless you are walking through the valley of the shadow of death.* Always pick on the correct idiom.* "Avoid overuse of 'quotation "marks."'"* The adverb always follows the verb.* Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; seek viable alternatives.", November 4, 1979; later also published in book form)
William Safire
Do not put statements in the negative form.And don't start sentences with a conjunction.If you reread your work, you will find on rereading that agreat deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all.De-accession euphemisms.If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.Last, but not least, avoid cliches like the plague.
William Safire
Panicky despair is an underrated element of writing.
Dave Barry
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you can repeat words! And they don't even have to be true!
Dave Barry
Scripture doesn’t speak of people who found God. Scripture speaks of people who walked with God.
Rachel Held Evans
Faith is something you take a day at a time, not something you figured out at the start
Rachel Held Evans
Church isn’t about you! It’s about worshipping Jesus. Instead of being consumers, let’s go to church and ask what we can give Jesus because of all he has given us.
Rachel Held Evans
There is not a corner of this world that God has abandoned.
Rachel Held Evans
I played my role as the good Christian girl and spared everyone the drama of an argument. But that decision to remain silent split me in two. It convinced me that I could never really be myself in church. That I had to check my heart and mind at the door.
Rachel Held Evans
Turns out, I wasn't the only one struggling with doubt. I wasn't the only one questioning my church's position on homosexuality and gender roles, and a whole host of other issues. I wasn't the only one who felt lonely on Sunday mornings.
Rachel Held Evans
...and yet the idea is hard to accept, it's so hard to succeed in making something happen, even what's been decided on and planned out, not even the will of a god seems forceful enough to manage it, if our own will is made in its semblance. It may be, rather, that nothing is ever unmixed and the thirst for totality is never quenched, perhaps because it is a false yearning. Nothing is whole or of a single piece, everything is fractured and evenomed, veins of peace run through the body of war and hatred insinuates itself into love and compassion, there is truce amid the quagmire of bullets and a bullet amid the revelries, nothing can bear to be unique or prevail or be dominant and everything needs fissures and cracks, needs it negation at the same time as its existence. And nothing is known with certainty and everything is told figuratively.
Javier Marías
What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
Dave Barry
Marriages maybe made in heaven, but a lot of the details have to be worked out here on earth.
Gloria Pitzer