Quotes by Cartoonists - Page 3

I like the way you touch me.""I like to touch you... That works out for us, huh?
Jeffrey Brown
Gilded palace of Flying BurritosExcellent Nouveau Mexican CuisineWe all got to wear Swank-Ass Nudie SuitsI should have known it was a lousy pipe dreamOhhh, Ohhh, what an awesome jobOhhh, Ohhh, what do I do now??Ohh, Ohhhhh, it's like I've been robbedSpent the last of my paychequeAnd I'm feelin' pretty downnnnn!!
Bryan Lee O'Malley
Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear so don't look and they'll stay farther away than you expect they would.
Brian Spellman
Life has its sunshine and its rain, sir... its days and its nights... its peaks and its valleys...
Charles M. Schulz
A journalist who says, 'Well, I pissed off both sides--I must be doing something right,' is probably fooling himself and, worse, he may be fooling the reader. Balance should not be a smokescreen for laziness.
Joe Sacco
The journalist must strive to find out what is going on and tell it, not neuter the truth in the name of equal time.
Joe Sacco
He could sell snow to an Eskimo. --Overheard in a Real Estate Office
Bob Eckstein
I'm about to start reading it again, because what good is a story you only want to read once?
Bill Willingham
Let’s talk about rape for a moment. Rape is not what George Lucas did to your childhood. Rape is not what happens when a sports team beats another sports team by a wide margin. Rape is not what happens when your electric bill is higher this month than it was last month. Rape is when a person violates another person in the most despicable, degrading way imaginable and among the myriad of terrible things humans can do to one another, rape is among the worst. I think the casual misappropriation of the concept of rape extending all the way to its widespread comical usage is disgusting even by Internet standards. Off my chest.
Jeffrey Rowland
Psychoanalytic insight, Miller seems to suggest, is itself a pathological symptom.
Alison Bechdel
When I was, like thirteen I thought it would be really cool to be a prostitute... I Thought It was like handsome guys would take you out on these romantic dates and you´d fuck them and then they´d pay you...
Daniel Clowes
I curse when I get really upset. Letting off steam that way makes me feel a little bit better. I've been through a lot, but I have never had the urge to go postal. I thank fuck for that.
Oliver Markus Malloy
Time is like a zombie. It moves slow, but all of a sudden 'BOO! Got your brains!
Jennie Breeden
Oops! We thought he had a gun!’ So you shot me in the back three times ’cause you thought I had a gun? I was gonna sue, but they said they was gonna kill me. I was 18 years old, I didn’t have nobody, I didn’t have all this. They kept pickin’ me up, kept lockin’ my ass up, beating me, until I dropped the lawsuit. When I dropped the lawsuit, that’s when everything stopped. That’s what the fuck happened to me. I was terrorized by some terrorists.
Jeff Smith
It's our very capacity for self-consciousness that makes us self-destructive!
Alison Bechdel
Inside the (Domestic) Sphere women did things which weren't too demanding like childcare, scrubbing the floor, washing the sheets and curtains, sewing on buttons, and coalmining.
Jacky Fleming
What happened yesterday was obviously a mistake, and it will never be spoken of again. Goodbye forever.
Faith Erin Hicks
It's a city where everbody mutinies but no one deserts.
Harry Hershfield
He always accuses me of trying to look'cool', I was like, 'everybody tries to look cool, I just happen to be successful.
Daniel Clowes
There is a place where the sidewalk endsAnd before the street begins,And there the grass grows soft and white,And there the sun burns crimson bright,And there the moon-bird rests from his flightTo cool in the peppermint wind.Let us leave this place where the smoke blows blackAnd the dark street winds and bends.Past the pits where the asphalt flowers growWe shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow,And watch where the chalk-white arrows goTo the place where the sidewalk ends.Yes we'll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,And we'll go where the chalk-white arrows go,For the children, they mark, and the children, they knowThe place where the sidewalk ends.
Shel Silverstein
I married my love in the springtime, / but by summer he’d locked me away. / He’d murdered me dead by the autumn, / and by winter I was naught but decay
Emily Carroll
I'm here because all fairy tales take place in the woods, King Cole, even those that don't.
Bill Willingham
...the Princess Saralinda thought she saw, as people often think they see, on clear and windless days, the distant shining shores of Ever After. Your guess is quite as good as mine (there are a lot of things that shine) but I have always thought she did, and I will always think so.
James Thurber
I'm the old type setter who gets his blood poisoned from the ink.
Walt Holcombe
Maxim 31: Only cheaters prosper.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
Howard Tayler
My secret to maintaining a youthful appearance? Immaturity.
Brian Spellman
I finally decided what I want to be when I grow up - late.
Brian Spellman
I was accused of always acting superior. Always means being, not acting.
Brian Spellman
- ...before I was going to college, my secret plan was to one day not tell anybody and just get on some bus to some random city and just move there and become this totally different person. - Then what? - ...and not come back until I had totally become this person... I used to think about it all the time... - I don't get it... - That's because you don't uterlly loathe yourself
Daniel Clowes
It's not as if any of us wants to live like this, any more than any one person wants to be part of a traffic jam or stadium trampling or the hierarchy of cruelty in high school; it's something we collectively force one another to do.
Tim Kreider
The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.
Kin Hubbard
Many of the younger generation know my name in a vague way and connect it with grotesque inventions, but don't believe that I ever existed as a person. They think I am a nonperson, just a name that signifies a tangled web of pipes or wires or strings that suggest machinery. My name to them is like a spiral staircase, veal cutlets, barber's itch—terms that give you an immediate picture of what they mean.
Rube Goldberg
Patty: I'll be the good guy.Shermy: I'll be the bad guy.Patty: What are you going to be, Charlie Brown?Charlie Brown: I'll be sort of in-between; I'll be a hypocrite!
Charles M. Schulz
Life is full of surprises, but never when you need one.
Bill Watterson
They're holding flushes of face cards, and I think we're the pot.
Howard Tayler
METAPHOR: A tightly fitting suit of metal, generally tin, which entirely encloses the wearer, both impeding free movement and preventing emotional expression and/or social contact.
Chris Ware
Maxim 33:If you're leaving tracks, you're being followed.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
Howard Tayler
If television's a babysitter, the Internet is a drunk librarian who won't shut up.
Dorothy Gambrell
At my place I can really tell when winter has come.. It's when sunlight is pathetically crawling in my courtyard, incapable of reaching my window anymore.
Boulet
All alone! Whether you like it or not, alone is something you'll be quite a lot!
Dr. Seuss
I recently forced myself to read a book on quantum physics, just to try and learn something new. I was confused by the middle of the first sentence and it all went downhill from there. The only thing I can remember learning is that a parallel universe can theoretically be contained on the head of a needle. I don't really know what that means, but I am now more careful handling needles.
Stephan Pastis
I have all these great genes, but they're recessive. That's the problem here.
Bill Watterson
I have always thought foreigners with their unusual skin colours, mad languages and ignorant customs absolutely hilarious, and I think it's a shame that in recent years its become unfashionable to poke fun at them. I certainly don't think they themselves ever minded it.
Arthur Mathews
I didn't set out to do a gay comic, but given the current political and religious climate in this country, I feel it is important as a gay person, and a Christian, to create stories with humor and honesty.
Paige Braddock
‘Jane’s World’ has pushed the boundaries for mainstream comic strips: girls have kissed, punched each other, have been abducted by aliens, taken steamy showers together and turned into monkeys. Jane has been through a lot and I love her for it.
Paige Braddock
Gay rights aren't predicated on being born gay or having the right gene. Gay rights are predicated on having choice and consent. If you're a man and you can find another man that consents to have sex with you, it's the consent that gives you the right to have sex with him. Genetics are irrelevant when it comes to sexual rights. Just as gay rights are based on choice and consent, so are prostitution rights. All sexual rights are based on choice and consent.
Chester Brown
The more you read the more places you will go,the more places you go the more things you will learn.
Dr. Seuss
He who lives by the sword shall die by the sword ... unless he's a general.
Brian Spellman
Spare the rod and spoil the Memorial Day rotisserie.
Brian Spellman
design is so important because chaos is so hard
Jules Feiffer
You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.
Bill Watterson
I say there is no darkness but ignorance," said William Shakespeare. How would he know, he knew everything?
Brian Spellman
If anybody tries to penetrate the past with the knife of the present will always act in vain. The past is invulnerable. Such attempts can only cause the present or the future to bleed." - Gregor Brand
Simon Schwartz
My last penny! I think I'll squander it on myself. I never feel badly about spending money my dad has earned honestly! I can't decide whether I should buy a balloon or a gumball. A gumball would taste mighty good, but a balloon would be a lot more fun... I'll take a balloon! Sooner or later in life a person has to learn to make decisions! (Sees someone with a different color balloon) Gee, I wish I'd bought a RED balloon.
Charles M. Schulz
Being crazy isn't enough.
Dr. Seuss
If you were standing in the path of the beam, you would obviously die pretty quickly. You wouldn't really die of anything, in the traditional sense. You would just stop being biology and start being physics.
Randall Munroe
Whenever the sun is shining, I feel obligated to play outside!
Charles M. Schulz
I know it is wet and the sun is not sunny, but we can have lots of good fun that is funny.
Dr. Seuss
Life is like the ocean. You can either be the ball floating on the waves, or make your own waves.
Oliver Gaspirtz
Maxim 2: A sergeant in motion outranks a lieutenant who doesn't know what's going on.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
Howard Tayler