Quotes by Cartoonists - Page 2

Men know that most women want to have an emotional connection with someone before they sleep with them. Men know that a lot of women think it's romantic to be friends first, and then the friendship blossoms into a relationship. Men know that they have to jump through all these hoops first, before they can get laid. And that's really all romance and courtship is to a man: hoops he has to jump through to get laid.
Oliver Markus
Does that mean that if we shave all the Ob'enn they'll be nice?
Howard Tayler
Maxim 6: If violence wasn't your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
Howard Tayler
The Tausennigan Ob'enn warlords look like cuddly teddy-bears?""Yes, they do, and they'd cheerfully exterminate your entire race for making that observation!""I guess that explains their rich military history, then.
Howard Tayler
I don't want a new purpose. I want what's mine. I want my birthright.
Faith Erin Hicks
It's weird how I am constantly surprised by the passage of time when it's literally the most predictable thing in the Universe.
Randall Munroe
Your greatest accomplishments, no matter how impressive you think them to be, are some else's worst nightmare. Your most prized possession is another man's disgusting chunk of trash. Be careful what you brag about.
Jessica Hagy
Being faithful and monogamous is not natural for human beings. It takes work. Deep down we all know that. We have all been tempted to stray at some point or another. Even when it was only a fleeting thought and we didn't act on it. Every time we acknowledge that someone of the opposite sex is "attractive" or "sexy" we are doing nothing other than pointing out that they would be a suitable mate. Not acting on that natural impulse to want to mate with a viable mating partner requires a conscious decision. It's a constant struggle between what your body wants, and what the civilized part of your brain says you should do, in order to avoid the negative consequences of cheating on your spouse and ruining your long-term relationship. That's why affairs, and extra-marital sex, are often referred to as "a moment of weakness.
Oliver Markus
It's like killing each other is the only thing we know how to do.
Faith Erin Hicks
You have two things of value: your monastery and your people. Translate the book for me, and I'll let you keep one. Which will it be?
Faith Erin Hicks
Heaven is a place where all the dogs you've ever loved come to greet you.
Oliver Gaspirtz
I want things to change in The Nameless City. I want the people in the city to finally have some influence over its future. We've never had that before. If there's something I can do to make this council of nations happen, I want to know about it. Don't tell me not to be worried. Tell me how to help.
Faith Erin Hicks
I want to hurt, so I can heal.I'm not unhappy.I'm just busy.I'm interested.And that's okay.
Matthew Inman
Can you be happy with the movies, and the ads, and the clothes in the stores, and the doctors, and the eyes as you walk down the street all telling you there is something wrong with you? No. You cannot be happy. Because, you poor darling baby, you believe them.
Katherine Dunn
How many slams in an old screen door? Depends how loud you shut it. How many slices in a bread? Depends how thin you cut it. How much good inside a day? Depends how good you live 'em. How much love inside a friend? Depends how much you give 'em.
Shel Silverstein