Quotes by Cartoonists - Page 2

I try to take one day at a time but sometimes several days attack me at once.
Ashleigh Brilliant
Some folks can look so busy doing nothin' that they seem indispensable.
Kin Hubbard
Her own mother lived the latter years of her life in the horrible suspicion that electricity was dripping invisibly all over the house.
James Thurber
Humour is emotional chaos remembered in tranquillity.
James Thurber
A humorist is a man who feels bad but who feels good about it.
Don Herold
If we could all hear one another's prayers God might be relieved of some of his burden.
Ashleigh Brilliant
There is no greater loan than a sympathetic ear.
Frank Tyger
Your medical tests are in. You're short fat and bald.
Tom Wilson
It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness. Poverty and wealth have both failed.
Kin Hubbard
My life has no purpose no direction no aim no meaning and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?
Charles M. Schulz
It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness poverty and wealth have both failed.
Kin Hubbard
Gossip is vice enjoyed vicariously - the sweet subtle satisfaction without the risk.
Kin Hubbard
Father expected a good deal of God. He didn't actually accuse God of inefficiency but when he prayed his tone was loud and angry like that of a dissatisfied guest in a carelessly managed hotel.
Clarence Day
Unhappiness is in not knowing what we want and killing ourselves to get it.
Don Herold
The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.
Kin Hubbard
Nobody ever forgets where he buried a hatchet.
Kin Hubbard
Of what are you afraid my child? inquired the kindly teacher. "Oh sir! the flowers they are wild " replied the timid creature.
Peter Newell
Big sisters are the crabgrass in the lawn of life.
Charles Schulz
Babies are such a nice way to start people.
Don Herold
Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
Michael Leunig
The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.
Kin Hubbard
We have met the enemy and he is us.
Walt Kelly
Creatures whose main spring is curiosity will enjoy the accumulating of fact far more than the pausing at times to reflect on those facts.
Clarence Day
It's a naive domestic burgundy without any breeding but I think you'll be amused by its presumption.
James Thurber
The life of the creative man is led directed and controlled by boredom. Avoiding boredom is one of our most important purposes.
Saul Steinberg
Doodling is the brooding of the hand.
Saul Steinberg
Let us not look back in anger nor forward in fear but around us in awareness.
James Thurber
I'm sixty-five but if there were fifteen months in every year I'd only be forty-eight.
James Thurber
The egg it is the source of all To everyone's ancestral hall.
Clarence Day
America once had the clarity of a pioneer axe.
Robert Osborn
I am 65 and I guess that puts me in with the geriatrics. But if there were 15 months in every year I'd only be 48. That's the trouble with us. We number everything. Take women for example I think they deserve to have more than 12 years between the ages of 28 and 40.
James Thurber
If it is your time love will track you down like a cruise missile.
Lynda Barry
The real world is not easy to live in. It is rough it is slippery. Without the most clear-eyed adjustments we fall and get crushed.
Clarence Day
It's pretty hard to be efficient without being obnoxious.
Kin Hubbard
Americans care more about the rights of animals than about what happens to us!
Joe Sacco
I fall in love with any girl who smells of library paste.
Charles M. Schulz
He wasted his wishes on wishing.
Shel Silverstein
We have this history of impossible solutions to insoluble problems.
Will Eisner
Feed a squirrel and he'll leave you alone every day.
Brian Spellman
Our archaeological ancestry lost hair while growing sweat glands to reduce panting in the hot African sun. One outcome evolved the origin of our speech. Another conquered our ability to shut the hell up and listen. Now? Politicians grunting "On the Origin of Speeches" past one another.
Brian Spellman
With good morality first candidates you'll get bad candor, bad ethics, bad loyalty and bad morality - lastly bad odor will surface to save the day if you maintain good optimism like I do.
Brian Spellman
A good night's sleep counts healthy sheep.
Brian Spellman
Give a boy - ANY boy - enough time, and he WILL eventually pick his nose!
Lincoln Peirce
You are you. Now, isn't that pleasant?
Dr. Seuss
Before she closed the door, she hit me with this one: "I feel like it's November first," she said, "and I'm that discarded jack-o'-lantern whose heart and guts are splattered all over the boulevard of broken promises.""And a good night to you, too," I said.
Rick Detorie
I chiefly concern myself with those who seldom get a hearing, & I don't feel it is incumbent on me to balance their voices with the well-crafted apologetics of the powerful. The powerful are generally excellently served by the mainstream media or propaganda organs. The powerful should be quoted, yes, but to measure their pronouncements against the truth, not to obscure it.
Joe Sacco
Taking a single letter from the alphaber," he said, "should make life simpler.""I don't see why. Take the F from life and you have lie. It's adding a letter to simple that makes it simpler. Taking a letter from hoarder makes it harder.
James Thurber
Failure is just success rounded down, my friend!
Ryan North
A distinctive appearance and a simple set of characteristics lead to an extremely flexible brand. (pg. 38)
Woodrow Phoenix
I can't name just one example. Then there's only one.
Brian Spellman
We contradict all for which we stand for we all stand for the lie the whole lie and nothing but the lie so help save our lying asses.
Brian Spellman
Stop telling such outlandish tales. Stop turning minnows into whales.
Dr. Seuss
Realistically, most people have poor filters for sorting truth from fiction, and there’s no objective way to know if you’re particularly good at it or not. Consider the people who routinely disagree with you. See how confident they look while being dead wrong? That’s exactly how you look to them.
Scott Adams
I am not a conqueror. I am nothing like you.
Faith Erin Hicks
Whenever you go with the cheaper option, you end up regretting it
Jeff Kinney
I'm not issuing some naïve plea for civility or bipartisanship here, or pretending that the opposing sides in this fight are intellectually equal. We have irreconcilable visions of the kind of country we want this to be: some of us would just like to live in Canada with better weather; others want something more like Iran with Jesus. My cruelest hope for the Tea Party is that one of their candidates wins the nomination for the presidency and they implode of their hubristic stupidity. But at least when I hear about them now, instead of reflexively picturing some braying ignoramus like Michele Bachmann, I try to remember that Matt [a friend of the Author's, ed] is out in that crowd somewhere, too. God agreed to spare Sodom if ten good men could be found within its walls (Abraham had to haggle him down from fifty). He ended up napalming those perverts anyway but the basic principle of sparing the sinner for the sake of the righteous, or the shithead for the sake of the basically okay, remains sound.
Tim Kreider
Running a race assigns a point to a sport that often feels very pointless. It's an exuberant payoff to months of tedium. It's a way of crafting an end boss for a particularly cumbersome video game. It's a fun, monstrous reason to keep putting one foot in front of the other. So, do yourself a favor: go build a monster.
Matthew Inman
I'm more of a sprinter than a marathoner when it comes to many aspects of life. For example, when I'm running. Over short distances--up to two yards--I can run faster than cheap panty hose on an itchy porcupine. But over long distances, I'm not so impressive.I try to compensate for my lack of long-distance endurance by having good form. I'm told that my running style is quite majestic. That's probably because I learned to run by watching nature films in which leopards chased frightened zebras. Now when I run, I open my eyes real wide and let my tongue slap the side of my face. If you saw it, you'd be saying, "That's very majestic." And then you'd run like a frightened zebra. That's why my homeowners association voted to ask me to do my jogging with a pillowcase over my head.
Scott Adams
Mom lied. The crust is the shittiest part.
Brian Spellman
When I was at the University of California at Berkeley, I went to some classes that must have had more than four hundred students in them. I almost always sat in the far back of the auditorium so I could read the newspaper. I remember that I stayed late one day to ask the professor a question, and when I got up to him, all I could think to myself was, 'So this is what the professor looks like.
Stephan Pastis