Quotes by Cartoonists - Page 10

Positive disintegration is the sublimation of suffering
Martijn Budel
Some guys like to undermine a girl's self-esteem with little verbal jabs. Eventually it all adds up. One bee sting doesn't hurt a horse, but enough bee stings can kill a horse.
Oliver Gaspirtz
There is a meaning of life but I've been sworn to secrecy.
Brian Spellman
Ultimate meaning is meaningless. Meaning meaning means everything else.
Brian Spellman
Enjoy the stillness, sweet snail! Savor the spring breeze while it still means something! Soon enough, like summer tempests your tears will come!
Walt Holcombe
I can be somebody's and still be my own.
Shel Silverstein
My mother once told me, when you have to make a decision, imagine the person you want to become someday. Ask yourself, what would that person do?
Barry Deutsch
A goal is a specific objective that you either achieve or don't sometime in the future. A system is something you do on a regular basis that increases your odds of happiness in the long run. If you do something every day, its a system. If you're waiting to achieve it someday in the future, it's a goal. If you achieve your goal, you celebrate and feel terrific, but only until you realize you just lost the thing that gave you purpose and direction. Your options are to feel empty and useless, perhaps enjoying the spoils of your success until they bore you, or set new goals and reenter the cycle of permanent presuccess failure. All I'm suggesting is that thinking of goals and systems as very different concepts has power. Goal-oriented people exist in a state of continuous presuccess failure at best, and permanent failure at worst if things never work out. Systems people succeed every time they apply their systems, in the sense that they did what they intended to do. The goals people are fighting the feeling of discouragement at each turn. The systems people are feeling good everytime they apply their system. That's a big difference in terms of maintaining your personal energy in the right direction.
Scott Adams
Grandma Harken was sharpening her garden shears. Her hands slowed on the file and she said finally, “He’ll get in trouble and he’ll figure it out. Best to do it without us standing over him. It’s the only way anybody ever learns to clean up after themselves.
Ursula Vernon
There must be different kinds of loneliness, or at least different degrees of loneliness, but the most terrifying loneliness is not experienced by everyone and can be understood by only a few. I compare the panic in this kind of loneliness to the dog we see running frantically down the road pursuing the family car. He is not really being left behind, for the family knows it is to return, but for that moment in his limited understanding, he is being left alone forever, and he has to run and run to survive. It is no wonder that we make terrible choices in our lives to avoid loneliness.
Charles M. Schulz
I always come here when I can't sleep [. . .] every night.
Faith Erin Hicks
Well, I know about loneliness. I won't talk about it, but I was very lonely after the war. I know what it feels like to spend a whole weekend all by yourself and no one wants you at all.
Charles M. Schulz
Rats! There goes the bell... oh, how I hate lunch hours! I always have to eat alone because nobody likes me... Peanut butter again... I wish that little red haired girl would come over, and sit with me. Wouldn’t it be great if she’d walk over here, and say, “May I eat lunch with you, Charlie Brown?” I’d give anything to talk with her... she’d never like me, though... I’m so blah and so stupid... she’d never like me... I wonder what would happen if I went over and tried to talk to her! Everyone would probably laugh... she’d probably be insulted someone as blah as I am tried to talk to her. I hate lunch hour... all it does is make me lonely... during class it doesn’t matter... I can’t even eat... Nothing tastes good... Rats! Nobody is ever going to like me... Lunch hour is the loneliest hour of the day!
Charles M. Schulz
The price of being a sheep is boredom. The price of being a wolf is loneliness. Choose one or the other with great care.
Hugh MacLeod
Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!There are points to be scored. There are games to be won.And the magical things you can do with that ballwill make you the winning-est winner of all.Fame! You'll be as famous as famous can be,with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.Except when they don'tBecause, sometimes they won't.I'm afraid that some timesyou'll play lonely games too.Games you can't win'cause you'll play against you.
Dr. Seuss
In an era where Existence is incontestable, Truth is subjective, and Reality is perceived, fiction must mediate between the three.
Henry Martin
Some people are pragmatists, taking things as they come and making the best of the choices available. Some people are idealists, standing for principle and refusing to compromise. And some people just act on any whim that enters their heads. I wonder which one YOU are. I pragmatically turn my whims into principles!
Bill Watterson
It's a pretty good little old place after all, and I have little time for the gloomers who are eternally shrieking that this old mud ball is rolling to the bow wows. I am satisfied to take my chances with this one, thank you, and not worry about the next . . . You must carry along with you a lively imagination and plenty of romance in your soul. Some of the most wonderful things in the world will seem dull and drab unless you view them in the proper light.
LeRoy Robert Ripley
In fact, they live in a state of constant paradox where truth is anything but constant
Guy Delisle
One thing that I love about traveling is feeling disoriented and removed from my comfort zone.
Sarah Glidden
If you manage to make it to some semblance of adulthood, just showing up turns out to be one of the kindest, most selfless things you can do for someone.
Tim Kreider
Kindness knows no kind.
Brian Spellman
Sweet mother Mary, boy, think about what you’re doing! Be cruel or be kind, but don’t be both, because now you’ve made a mess you can’t clean up in a hurry.
Ursula Vernon
Earl: Augh! They're trying to take the wolf off the endangered list .Mooch: I know. But did you hear what they're putting back on the endangered list? Earl: What?Mooch: Empathy and compassion.
Patrick McDonnell
If I could understand everything the way I do now, I could make it all--and then it just stopped. Leaving me with that feeling like when you figure out something brilliant and profound in a dream, but you wake up, and all you remember is that you knew this amazing thing, and now it's just out of reach.
Jeff Parker
It's hard to get motivated fixing a compile-time syntax error when you can buy a powder that turns a house into a monster.
Ryan North
Let's take a minute to talk about spellbooks, since, in this day and age when magic is no longer taught in schools (or is, at best, an elective like Home Economics), very few people have the experience with spellbooks that they used to.
Ursula Vernon
But all the magic I have knownI've had to make myself.
Shel Silverstein
He put his hand on his forehead and scoured the French department of his memory for a word. He knew it was in there. He'd put it in almost fifty years before and hadn't had cause to remove it. But for the life of him he couldn't find it.
Colin Cotterill
She has a memory of trees and fields and nothing more.
James Thurber
Because with time blocking out the bad, memory is always bound to be a bit naive and stupidly optimistic.
Guy Delisle
You're off to great places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting so... Get on your way!
Dr. Seuss
Thanksgiving dinner's sad and thankless. Christmas dinner's dark and blue. When you stop and try to see it From the turkey's point of view.Sunday dinner isn't sunny. Easter feasts are just bad luck. When you see it from the viewpoint of a chicken or a duck. Oh how I once loved tuna salad Pork and lobsters, lamb chops too Till I stopped and looked at dinner From the dinner's point of view.
Shel Silverstein
Idiocy in the modern age isn't an all-encompassing, twenty-four-hour situation for most people. It's a condition that everybody slips into many times a day. Life is just too complicated to be smart all the time.
Scott Adams
Lately...the Peter Principle has given way to the "Dilbert Principle." The basic concept of the Dilbert Principle is that the most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.
Scott Adams
Theory of Evolution (Summary)First, there were some amoebas. Deviant amoebas adapted better to the environment, thus becoming monkeys. Then came Total Quality Management.
Scott Adams
Men feel about sex the way vampires feel about blood. They don't just like it, they crave it. That's why vampire stories always have strong sexual undercurrents. A vampire's hunger is simply a metaphor for a man's lust.
Oliver Markus Malloy
Boys are beyond the range of anybody's sure understanding, at least when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years.
James Thurber
You know, maybe we don't need enemies.""Yeah, best friends aree about all I can take.
Bill Watterson
I've discovered a way to stay friends forever - There's really nothing to it. I simply tell you what to doAnd you do it!
Shel Silverstein
German is a much more precise language than English. Americans throw the word love around for everything: I love my wife! I love all my friends! I love rock music! I love the rain! I love comic books! I love peanut butter! The word you use to describe your feelings for your wife should not be the same word you use to describe your feelings for peanut butter. In German, there are a dozen different words that describe varying degrees of liking something a lot. Germans almost never use the word love, unless they mean a deep romantic love. I have never told my parents I love them, because it would sound melodramatic, inappropriate, and almost incestuous. In German, you tell your mother that you hold her very dear, not that you are in love with her.
Oliver Markus
Please allow me the honour of allowing you to bestow upon me a blowjob.
Daniel Clowes
When I say 'friends,' I use that term loosely, as I don't actually have any.
Stephan Pastis
Take no duty of the Guard lightly. Friends must not be enemies Just as enemies must not be friends.Discerning the two is a life's work.
David Petersen
I wish I had more friends, but people are such jerks. If you can just get most people to leave you alone, you're doing good. If you can find even one person you really like, you're lucky. And if that person can also stand you, you're really lucky.
Bill Watterson
How a plain and wagon on Mulberry Street, Grows into a story that no one can beat
Dr. Seuss
How a Plain horse and wagon on Mulberry Street, Grows into a story Thet no one can beat
Dr. Seuss
What is an idea made of? Of future, past and also meanwhile.
Lynda Barry
An imagination is a powerful tool. It can tint memories of the past, shade perceptions of the present, or paint a future so vivid that it can entice... or terrify, all depending upon how we conduct ourselves today.
Jim Davis
What year is it in your imagination?
Lynda Barry
There are certain children who are told they are too sensitive, and there are certain adults who believe sensitivity is a problem that can be fixed in the way that crooked teeth can be fixed and made straight. And when these two come together you get a fairytale, a kind of story with hopelessness in it.I believe there is something in these old stories that does what singing does to words. They have transformational capabilities, in the way melody can transform mood.They can't transform your actual situation, but they can transform your experience of it. We don't create a fantasy world to escape reality, we create it to be able to stay. I believe we have always done this, used images to stand and understand what otherwise would be intolerable.
Lynda Barry
They say the world is a stage. But obviously the play is unrehearsed and everybody is ad-libbing his lines.""Maybe that’s why it’s hard to tell if we’re living in a tragedy or a farce.""We need more special effects and dance numbers.
Bill Watterson
You're never too old to be young.
Paul Palnik
Life is short unless agony is long.
Brian Spellman
If you only go around once in life, then why has that one gone around more than once?
Brian Spellman
I awoke to a daymare. Life.
Brian Spellman
Where have you been all of your life?
Brian Spellman
Fifty percent of life is ninety percent indecisive. The rest is confusing.
Brian Spellman
Life is a circus: you go in, bow, run around, bow again and leave.
Storm Petersen
If good things lasted forever, would we appreciate how precious they are?
Bill Watterson