Quotes by Authors - Page 73

When something good happens it's a miracle and you should wonder what God is saving up for you later.
Marshall Brickman
I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
Henny Youngman
An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support.
John Buchan
I wanted to become an atheist but I gave it up. They have no holidays.
Henny Youngman
Heaven goes by favor if it went by merit you would stay out and your dog would go in.
Mark Twain
I have a hard time believing that billions of years ago two protozoa bumped into each other under a volcanic cesspool and evolved into Cindy Crawford.
Robert G. Lee
There are no atheists on turbulent airplanes.
Erica Jong
You want to make God laugh? Tell him your future plans.
Woody Allen
If only God would give me a clear sign like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
Woody Allen
There is a good deal too strange to be believed nothing is too strange to have happened.
Thomas Hardy
You have not converted a man because you have silenced him.
John Morley
Let's all give God a great big hand. I've seen the last page of the bible and it's going to turn out all right.
Anonymous
My theology briefly Is that the universe Was dictated But not signed.
Christopher Morley
Infidel n: in New York one who does not believe in the Christian religion in Constantinople one who does.
Ambrose Bierce
If you talk to God you are praying if God talks to you you have schizophrenia.
Thomas Szasz
The Church of England is the Tory party at prayer.
Anonymous
For the wonderful thing about saints is that they were human. They lost their tempers got angry scolded God were egotistical or testy or impatient in their turns made mistakes and regretted them. Still they went on doggedly blundering toward heaven.
Phyllis McGinley
Religion is a way of walking not a way of talking.
Dean William R. Inge
Oysters are more beautiful than any religion . . . there's nothing in Christianity or Buddhism that quite matches the sympathetic unselfishness of an oyster.
Saki
I think if you ask people what their concept of heaven is they would say if they are honest that it is a big department store with new things every week - all the money to buy them and maybe a little more than the neighbours.
Erich Fromm
Nothing in human life least of all in religion is ever right until it is beautiful.
Harry Emerson Fosdick
The various modes of worship which prevailed in the Roman world were all considered by the people as equally true by the philosopher as equally false and by the magistrate as equally useful.
Edward Gibbon
Most people believe that the Christian commandments are intentionally a little too severe - like setting a clock half an hour ahead to make sure of not being late in the morning.
Søren Kierkegaard
When people cease to believe in God they don't believe in nothing they believe in anything.
G.K. Chesterton
The test for a prophet is in the Bible. It is this. "When a prophet speaketh in the name of the Lord if the thing follow not nor come to pass that is the thing which the Lord hath not spoken."
Anonymous
The Pope is barely Catholic enough for some converts.
John Ayscough
Religion is the way we honour our ancestors' errors.
Mark M. Otoysao
One's religion is whatever he is most interested in.
James M. Barrie
My own mind is my own church.
Thomas Paine
If you can't believe in God the chances are your God is too small.
J.B. Phillips
I'm not really a Jew just Jew-ish not the whole hog.
Jonathan Miller
Heathen n. A beknighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel.
Ambrose Bierce
He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the Church he currently did not attend was Catholic.
Kingsley Amis
Don't wait for the Last Judgment. It takes place every day.
Albert Camus
A firm belief atthracts facts. They come out iv holes in the ground an' cracks in th' wall to support belief but they run away fr'm doubt.
Finley Peter Dunne
Relations are simply a tedious pack of people who haven't got the remotest knowledge of how to live nor the smallest instinct about when to die.
Oscar Wilde
The ultimate indignity is to be given a bedpan by a stranger who calls you by your first name.
Maggie Kuhn
The opinions which we hold of one another our relations with friends and kinsfolk are in no sense permanent save in appearance but are as eternally fluid as the sea itself.
Marcel Proust
Science may have found a cure for most evils: but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings.
Helen Keller
It is always safe to assume that people are more subtle and less sensitive than they seem.
Eric Hoffer
With three or more people there is something bold in the air: direct things get said which would frighten two people alone and conscious of each inch of their nearness to one another. To be three is to be in public - you feel safe.
Elizabeth Bowen
We rarely confide in those who are better than we are.
Albert Camus
This is another day! Are its eyes blurred with maudlin grief for any wasted past? A thousand thousand failures shall not daunt! Let dust clasp dust death death I am alive!
Don Marquis
Yesterday's errors let yesterday cover.
Susan Coolidge
One must never lose time in vainly regretting the past or in complaining against the changes which cause us discomfort for change is the essence of life.
Anatole France
Your past is always going to be the way it was. Stop trying to change it.
Anonymous
Reflect upon your present blessings of which every man has many-not on your past misfortunes of which all men have some.
Charles Dickens
The horror of that moment the King went on "I shall never forget." "You will though " the Queen said "if you don't make a memorandum of it."
Lewis Carroll
I have always found that each step we take in life is to be regretted-if we once begin to wonder how many other steps might have been possible.
John Oliver Hobbes
Regret is an appalling waste of energy you can't build on it it is good only for wallowing.
Katherine Mansfield
The error of the past is the success of the future. A mistake is evidence that someone tried to do something.
Anonymous
Should-haves solve nothing. It's the next thing to happen that needs thinking about.
Alexandra Ripley
Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.
Sydney J. Harris
Were it not better to forget Than to remember and regret?
L. E. Landon
Nobody gets to live life backward. Look ahead that is where your future lies.
Ann Landers
No doing without some ruing.
Sigrid Undset
The only causes of regret are laziness outbursts of temper hurting others prejudice jealousy and envy.
Germaine Greer
Very frequently feminine activity also expresses itself in what is largely a retrospectively oriented pondering over what we ought to have done differently in life and how we ought to have done it or as if under compulsion we make up strings of causal connections. We like to call this thinking though on the contrary it is a form of mental activity that is strangely pointless and unproductive a form that really leads only to self-torture.
Emma Jung
To make a crooked stick straight we bend it the contrary way.
Michel Montaigne
Reform must come from within not from without. You cannot legislate for virtue.
James Cardinal Gibbons