Quotes by Authors - Page 5054

The problem with winter sports is that -- follow me closely here -- they generally take place in winter.
Dave Barry
When someone leaves you, apart from missing them, apart from the fact that the whole little world you've created together collapses, and that everything you see or do reminds you of them, the worst is the thought that they tried you out and, in the end, the whole sum of parts adds up to you got stamped REJECT by the one you love. How can you not be left with the personal confidence of a passed over British Rail sandwich?
Helen Fielding
Ah, well,ʺ said Abe, idly studying his fingertips. ʺI have it on good authority thereʹs going to be a new ‘gateʹ opening up soon over on the south side of the wall."The truth dawned on me. ʺOh lord. Youʹre the one whoʹs been doling out C4.ʺʺYou make it sound so easy,ʺ he said with a frown. ʺThat stuffʹs hard to get a hold of.
Richelle Mead
I don't know what I was expecting a vampire's room to look like. Maybe lots of black, a bunch of books by Camus... oh, and a sensitive portrait of the only human the vamp ever loved, who had no doubt died of something beautiful and tragic, thus dooming the vamp to an eternity of moping and sighing dramatically.What can I say? I read a lot of books.
Rachel Hawkins
See?” I’d whispered to Bones, nudging him with a grin. “He never argues with her. Isn’t that sweet?”A snort preceded his response. “Keep dreaming, pet.
Jeaniene Frost
Garcia wondered why people with JESUS stickers on their bumper always drove twenty miles per hour under the speed limit. If God was my co-pilot, he thought, I'd be doing a hundred and twenty.
Carl Hiaasen
The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.
Mark Twain
I was talking aloud to myself. A habit of the old: they choose the wisest person present to speak to
J.R.R. Tolkien
So far Kat has been through all the Wa's she could think of, but Hale hadn't admitted to being Walter or Ward or Washington. He'd firmly denied both Warren and Waverly. Watson had prompted him to do a very bad Sherlock Holmes impersonation throughout a good portion of a train ride to Edinburgh, Scotland. And Wayne seemed so wrong she hadn't even tried.Hale was Hale. And not knowing what the W's stood for had become a constant reminder to Kat that, in life, there are some things that can be given but never stolen.Of course, that didn't stop her from trying.
Ally Carter
Claire, did I invite you to my barbeque?" Massie asked, her neck tilting to the right and her arms tightly crossed."Huh? No. I mean, I don't know," Claire said." Massie said through her teeth.
Lisi Harrison
Most men don't seem to get that telling a pissed-off woman to calm down is like throwing gunpowder on a fire.” ~ Liberty Jones
Lisa Kleypas
Oh, of course," said Ron, clapping a hand to his forehead. "I forgot we'll be hunting down Voldemort in a mobile library.
J.K. Rowling
I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.
Dorothy Parker
What are you talking about?" Narcissus demanded. "I am amazing. Everyone knows this.""Amazing at pure suck," Leo said. "If I was as suck as you, I'd drown myself. Oh wait, you already did that.
Rick Riordan
Now what state do you live in?''Denial.
Bill Watterson
There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.", Summer 1956]
Dorothy Parker
No one believes a liar. Even when she's telling the truth.
Sara Shepard
Hey, Carlos," the Professor says when he walks in. "How was REACH?""It sucked.""Can you be more specific?" my guardian asks."It really sucked," I elaborate, sarcasm dripping from every word.
Simone Elkeles
Tasers are a one-size-fits-all paranormal butt-kicking option. Mine’s pink withrhinestones.
Kiersten White
Well? Is it true? Did she?""Did she what?""You know. Fall outta the crazy tree and hit every branch on the way down?
Kami Garcia
After a long pause in which he took the time to blink several times, he asked, "You named your breasts?"I turned my back to him with a shrug. "I named my ovaries, too, but they don't get out as much.
Darynda Jones
Help me, I can’t breathe, your ego is pushing all the air out of the room.
Ilona Andrews
Show me somebody who is always smiling, always cheerful, always optimistic, and I will show you somebody who hasn't the faintest idea what the heck is really going on.
Mike Royko
Don't bite his face, Eleanor told herself. It's disturbing and needy and never happens in situation comedies or movies that end with big kisses.
Rainbow Rowell
Well sure, who doesn't need a boyfriend? but realistically, those exotic creatures are hard to come by. At least a quality one.
Rachel Cohn
No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
George Carlin
My experience in Amsterdam is that cyclists ride where the hell they like and aim in a state of rage at all pedestrians while ringing their bell loudly, the concept of avoiding people being foreign to them.My dream holiday would be a) a ticket to Amsterdam b) immunity from prosecution and c) a baseball bat.
Terry Pratchett
Please, Percy...change your clothes. You smell like you've been run over by an electric horse.
Rick Riordan
Wow. When he started looking back on the war with Kronos as the good old days--that was sad.
Rick Riordan
What was that?" Belgarath asked, coming back around the corner."Brill," Silk replied blandly, pulling his Murgo robe back on."Again?" Belgarath demanded with exasperation. "What was he doing this time?""Trying to fly, last time I saw him." Silk smirked.The old man looked puzzled."He wasn't doing it very well," Silk added.Belgarath shrugged. "Maybe it'll come to him in time.""He doesn't really have all that much time." Silk glanced out over the edge."From far below - terribly far below - there came a faint, muffled crash; then, after several seconds, another. "Does bouncing count?" Silk asked.Belgarath made a wry face. "Not really.""Then I'd say he didn't learn in time." Silk said blithely.
David Eddings
You can't save everybody. In fact, there are days when I think you can't save anyone. Each person has to save himself first, then you can move in and help. I have found this philosophy does not work during a gun battle, or a knife fight either. Outside of that it works just fine.
Laurell K. Hamilton
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
George Carlin
I have gone temporarily deaf and haven't any idea what you said, Harry.
J.K. Rowling
I didn't know a van could go up on two wheels like that, for so long." -Nudge
James Patterson
Hmm…” Jason snapped his fingers. “I can call a friend for a ride.”Percy raised his eyebrows. “Oh, yeah? Me too. Let's see whose friend gets here first.
Rick Riordan
Margaret Atwood, the Canadian novelist, once asked a group of women at a university why they felt threatened by men. The women said they were afraid of being beaten, raped, or killed by men. She then asked a group of men why they felt threatened by women. They said they were afraid women would laugh at them.
Molly Ivins
You're such a pain in the ass. (Butch) Said the SIG to the Glock. (V)
J.R. Ward
Life's greatest tragedy is not that it will someday end, but that most only live to follow directions and sometimes we end up totally lost.
Alex Gaskarth
The true New Yorker secretly believes that people living anywhere else have to be, in some sense, kidding.
John Updike
Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable.
Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.
That was horrible. Horrible. That poor little guy."Pex was unrepentant. "Yeah, well, he asked for it. Calling us ... all those things."But---buried alive! That's like in that horror movie. Y'know -- the one with all the horror."I think I saw that one. With all the words going up on the screen at the end?"Yeah, that was it. Tell you the truth, those words kinda ruined it for me.
Eoin Colfer
Playing with fire Kitten?
Jeaniene Frost
A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it.
Mark Twain
Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto
Scott Adams
Chocolate is God's apology for brocolli
Richard Paul Evans
If it weren't for greed, intolerance, hate, passion and murder, you would have no works of art, no great buildings, no medical science, no Mozart, no Van Gough, no Muppets and no Louis Armstrong.
Jasper Fforde
Geez, you guys. I know I'm popular and all, but seriously, you're a bit too co-dependent for me. I'm going to need you to step away from my personal bubble." A wispy vine-woman curled ivy tendrils around his arm, and he sliced through them with his dagger. "No! Bad Wraith! No touchie!
Julie Kagawa
Since I don't smoke, I decided to grow a mustache - it is better for the health.However, I always carried a jewel-studded cigarette case in which, instead of tobacco, were carefully placed several mustaches, Adolphe Menjou style. I offered them politely to my friends: "Mustache? Mustache? Mustache?"Nobody dared to touch them. This was my test regarding the sacred aspect of mustaches.
Salvador Dalí
It comes from a very ancient democracy, you see...""You mean, it comes from a world of lizards?""No," said Ford, who by this time was a little more rational and coherent than he had been, having finally had the coffee forced down him, "nothing so simple. Nothing anything like so straightforward. On its world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people.""Odd," said Arthur, "I thought you said it was a democracy.""I did," said Ford. "It is.""So," said Arthur, hoping he wasn't sounding ridiculously obtuse, "why don't people get rid of the lizards?""It honestly doesn't occur to them," said Ford. "They've all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they've voted in more or less approximates to the government they want.""You mean they actually vote for the lizards?""Oh yes," said Ford with a shrug, "of course.""But," said Arthur, going for the big one again, "why?""Because if they didn't vote for a lizard," said Ford, "the wrong lizard might get in. Got any gin?""What?""I said," said Ford, with an increasing air of urgency creeping into his voice, "have you got any gin?""I'll look. Tell me about the lizards."Ford shrugged again."Some people say that the lizards are the best thing that ever happenned to them," he said. "They're completely wrong of course, completely and utterly wrong, but someone's got to say it.""But that's terrible," said Arthur."Listen, bud," said Ford, "if I had one Altairian dollar for every time I heard one bit of the Universe look at another bit of the Universe and say 'That's terrible' I wouldn't be sitting here like a lemon looking for a gin.
Douglas Adams
We're playing Scrabble. It's a nightmare.""Scrabble?" He sounds surprised. "Scrabble's great.""Not when you're playing with a family of geniuses, it's not. They all put words like 'iridiums'. And I put 'pig'.
Sophie Kinsella
The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.
George F. Will
Someday we'll look back on this and it will all seem funny.
Bruce Springsteen
Mary-Lynnette: "You have not read 'Pride and Prejudice'."Ash: "Why not?"Mary-Lynnette: "Because Jane Austen was a human."Ash: "How do you know?"Mary-Lynnette: "Well Jane Austen was a woman, and you're a chauvinist pig."Ash: "Yes, well, that I can't argue.
L.J. Smith
Pietrisycamollaviadelrechiotemexity.
Lemony Snicket
...crackers..." a voice breathed out nehind us, "yesss..."Both of us turned, watching as Chubs twisted around in his seat and settled back down, still fast asleep. I pressed a hand over my mouth to keep from laughing. Liam rolled his eyes, smiling. .
Alexandra Bracken
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
Terry Pratchett
Men are more interesting in books than they are in real life.
Mary Ann Shaffer
Don't blame me. Tell your mom to move closer. Tell her there's this new club called civilization and you guys should join.
Becca Fitzpatrick
St. Clair clears his throat. 'My fiancée and I are headed out for a celebratory dessert. I'd ask you all to join us, but I don't want you there.
Stephanie Perkins
I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
Steve Martin