Quotes by Authors - Page 5050

Molly: So how do you think of Bryce Hamilton crowd so far? Boys hot enough for you?Bethany: I wouldn't say hot. Most of them seem to have a normal body temperature.
Alexandra Adornetto
The lack of money is the root of all evil.
Mark Twain
Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money.
Jules Renard
Why did Mother ask you to help me rescue Gelsi?" I asked Leif."She thought I could assist you in some way. Instead, I had tried to-""Kill me? You can join the 'I Want to Kill Yelena Guild.' I hear they have sixmembers in good standing.Valek is president since he had wanted to kill me twice."--Yelena to Leif
Maria V. Snyder
Either you go to America with Mrs. Van Hopper or you come home to Manderley with me.""Do you mean you want a secretary or something?""No, I'm asking you to marry me, you little fool.
Daphne du Maurier
It seems that the young woman made some indelicate suggestion of a threesome...When I got there, Miss Nash was standing by the hot tub in a small bikini, pointing the business end of a SIG-Sauer P-226 at her fella and concerned members of the hotel staff, while dunking the scantily clad female's head under the water and asking, "Who's diving for clams now, bitch?
Ilona Andrews
Death didn't bother me much. Strong Christian and all that. Method of death did. Being eaten alive. One of my top three ways not to go out.
Laurell K. Hamilton
The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.
Dave Barry
The French have a new president, the British will soon have a new P.M., and we envy them as we endure the endless wait for this small dim man to go back to Texas and resume his life.
Garrison Keillor
I think the very word stalking implies that you're not supposed to like it. Otherwise, it would be called 'fluffy harmless observation time'.
Molly Harper
You know you have ADD when Look A chicken - T-shirt
Darynda Jones
Who knew that the devil had a factory where he made millions of fossils, which his minions distributed throughout the earth, in order to confuse my tiny brain?
Lewis Black
NO PDA,school rules. And besides she's my partner dickhead." said Alex.
Simone Elkeles
Where I come from, we're more about efficiency,' he replies. 'A knife like this'll skewer food, smear butter, and slit throats all at the same time.
Marie Lu
I actually like how doctors talk. I like the sound of science. I like how words you don't understand explain things you can't understand.
R.J. Palacio
The road to creativity passes so close to the madhouse and often detours or ends there.
Ernest Becker
The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you're finished.
Nelson DeMille
Don't care for her tongue, do you? How strange. I find it one of my favorite parts.Bones to Gregor
Jeaniene Frost
Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
Mark Twain
Of course, it is boring to read about boring thing, but it is better to read something that makes you yawn with boredom than something that will make you weep uncontrollably, pound your fists against the floor, and leave tearstains all over your pillowcase, sheets, and boomerang collection.
Lemony Snicket
Grover wore his fake feet and his pants to pass as human. He wore a green rasta-style cap, because when it rained his curly hair flattened and you could just see the tips of his horns. His bright orange backpack was full of scrap metal and apples to snack on. In his pocket was a set of reed pipes his daddy goat had carved for him, even though he only knew two songs: Mozart's Piano Concerto no. 12 and Hilary Duff's "So Yesterday," both of which sounded pretty bad on reed pipes.
Rick Riordan
You look as scary as a buttered muffin.
Tamora Pierce
If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian.
Mark Twain
Ayame: "Yuki, let's deepen the bond between us brothers!"Yuki: "Before you can do that I'll drown you in the deepest part of that lake."Ayame: "As long as we spend time together."Yuki: "On second thought, go drown yourself.
Natsuki Takaya
Holmes and Watson are on a camping trip. In the middle of the night Holmes wakes up and gives Dr. Watson a nudge. "Watson" he says, "look up in the sky and tell me what you see.""I see millions of stars, Holmes," says Watson."And what do you conclude from that, Watson?"Watson thinks for a moment. "Well," he says, "astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meterologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I see that God is all-powerful, and we are small and insignficant. Uh, what does it tell you, Holmes?""Watson, you idiot! Someone has stolen our tent!
Thomas Cathcart
Another werewolf thing. Like most animals, we spent a large part of our lives engaged in the three Fs of basic survival. Feeding, fighting and... reproduction.
Kelley Armstrong
I'll not listen to reason... reason always means what someone else has got to say.
Elizabeth Gaskell
Don’t put off till tomorrow anyone you could be doing today.
Emma Chase
Charlie whistled "Amazing Grace" as he drove. It was all I could do not to whip my head around and snap, Are you kidding me? Couldn't he pick something more appropriate, like "Shout at the Devil" or "Don't fear the Reaper"? Some people had no sense of the proper music for a kidnapping.
Jeaniene Frost
There's a difference between preferring books to parties and preferring sixteen cats to seeing the light of day.
Lauren Morrill
Years from now, when I'm successful and happy, ...and he's in prison... I hope I'm not too mature to gloat.
Bill Watterson
When things are at their blackest, I say to myself, 'Cheer up, things could be worse.' And sure enough, they get worse.
Robert Lynn Asprin
Paris answered for him. "Last time he spread the flashing love, Reyes threw up all over his shirt. I never laughed so hard in my life. Lucien, though, has no sense of humor and vowed never to take us again.""I'm surprised you didn't mention the part where you fainted," Lucien said wryly.Strider chortled. "Oh, man. You fainted? What a baby!""Hey," Paris said, frowning at Lucien. "I told you I hit my head midflash."Lucien
Gena Showalter
That's a sweet piece," said Jean, briefly forgetting to be aggravated. "You didn't snatch that off a street.""No," said Locke, before taking another deep draught of the warm water in the decanter. "I got it from the neck of the governor's mistress.""You can't be serious.""In the governor's manor.""Of all the -" "In the governor's bed.""Damned lunatic!""With the governor sleeping next to her."The night quiet was broken by the high, distant trill of a whistle, the traditional swarming noise of city watches everywhere. Several other whistles joined in a few moments later."It is possible," said Locke with a sheepish grin, "that I have been slightly too bold.
Scott Lynch
Why do all your brilliant ideas involve felonies?
Kathy Reichs
Do you like to slide?" His voice was eager.Stair rails! Did he suspect me? I forced a sigh. "No, Majesty. I'm terrified of heights.""Oh." His polite tone had returned."I wish I could enjoy it. This fear of heights is an affliction."He nodded, a show of sympathy but not much interest. I was losing him."Especially," I added, "as I've grown taller.
Gail Carson Levine
My shining dishonesty will be the salvation of me.
Diana Wynne Jones
Yes, my tiara sets off the whole thing nicely," said Auntie Muriel in a rather carrying whisper. "But I must say, Ginevra's dress is far too low-cut."Ginny glanced round, grinning, winked at Harry, then quickly faced the front again.
J.K. Rowling
Regardless of what I think about Islam or Wicca or any other religion, the fact is that it's a group of people. Every faith has its ceremonies. And since it's made up of people, every faith also has its assholes.
Jim Butcher
I love you above all things, even pie.
Christopher Moore
Mike nodded. A sombre nod. The nod Napoleon might have given if somebody had met him in 1812 and said, "So, you're back from Moscow, eh?
P.G. Wodehouse
Rules and school are tools for fools! I don't give two mules for rules.
Trenton Lee Stewart
I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.
Bill Watterson
I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge?
Douglas Adams
Don't bite off more than you can chew because nobody looks attractive spitting it back out.
Carroll Bryant
You don’t need no gun control, you know what you need? We need some bullet control. Men, we need to control the bullets, that’s right. I think all bullets should cost five thousand dollars… five thousand dollars per bullet… You know why? Cause if a bullet cost five thousand dollars there would be no more innocent bystanders. Yeah! Every time somebody get shut we’d say, ‘Damn, he must have done something ... Shit, he’s got fifty thousand dollars worth of bullets in his ass.’And people would think before they killed somebody if a bullet cost five thousand dollars. ‘Man I would blow your fucking head off…if I could afford it.’ ‘I’m gonna get me another job, I’m going to start saving some money, and you’re a dead man. You’d better hope I can’t get no bullets on layaway.’So even if you get shot by a stray bullet, you wouldn't have to go to no doctor to get it taken out. Whoever shot you would take their bullet back, like "I believe you got my property.
Chris Rock
Tacos.""Tacos?" I echoed.This seemed to amuse him. "Tomatoes, lettuce, cheese.""I know what a taco is!
Becca Fitzpatrick
She shrugs."Men""Men.""If we can send one man to the moon, why can't we send them all there?
Cynthia Hand
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Terry Pratchett
Let me ask you a question Alex. What do you think is the greatest evil on this plant today?""Is that including, or not including you?
Anthony Horowitz
A tiger only needs three things to be comfortable. Lots of food, sleep, and…actually, no it’s just those two things.
Colleen Houck
Once, when a religionist denounced me in unmeasured terms, I sent him a card saying, "I am sure you believe that I will go to hell when I die, and that once there I will suffer all the pains and tortures the sadistic ingenuity of your deity can devise and that this torture will continue forever. Isn't that enough for you? Do you have to call me bad names in addition?
Isaac Asimov
The more excited I get, the more I vibrate.""Now there's a thought," Lor says."If you mean what I think you mean, you want to shut the fuck up and never think it again," Ryodan says.
Karen Marie Moning
A friend is someone who knows where all your bodies are buried. Because they're the ones who helped you put them there."And sometimes, if you're really lucky, they help you dig them back up.
Jenny Lawson
I can't abide people who go soft over animals and then cheat every human they come across!
Diana Wynne Jones
Well", Fang said, mimicking a thick Southern drawl. "I must say its mighty nice of them Daimons to clean up after themselves when you kill them" He held his hands up to them. "Look Ma, no mess.""Does Fang have an off switch?" Talon asked Vane.
Sherrilyn Kenyon
Someday is not a day of the week.
Janet Dailey
She's so small, yet she contains so much evil.
Christopher Moore
I'm a big believer in putting things off, In fact, I even put off procrastinating.-Ella Varner
Lisa Kleypas
If she can't spell, why is she a librarian? Librarians should know how to spell.
Beverly Cleary