Quotes by Authors - Page 5040

I don't know where people got the idea that characters in books are supposed to be likable. Books are not in the business of creating merely likeable characters with whom you can have some simple identification with. Books are in the business of creating great stories that make you're brain go ahhbdgbdmerhbergurhbudgerbudbaaarr.
John Green
Ransom really looked at the other man for the first time, shook his head, stared again.“Holy hell, your eyes are like a fucking viper’s.” Venom raised an eyebrow.“You have hair prettier than one of Astaad’s concubines.” Ransom gave the vampire the finger. Venom grinned.
Nalini Singh
You can run from the grave, but you can't hide.
Jeaniene Frost
But Grover’s voice was already growing fainter. ‘Sweet dreams. Don’t let me die!
Rick Riordan
I'm trying to make some sense out of the phrase "Everything happens for a reason," and I think I've figured out what the reason is - to pissed me off.
Cecelia Ahern
'Tell Suzie she's a lucky cat.' Have sexier words ever been spoken?
Ally Carter
Do you find this...distracting?
Suzanne Collins
How are you feeling?"I leaned away from him. "Gross."Aiden frowned. "Gross?""I haven't brushed my teeth or washed my face in days. Don't come near me."He laughed. "Alex, come on.""Seriously, I'm gross." I put my hand over my mouth.Ignoring my protests, he leaned over and brushed my string hair back. "You're as beautiful as always, Alex."I stared at him. He must not get out much.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
OK," Josh said evenly, "I've seen men made of mud, I guess I can accept spying rats. Do they talk?" he wondered aloud.Don't be ridiculous," Flamel snapped, "They're rats."Josh really didn't think it was a ridiculous suggestion.
Michael Scott
Marry me, he says. I got all my own teeth, I wash twice a year an I'll cut you in fer half the business here.
Moira Young
I had a polynomial once. My doctor removed it.
Michael Grant
Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned, it's full of suprises.
Erma Bombeck
Doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark. You know what you are doing but nobody else does.
Steuart Henderson Britt
I hate women who complain about being fat when they're like a size 5. Anything under size 5 isn't a woman. It's a boy with breasts.
Laurell K. Hamilton
You could shove it up your ass and pretend you're a corn dog."COURTESY VIOLATION-RESPONSE MUTED-VIOLATION LOGGED
Ernest Cline
For the record, I would like to point out that it is NOT being obsessive to memorize a boy's schedule so that you can accidentally bump into him. It is called being efficient.
Jess Rothenberg
Professors of literature collect books the way a ship collects barnacles, without seeming effort.
Carolyn G. Heilbrun
Huging my pillow to my chest, I told myself, At least soon you won't have so much time to miss him. Soon school will start again, and then you'll be busier. Wait. Am I reduced to HOPING for school to start? Somehow, I have discovered a whole new level of pathetic.
Claudia Gray
Because he has the best equipment in the City and he knows how to use it!
Ilona Andrews
Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
Dave Barry
You couldn't be satisfied with being an amateur asshole, could you, Jimbo! You had to go and turn pro on me!
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
since i will not send this, i also feel it is my duty to inform you that almost six months on I think I still love you and that makes me sad becaue love shouldn’t feel this way. is like getting kicked in the stomach every time i think of you and it makes me want to roll my face across this keyboardbiu;///ubEWdcfhugiov’byhi;.//////-=‘-0i9juh8ygtfdcsaazs34defg7uefg7u8hi9o0p8hi9o0p-[[09ju8dcsaazs34d9o0p-[[09.
Jay Kristoff
The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy offers this definition ofthe word "Infinite".Infinite: Bigger than the biggest thing ever and then some.Much bigger than that in fact, really amazingly immense, atotally stunning size, "wow, that's big", time. Infinity is just sobig that by comparison, bigness itself looks really titchy.Gigantic multiplied by colossal multiplied by staggeringlyhuge is the sort of concept we're trying to get across here.
Douglas Adams
I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour, but heaven knows I'm miserable now.
Morrissey
I would so hate to be a first-person character! Always on your guard, always having people read your thoughts!
Jasper Fforde
Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.
George Carlin
I don't know why it should be, I am sure; but the sight of another man asleep in bed when I am up, maddens me.
Jerome K. Jerome
I'm the crazy girly captain, Remember?
Eoin Colfer
If you ever put a student at this school in danger again-''Oh, I thought you Gallagher Girls were immune to danger.'Despite the hundred girls the filled the foyer, no one moved or gasped or tried to defend our honor. We stood silently, waiting for our headmistress to say, 'Oh, we are quite used to being underestimated, Agent Townsend. In fact, we welcome it.
Ally Carter
My capacity for happiness," he added, "you could fit into a matchbox without taking out the matches first
Douglas Adams
I think you learn more if you're laughing at the same time.
Mary Ann Shaffer
Speak softly and employ a huge man with a crowbar.
Terry Pratchett
Elizabeth: "Your balls, Mr. Darcy?"Darcy: "They belong to you, Miss Bennett.
Seth Grahame-Smith
In the action business, when you don't want to say you ran like a mouse, you call it 'taking cover.' It's more heroic.
Jim Butcher
Bite me, Goth princess,” Shane called from the back. “Not literally or anything.”“Maybe you should say that to Michael.”“Not funny, Eve,” Michael said.Eve raised her eyebrows and held her fingers up, measuring off about an inch. “Little bit,” she said.
Rachel Caine
Granny was an old-fashioned witch. She didn’t do good for people, she did right by them.
Terry Pratchett
I'm your friend, and friends don't let friends die.
C.B. Cook
You thought I was a werewolf?" Dervish asks."Yes" I answer hollowly."You ass.
Darren Shan
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
Dave Barry
I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I’m not feeling so well myself.
Mark Twain
Normal" is just a setting on your dryer.
Patsy Clairmont
No, my friend, I am not drunk. I have just been to the dentist, and need not return for another six months! Is it not the most beautiful thought?--Poirot
Agatha Christie
Even now, despite Angeline's watchfulness, she'd occasionally oscillate between random topics, like how shepherd's pie wasn't a pie at all and why it was pointless for her to take class in typing when technology would eventually develop robot companions to do it for us.
Richelle Mead
…well just call me Hannibal Lecter. With cleavage.
Jeaniene Frost
How is it that little children are so intelligent and men so stupid? It must be education that does it
Alexandre Dumas
I happen to be immature, undisciplined, and self-centered, pretty much a little boy in a man's body, although I'd appreciate it if you didn't quote me on that.-Bobby Tom
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
I will describe my eyes and then begin the story. My eyes are blue and resplendent. Now I will begin the story.
Jonathan Safran Foer
Could we wear spandex and blow things up?
Lisa Mantchev
Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry, you can't have a baby brother, because that would mean that Daddy had sex, and that's never going to happen again.
Christopher Moore
A whizzpopper!" cried the BFG, beaming at her. "Us giants is making whizzpoppers all the time! Whizzpopping is a sign of happiness. It is music in our ears! You surely is not telling me that a little whizzpopping if forbidden among human beans?
Roald Dahl
Humor can get in under the door while seriousness is still fumbling at the handle.
G.K. Chesterton
Plans are invitation to disappointment.
Derek Landy
This is the fast lane, folks...and some of us like it here.
Hunter S. Thompson
He smiled in a way that made me want to kiss him right on the spot. Or the lips. Whichever was closer.
Shannon Hale
Want coffee?" I asked, as I headed that way."It's three thirty in the morning.""Okay. Want coffee?
Darynda Jones
It was sad music. But it waved its sadness like a battle flag. It said the universe had done all it could, but you were still alive.
Terry Pratchett
Just as I had long suspected, a person didn't really need math for anything anyway. Maybe some people did. Some limited people.
Augusten Burroughs
Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some.
Stephen Colbert
Artemis: "Right, brothers. Onward. Imagine yourself seated at a cafe in Montmartre."Myles: "In Paris."Artemis: "Yes, Paris. And try as you will, you cannot attract the waiter's attention. What do you do?"Beckett: "Umm...tell Butler to jump-jump-jump on his head?"Myles: "I agree with simple-toon."Artemis: "No! You simply raise one finger and say clearly 'ici, garcon.'"Beckett: "Itchy what?
Eoin Colfer
I’d heard you were dead.”"I heard you wear a red lace corset,” I said matter-of-factly. “But I don’t believe every bit of nonsense that gets rumored about.
Patrick Rothfuss