Quotes by Authors - Page 5035

Come to think of it, she did not speak a word. Yet I could have sworn she had the most beautiful voice.
Julie Klassen
No one messes around with a nerd’s computer and escapes unscathed.
E.A. Bucchianeri
Of all the consumer products, chewing gum is perhaps the most ridiculous: it literally has no nourishment – you just chew it to give yourself something to do with your stupid idiot Western mouth.Half the world is starving, and the other’s going, ‘I don’t actually need any nutrition, but it would be good to masticate, just to keep my mind off things.
Russell Brand
I've missed you, Sebastian.""Have you, love?" He unfastened the buttons of her robe, the light eyes glittering with heat as her skin was revealed. "What part did you miss the most?""Your mind," she said, and smiled at his expression."I was hoping for a far more depraved answer than that.""Your mind is depraved," she told him solemnly.He gave a husky laugh. "True.
Lisa Kleypas
Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print.
Dave Barry
God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.
Darynda Jones
Sorry," she said. "I have a psychological disorder that prevents me from keeping thoughts inside my head where they belong.
Jeri Smith-Ready
In a moment of sheer terror, I realized I couldn't feel my brain. It was there just a minute ago. Maybe I really was dead. "Do I look dead to you?
Darynda Jones
I am too tired, I must try to rest and sleep, otherwise I am lost in every respect. What an effort to keep alive! Erecting a monument does not require an expenditure of so much strength.
Franz Kafka
Oh shit, the mummy's after us, let's all walk a little faster
Stephen King
My powers of persuasion are only as strong as the bullshit I have to back it up.- Charley Davidson
Darynda Jones
Death doesn't care about personalities - he's more interested in meeting quotas.
Jasper Fforde
Hash, x. There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is.Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable.Dictionary, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work.
Ambrose Bierce
Not really hungry.""She’ll eat." Pritkin said curtly."I said —""If you starve to death it would damage my professional reputation.""I eat plenty.""The same does not apply should I strangle you in understandable irritation, however.""I’ll have a sandwich," I told Nick. "No meat.
Karen Chance
What’s next? The size of my cock?” “Hey, even pencils can get the job done—I’ve heard the moaning from your room to prove it.
J.R. Ward
There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?
Woody Allen
Be you wise and never sad,You will get your lovely lad.Never serious be, nor true,And your wish will come to you--And if that makes you happy, kid,You'll be the first it ever did.
Dorothy Parker
And if you say that's because you lot barged into her home like a herd of mentally deficient sheep, I'm disowning all three of you.
Julia Quinn
Genius is of small use to a woman who does not know how to do her hair.
Edith Wharton
Juliet's version of cleanliness was next to godliness, which was to say it was erratic, past all understanding and was seldom seen.
Terry Pratchett
But I was not in the band, because I suffer from the kind of tone deafness that is generally associated with actual deafness
John Green
See, you think I give a shit. Wrong. In fact, while you talk, I'm thinking; How can I give less of shit? That's why I look interested.
Justin Halpern
We only came close to dying six or seven times, which I thought was pretty good. Once, I lost my grip and found myself dangling by one hand from a ledge fifty feet above the rocky surf. But I found another handhold and kept climbing. A minute later Annabeth hit a slippery patch of moss and her foot slipped. Fortunately, she found something else to put it against. Unfortunately, that something was mt face."Sorry," she murmured."S'okay," I grunted, though I'd never really wanted to know what Annabeth's sneaker tasted like.
Rick Riordan
Your mum pounced on her and started sucking away. Would’ve been arousing if not for all the screaming.”“Ian,” Bones drew out warningly.He grinned. “You’re right. I was aroused anyway.
Jeaniene Frost
Roger, he has a chain saw," I hissed. "I am not going to die in Kentucky!
Morgan Matson
A library is like an island in the middle of a vast sea of ignorance, particularly if the library is very tall and the surrounding area has been flooded.
Daniel Handler
Conner Lassiter. Scheduled to be unwound the 21st of November-until you went AWOL. You caused an accident that killed a bus driver, left dozens of others injured, and shut down an interstate highway for hours. Then, on top of it, you took a hostage AND shot a Juvey-cop with his own tranq gun."..."He's the Akron AWOL?!
Neal Shusterman
Becky Renee Apple - can you believe her mom named her that and then had all of her sweaters monogramed with 'BRA'?
P.C. Cast
Bethany blinked. "Did you just hit me?" she asked, disbelief coloring her every feature.Skylar raised both hands, palms outward. "I come in peace!""You do not come in peace. You hit me.""I hit in peace!
Jennifer Lynn Barnes
The internet is just a world passing notes around a classroom.
Jon Stewart
Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
Erma Bombeck
I'll take the cemetery," Kane said. He didn't sound excited. Rather, he sounded resigned. "The club might collapse if I go.
Gena Showalter
Now lemme get this straight," she said in a throaty, nasal voice. "You put the lime in the cocanut and drink 'em both up--whoa, long faces. What am I interrupting?
Lauren Kate
Not daring to flee since my general location has just been broadcast to any killer who cares. I mean, I know it's cold out here and not everybody has a sleeping bag.
Suzanne Collins
And Mega has a crush on Chester.""I do not!""Do too, Mega.""He's like, old!""How old, Christian says.""Like at least thirty or something."Lor laughs. " Fucking ancient, ain't it, kid?""Dude," I agree. I like Lor.
Karen Marie Moning
Rich children are always blond, Jocelyn goes. It has to do with vitamins.
Jennifer Egan
In my mind, I'm probably the biggest sex maniac you ever saw.
J.D. Salinger
I've won Satan's lottery.
Christopher Moore
How did you kill the Ashman in the forest last year?”“I shot him with an arrow.”“What kind of arrow?”“A sharp one.”Nate rolled his eyes. “Really, dude? A sharp one?
Chelsea Fine
He gave her a sly, sideways look. "Did youbring it?""My list? Heavens, no. What can you be thinking?"His smile widened. "I brought mine."Daphne gasped. "You didn't!""I did. Just to torture Mother. I'm going peruse it right in front of her, pull out my quizzing glass—""You don't have a quizzing glass."He grinned—the slow, devastatingly wicked smile that all Bridgerton males seemed to possess. "I bought one just for this occasion.""Anthony, you absolutely cannot. She will kill you. And then, somehow, she'll find a way to blame me.""I'm counting on it.
Julia Quinn
And by golly, love sure was a battlefield. Benatar was right about that.
Charlaine Harris
The lustful glances thrown his way made me wish he wasn’t such a damned bowl of eye candy."- Cat re: Bones
Jeaniene Frost
You can't make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?
Bob Moawad
We were just looking at maps...
Rick Riordan
Dear Teens at Starbucks wearing 'Abstain from Sex 2 Attain Ur Goals' t-shirts: Doesn't it depend on what my goals are?
John Green
If you're worried about safety, you might like to follow my example and put on that seat belt.""The what?"Xavier shook his head in disbelief."You worry me," he muttered.
Alexandra Adornetto
Oh Blimey O‘Reilly's pantyhose...what is the point of Shakespeare? I know he is a genius and so on, but he does rave on.It's the bloody moon, for God's sake, Will, get a grip!!
Louise Rennison
I’m not an idiot, Kenji. I have reasons for the things I say.”“Yeah, and maybe I’m just saying that you have no idea what you’re saying.”“Whatever.”“Don’t whatever me—”“Whatever,” I say again.“Oh my God,” Kenji says to no one in particular. “I think this girl wants to get her ass kicked.”“You couldn’t kick my ass if I had ten of them.”Kenji laughs out loud. “Is that a challenge?”"It’s a warning,” I say to him.“Ohhhhhh, so you’re threatening me now? Little crybaby knows how to make threats now?”“Shut up, Kenji.”“Shut up, Kenji,” he repeats in a whiny voice, mocking me.
Tahereh Mafi
See? This is why I'm not religious. I couldn't possibly keep my mouth shut long enough to get along with everyone else.
Jim Butcher
You look about as trapped as a piglet at a baby back ribs cookoff.
Colleen Houck
Where are you going?""Nowhere special. I just have some... things to do.""Why did you pause?'"I'm sorry?""You paused. You have 'some... things to do.'"No reason, I just--""You're up to something.""No--""Then why'd you pause?""Get in the car."She got in. He got in."Seat belt," he said.Why'd you pause?"His head drooped. "Because I'm up to somthing.""And why can't I come with you?""Because it's something sneaky.""Do you promise to tell me later?""I do.""Well all right then." She clicked her seat belt into place. "Let's go.
Derek Landy
There are some dogs which, when you meet them, remind you that, despite thousands of years of man-made evolution, every dog is still only two meals away from being a wolf. These dogs advance deliberately, purposefully, the wilderness made flesh, their teeth yellow, their breath a-stink, while in the distance their owners witter, "He's an old soppy really, just poke him if he's a nuisance," and in the green of their eyes the red campfires of the Pleistocene gleam and flicker.
Neil Gaiman
Jocks usually aren't smart. Their muscles feast on their brains.
Katie McGarry
God, I love a man who reads
Tiffany Reisz
You have to watch your language. People will think you have no fucking class
Lani Diane Rich
Leo. Jason said, you're wierd. Yeah, you tell me that a lot. Leo grinned. But if you don't remember me, that means I can reuse all my old jokes. Come on!
Rick Riordan
I totally carpe-d the snot out of this diem!
Jerry Scott
If he's getting married, he's not longer interesting.
Colette
If you don't make a few ememies now and then, you're a coward-or worse. Besides, it as worth it to see his reaction. Oh, he was angry!- Angela to Eragon
Christopher Paolini
The problem with having evil minions is that minions are stupid.
Larissa Ione