Quotes by Authors - Page 210

There's none so blind as they that won't see.
Jonathan Swift
God bless us every one.
Charles Dickens
God bless me and my son John Me and my wife him and his wife Us four and no more.
Anonymous
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
Rita Rudner
I think of birth as the search for a larger apartment.
Rita Mae Brown
When you're the only pea in the pod your parents are likely to get you confused with the Hope diamond.
Russell Baker
Personally I think any more than two or three kids is not a family it's a litter.
Tracey Ullman
We learn from experience. A man never wakes up his second baby just to see it smile.
Grace Williams
Men will now get up and walk with the baby in the middle of the night change its diapers and give it a bottle but in their heart of hearts they still think they shouldn't have to.
Rita Rudner
You're only young once but you can always be immature.
Dave Barry
I was going to take you out to lunch for your birthday . . . but you already are.
Anonymous
If you think a lot of the comments made tonight are not funny but are immature and tasteless that's only because the sense of humor is the first thing to go.
Anonymous
I wouldn't say someone is old just because his social security is in Roman numerals or because Mozart played at his senior prom.
Anonymous
Remember when we used to laugh at old people when we were young? Do you recall what was so funny?
Anonymous
I'm at an age where my back goes out more than I do.
Phyllis Diller
When we're young we want to change the world. When we're old we want to change the young.
Anonymous
When Julia Child was asked to what she credited her longevity she replied "Red meat and gin."
Anonymous
Life begins at fifty but so does bad eyesight arthritis and the habit of telling the same story three times to the same listeners.
Anonymous
When she told me her age I believed her - why not? she hasn't changed her story for five years.
Anonymous
Age is mind over matter. If you don't mind it doesn't matter.
Satchel Paige
I have everything I had twenty years ago only it's all a little bit lower.
Gypsy Rose Lee
Middle age occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.
Franklin Pierce Adams
I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her.
Woody Allen
Actually being sixty-five isn't so bad. As a matter of fact I rather like being called a sexagenarian. At this time of life it sounds like flattery.
James Humes
Middle age is when anything new in the way you feel is most likely a symptom.
Laurence J. Peter
I'm sixty-five but if there were fifteen months in every year I'd only be forty-eight.
James Thurber
The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always asked to do things and you are not yet decrepit enough to turn them down.
T.S Eliot
When I think of my dad as a little boy I tend to think of him in black and white.
Anonymous
Middle age is when your old classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald they don't recognize you.
Bennett Cerf
My notion of a wife at forty is that a man should be able to change her like a banknote for two twenties.
Douglas Jerrold
Sometimes I feel that I'm not just aging . . . I'm decomposing.
Fletcher Anderson
Of all the things I miss the thing I miss the most is my mind.
Lotus Weinstock
Pushing fifty is exercise enough.
Anonymous
What can you say when your husband says: 'You can't expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older."
Toni Anderson
The age of some women is like the speedometer on a used car - you know it's set back but you don't know how far.
Anonymous
Looking fifty is great - if you're sixty.
Joan Rivers
She's not pushing forty she's dragging it.
Anonymous
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to a hundred.
Woody Allen
Enjoy how sweet how thoughtful how kind I'm being on your birthday. Because tomorrow it's back to the same old crap.
Melvin Helitzer
You know you're getting older when you don't care where your wife goes just so you don't have to go along.
Jacob Braude
Born on Monday fair in the face Born on Tuesday full of God's grace Born on Wednesday sour and sad Born on Thursday merry and glad Born on Friday worthily given
Anonymous
And when I was born I drew in the common air and fell upon the earth which is of like nature and the first voice which I uttered was crying as all others do . . . For all men have one entrance into life. The Apocrypha Monday's child is fair of face Tuesday's child is full of grace Wednesday's child is full of woe Thursday's child has far to go Friday's child is loving and giving Saturday's child works hard for a living But the child born on the Sabbath day Is happy and wise and good and gay.
Anonymous
Husbands don't really count ... in the miracle of birth.
Doug Spettigue
Where unwilling dies the rose Buds the new another year.
Dorothy Parker
In my beginning is my end.
T.S Eliot
The government is concerned about the population explosion and the population is concerned about the government explosion.
Ruth Rankin
The egg it is the source of all To everyone's ancestral hall.
Clarence Day
And the Raven never flitting Still is sitting still is sitting On the pallid bust of Pallas Just above my chamber door And his eyes have all the seeming Of a demon's that is dreaming And the lamplight o'er him streaming Throws his shadow on the floor And my soul from out that shadow That lies floating on the floor Shall be lifted - nevermore.
Edgar Allan Poe
Birds of a feather will flock together.
Minsheu
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Miguel de Cervantes
Every great man nowadays has his disciples and it is always Judas who writes the biography.
Oscar Wilde
Curfew must not ring tonight.
Rosa H. Thorpe
Nothing is so firmly believed as what we least know.
Michel Montaigne
Believe only half of what you see and nothing that you hear.
Dinah Mulock Craik
Man reaches the highest point of lovableness at 12 to 17 - to get it back in a second flowering at the age of 70 to 90.
Isak Dinesen
Love doesn't just sit there like a stone it has to be made like bread remade all the time made new.
Ursula K Le Guin
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
Woody Allen
Love is like an hourglass with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
Jule Renard
We don't believe in rheumatism and true love until after the first attack.
Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach
Love is a deep well from which you may drink often but into which you may fall but once.
Ellye Howell Glover