Quotes by Authors - Page 190

Passing the SAT: My personal theory is that it has to do with how much money you send them in the mail. I think the amounts they tell you to send are actually just suggested minimum donations - if you get my drift.
Dave Barry
There are a hundred thousand useless words in the English language but they come in handy in college football yells.
Anonymous
Everyone is in awe of the lion tamer in a cage with half a dozen lions - everyone but a school bus driver.
Anonymous
Bumper sticker: Driver carries no cash - he has a son in college.
Anonymous
She's an honor student. She's always saying "Yes Your Honor. No Your Honor."
Anonymous
Last words when sending our boy to college: "If there's anything you want call us and we'll show you how to live without it."
Anonymous
One little six-year-old took home a note saying he need not come to school since he was "too stupid to learn." That boy was Thomas Edison.
Anonymous
My husband managed to cram four years of college into five.
Judy Hampton
You could do anything in your room at college. You could smoke pot live in a coed dorm have a girl. But you couldn't have a . . . hot plate!
Jay Leno
It's strange how few of the world's great problems are solved by people who remember their algebra.
Herbert Prochnow
He couldn't get into Harvard even if he had the dean's wife at gunpoint.
Dave Barry
Education is what survives when what has been learnt has been forgotten.
B.F. Skinner
Those who go to college and never get out are called professors.
Anonymous
The Jews have always been students and their greatest study is themselves.
Albert Goldman
Fathers send their sons to college either because they went to college or because they didn't.
L. L. Hendren
John Milton called his school Christ College 'a stony-hearted stepmother'. The ultimate goal of the educational system is to shift to the individual the burden of pursuing his education.
John W. Gardner
Education n: that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
Ambrose Bierce
And if the student finds that this is not to his taste well that is regrettable. Most regrettable. His taste should not be consulted it is being formed.
Flannery O'Connor
It is of interest to note that while some dolphins are reported to have learned English - up to fifty words used in correct context - no human being has been reported to have learned dolphinese.
Carl Sagan
Soon learnt soon forgotten.
Anonymous
You can lead a man up to the university but you can't make him think.
Finley Peter Dunne
Nothing in education is so astonishing as the amount of ignorance it accumulates in the form of inert facts.
Henry Adams
It is in fact a part of the function of education to help us to escape not from our own time - for we are bound by that - but from the intellectual and emotional limitations of our time.
T.S Eliot
No one can become really educated without having pursued some study in which he took no interest. For it is part of education to interest ourselves in subjects for which we have no aptitude.
T.S Eliot
Schoolmasters and parents exist to be grown out of.
John Wolfenden
A good education should leave much to be desired.
Alan Gregg
Education is indoctrination if you're white - subjugation if you're black.
James Baldwin
Intelligence appears to be the thing that enables a man to get along without education. Education appears to be the thing that enables a man to get along without the use of his intelligence.
A. E. Wiggan
Surely the shortest commencement address in history - and for me one of the most memorable - was that of Dr. Harold E. Hyde President of New Hampshire's Plymouth State College. He reduced his message to the graduating class to these three ideals: 'Know yourself- Socrates. Control yourself- Cicero Give yourself - Christ.'
Walter T. Tatara
We should not value education as a means to prosperity but prosperity as a means to education. Only then will our priorities be right. For education unlike prosperity is an end in itself. .. power and influence come through the acquisition of useless knowledge. . . irrelevant subjects bring understanding of the human condition by forcing the student to stand back from it.
Roger Scruton
Universities are the cathedrals of the modern age. They shouldn't have to justify their existence by utilitarian criteria.
David Lodge
Today's public education system is a failed monopoly: bureaucratic rigid and in unsteady control of dissatisfied captive markets.
David T. Kearns
The true teacher defends his pupils against his own personal influence.
A. B. Alcott
The average PhD thesis is nothing but a transference of bones from one graveyard to another.
J. Frank Dobie
One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers but with gratitude to those who touched our human feelings. The curriculum is so much necessary raw material but warmth is a vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child.
Carl Jung
On many American campuses the only qualification for admission was the ability actually to find the campus and then discover a parking space.
Malcolm Bradbury
If you hit a pony over the nose at the outset of your acquaintance he may not love you but he will take a deep interest in your movements ever afterwards.
Rudyard Kipling
If you educate a man you educate a person but if you educate a woman you educate a family.
Rudy Manikan
I forget what I was taught. I only remember what I have learnt.
Patrick White
Learning makes a man fit company for himself.
Thomas Fuller
Creatures whose main spring is curiosity will enjoy the accumulating of fact far more than the pausing at times to reflect on those facts.
Clarence Day
A gentleman need not know Latin but he should at least have forgotten it.
Brander Matthews
No man is rich whose expenditure exceeds his means and no one is poor whose incomings exceed his outgoings.
Thomas Haliburton
Buy not what you want but what you have need of what you do not want is dear at a farthing.
Anonymous
Bread is the staff of life.
Jonathan Swift
They say fingers were made before forks and hands before knives.
Jonathan Swift
Better is a dinner of herbs where love is than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.
Anonymous
The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
Mrs. Sarah Payson
The proof of the pudding is in the eating.
Miguel de Cervantes
Tell me what you eat and I will tell you what you are.
Anthelme Brillat-Savarin
Is life worth living? That depends on the liver.
Anonymous
I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.
Mark Twain
You can tell German wine from vinegar ... by the label.
Mark Twain
I started smoking to lose weight. After I dropped that lung I felt pretty good.
Michael Meehan
I'm not much of a drinker. It only takes me one drink to get drunk . . . my fourth.
Wendy Morgan
He who laughs lasts.
Mary Poole
Let us eat and drink: for tomorrow we diet.
Wendy Morgan
Most people hate the taste of beer to begin with. It is however a prejudice that many people have been able to overcome.
Winston Churchill
Some people make spectacles of themselves with a couple of glasses.
Anonymous
According to my doctor it's okay to drink like a fish - as long as I drink what the fish drinks.
Anonymous