Quotes by Authors - Page 142

No woman ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.
Anonymous
Definition of a bachelor: A man who likes to invite girls over for a Scotch and sofa.
Anonymous
A bachelor is a man who can take a nap on top of a bedspread.
Marcelene Cox
I don't like being best man at a wedding 'cause there's no way to prove it.
Anonymous
I don't know which was worse the cost of the bridesmaid dress or having to wear it.
Debbie Etchings
Marriage is like a violin. After the beautiful music is over the strings are still attached.
Jacob Braude
I was the best man at the wedding. So why is she marrying him?
Jerry Seinfeld
Love is like the measles. The older you get it the worse the attack.
Mary Roberts Rinehart
It's not that I'm too particular. It's just that I'm going to wait for Dr. Right.
Anonymous
When you see a married couple coming down the street the one who is two or three steps ahead is the one who's mad.
Anonymous
Before criticizing your wife's faults remember that they may have prevented her from getting a better husband.
Anonymous
After fifteen years of marriage my wife wants us to recommit our vows. As a man I don't understand her need to get married again. We've got our toaster let's move on.
Robert G. Lee
Definition of a bridegroom: A man who is amazed at the outcome of what he thought was a harmless little flirtation.
Anonymous
I look just like the girl next door ... if you happen to live next door to an amusement park.
Dolly Parton
He has more chins than a Chinese phone book.
Joan Rivers
I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want an adorable pancreas?
Jean Kerr
They say tall people live a lot longer than short people. No they don't. They're just so irritating it seems they are around a lot longer.
Margaret Smith
He looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to say "when."
P.G. Wodehouse
My sister says she never seems to get it together . . . either her rear looks good or her face does.
Sally Bucko
A big advantage of being bald is that you can style your hair with a damp cloth.
Anonymous
Her figure is harder to ignore than a ringing telephone.
Anonymous
It's good to know that there's a fine line between an "outfit" and a "getup."
Linda Merkin
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb . . . and I also know that I'm not blonde.
Dolly Parton
The eternal quest of the individual human being is to shatter his loneliness.
Norman Cousins
Loneliness is and always has been the central and inevitable experience of every man.
Thomas Wolfe
What loneliness is more lonely than distrust.
George Eliot
Jealousy is no more than feeling alone against smiling enemies.
Elizabeth Bowen
The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is not read.
Oscar Wilde
Literature is my Utopia. Here I am not disfranchised. No barrier of the senses shuts me out from the sweet gracious discourse of my book-friends. They talk to me without embarrassment or awkwardness.
Helen Keller
The great standard of literature as to purity and exactness of style is the Bible.
Hugh Blair
Literature flourishes best when it is half a trade and half an art.
Dean William R. Inge
Good children's literature appeals not only to the child in the adult but to the adult in the child.
Anonymous
In literature as in love we are astounded by what is chosen by others.
André Maurois
A biography is considered complete if it merely accounts for six or seven selves whereas a person may well have as many as a thousand.
Virginia Woolf
The classics are only primitive literature. They belong to the same class as primitive machinery and primitive music and primitive medicine.
Stephen Leacock
The answers you get from literature depend upon the questions you pose.
Margaret Atwood
All that non-fiction can do is answer questions. It's fiction's business to ask them.
Richard Hughes
To be a good diarist one must have a little snouty sneaky mind.
Harold Nicolson
In literary history generation follows generation in a rage.
Annie Dillard
Fiction reveals truth that reality obscures.
Jessamyn West
Literature is a power to be possessed not a body of objects to be studied.
Anonymous
Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man - the biography of the man himself cannot be written.
Mark Twain
A novel is never anything but a philosophy put into images.
Albert Camus
When I read Shakespeare I am struck with wonder that such trivial people should muse and thunder in such lovely language.
D.H. Lawrence
Science is uneasy with beginnings. Mythology is concerned above all with what happened "in the beginning". Its signature is "Once upon a time".
Dudley Young
Literature is my utopia.
Helen Keller
Literature is mostly about sex and not much about having children and life is the other way around.
David Lodge
A novel is a mirror carried along a main road.
Stendhal
Love is how you stay alive even after you are gone.
Morrie Schwartz
Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
Franklin P. Jones
Ultimately love is everything.
M. Scott Peck
Spend a moment every day thinking of someone to love.
Richard Carlson
What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork.
Pearl Bailey
Every day we are offered new means for learning and growing in love.
Leo Buscaglia
A five-word sentence that could change the world tomorrow is "What would love do now?"
Neale Donald Walsch
No one who has ever brought up a child can doubt for a moment that love is literally the life-giving fluid of human existence.
Smiley Blanton
Life is a flower of which love is the honey.
Victor Hugo
Find something you love to do and you'll never have to work a day in your life.
Harvey MacKay
Forget the resolutions. Forget control and discipline . . . too much work. Instead try experimenting. Go in search of something to fall in love with. . . something about yourself your career your spouse.
Dale Dauten
You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are . . . your simple presence can make others happy.
Jane Roberts