Quotes by Authors - Page 141

To live is like to love - all reason is against it and all healthy instinct for it.
Samuel Butler
The porcupine whom one must handle gloved may be respected but is never loved.
Arthur Guiterman
The loving are the daring.
Bayard Taylor
Love is a spendthrift leaves its arithmetic at home is always 'in the red'.
Paul Scherer
Love you know seeks to make happy rather than to be happy.
Ralph Connor
From success you get a lot of things but not that great inside thing that love brings you.
Sam Goldwyn
Human love is often but the encounter of two weaknesses.
Franqois Mauriac
We always deceive ourselves twice about the people we love - first to their advantage then to their disadvantage.
Albert Camus
No one has ever loved anyone the way everyone wants to be loved.
Mignon McLaughlin
Where love rules there is no will to power and where power predominates love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other.
Carl G. Jung
When one loves somebody everything is clear - where to go what to do - it all takes care of itself and one doesn't have to ask anybody about anything.
Maxim Gorky
Love the itch and a cough cannot be hid.
Thomas Fuller
The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved.
Victor Hugo
Immature love says "I love you because I need you." Mature love says "I need you because I love you."
Erich Fromm
If we all discovered that we had only five minutes left to say all that we wanted to say every telephone booth would be occupied by people calling other people to tell them that they loved them.
Christopher Morley
Alas! how light a cause may move dissention between hearts that love!
Thomas More
Going shopping with your husband is like his going fishing with the game warden.
Anonymous
Not all of his relationships were meant to end . . . Once he sent a postcard and inadvertently wrote "Wish you were her."
Anonymous
My sister started to smell trouble when on the second day of her honeymoon the groom started asking for separate checks.
Wendy Morgan
I remember when I got married. I remember where I got married. But for the life of me I can't remember why I got married.
Anonymous
The clearest explanation for the failure of any marriage is that two people are incompatible that is one is male and the other female.
Anna Quindlen
A faithful husband is one whose alimony check is always on time.
Anonymous
Somehow there was a lack of communication - She thought he said: "Till debt do us part."
Brian Morgan
God this request isn't for me it's for my mom. . . . Could you send her a son-in-law?
Lane Lenhart
For their last anniversary she gave him a set of luggage - packed.
Anonymous
I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first divorced me and the second won't.
Anonymous
My wife divorced me because of illness. She got sick of me.
Anonymous
After our honeymoon I felt like a new man. She said she did too.
Anonymous
Getting married is a good deal like going to a restaurant with your friends. You order what you want and then when you see what the other fellow got you wish you had taken that.
Clarence Darrow
He had a great sound system - but he didn't know much about fidelity.
Anonymous
You might try doing what my folks did. Twice a week they would go out for a special meal. . . with wine good food and soft lighting. Dad took Tuesday and Mom took Thursday.
Anonymous
Let me give you an idea how long ago they got married. You know where they met? . . . At a Cubs World Series game.
Jay Leno
The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prison they let you play Softball on the weekends.
Bobby Kelton
I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.
Marie Corelli
A wedding invitation is sent by people who have been saying "Do we have to ask them?" to people whose first response is "How much do you think we have to spend on them?"
Judith Martin
Keeping a secret from my wife is like trying to smuggle daylight past a rooster. Annoyed wife to husband: Can't you just say we've been married twenty-four years instead of "almost a quarter of a century"?
Anonymous
My husband yells comments like "How long till you're ready? Throw out a date."
Wendy Morgan
Advice to son: Never confuse "I love you" with "I want to marry you."
Cleveland Amory
Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it. If you feel the need to marry a doctor I suggest a dermatologist. Good hours free Retin-A.
Rita Rudner
This is a perfect pair - he's a hypochondriac and she's a pill.
Anonymous
The great secret of a successful marriage is to treat all disasters as incidents and none of the incidents as disasters.
Harold Nicolson
Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
Rita Rudner
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
Michel de Montaigne
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Phyllis Diller
You need that guy like a giraffe needs a strep throat.
Ann Landers
The man who boasts he never made a mistake is often married to the woman who did.
Anonymous
They were married for better or worse. He couldn't have done better and she couldn't have done worse.
Anonymous
A smart husband buys his wife very fine china so she won't trust him to wash it.
Anonymous
I'd like to go to assertiveness training class. First I need to check with my wife.
Adam Christing
My wife and I have many arguments but she only wins half of them. My mother-in-law wins the other half.
Terry Bechtol
What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is at all times? A widow.
Anonymous
True love comes quietly without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells get your ears checked.
Erich Segal
So you want to become my son-in-law. "Not exactly. I just want to marry your daughter."
Anonymous
When my wife was asked "Do you take this man for richer or poorer . . ." she answered "For richer."
Anonymous
she: Before we got married you told me you were well-off. he: I was and I didn't know it.
Jacob Braude
My wife is the most wonderful woman in the world and that's not just my opinion - it's hers.
Anonymous
We're having a little disagreement. What I want is a big church wedding with bridesmaids and flowers and a no-expense-spared reception and what he wants is to break off our engagement.
Sally Poplin
He loved her for what she was - rich. He worshiped the ground her family struck oil on.
Anonymous
The last word in an argument is what a wife has. Anything a husband says after that is the beginning of another argument.
Anonymous
I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First let her think she's having her way. And second let her have it.
Lyndon Johnson