Quotes by Authors - Page 107

Epitaph to a waiter: By and by God caught his eye.
David McCord
Coffee in England is just toasted milk.
Anonymous
While you're saving your face you're losing your ass. Never trust a man whose eyes are too close to his nose. I never trust a man unless I've got his pecker in my pocket. Better inside the tent pissing out than outside the tent pissing in.
Lyndon B. Johnson
There's a wonderful family called Stein There's Gert and there's Epp and there's Ein: Gert's poems are bunk Epp's statues are junk And no one can understand Ein.
Anonymous
If Roosevelt were alive he'd turn in his grave.
Sam Goldwyn
Every director bites the hand that lays the golden egg.
Sam Goldwyn
We also serve who only punctuate.
Brian Moore
In California everyone goes to a therapist is a therapist or is a therapist going to a therapist.
Truman Capote
Nothing succeeds like one's own successor.
Clarence H. Hinclcs
When Babe Ruth was asked in 1930 how he felt about making more money that the President of the United States he replied 'I had a better year than he (Herbert Hoover) did.' When Tom Snyder was asked in 1977 how he felt about making more money per year than President Carter he replied 'I have to go out and buy my own 707.'
Cleveland Amory
The ugliest of trades have their moments of pleasure. Now if I was a grave digger or even a hangman there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.
Douglas Jerrold
If there were any justice in the world people would be able to fly over pigeons for a change.
Anonymous
In uplifting get underneath.
George Ade
A hole is nothing at all but you can break your neck in it.
Austin O'Malley
Include me out.
Sam Goldwyn
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
Sam Goldwyn
More and more these days I find myself pondering on how to reconcile my net income with my gross habits.
John Kirk Nelson
Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.
Truman Capote
Angels fly because they take themselves lightly.
G.K. Chesterton
Her face was her chaperone.
Rupert Hughes
Sherard Blaw the dramatist who had discovered himself and who had given so unstintingly of his discovery to the world.
Saki
He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
Winston Churchill
His shortcoming is his long staying.
Anonymous
Kiss principle: Keep it simple stupid.
Anonymous
Alimony: the cash surrender value of a husband.
Anonymous
He wouldn't give a duck a drink if he owned Lake Michigan.
Anonymous
India is a geographical term. It is no more a United Nation than the Equator.
Winston Churchill
In baiting a mousetrap with cheese always leave room for the mouse.
Saki
I don't know much about being a millionaire but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
Dorothy Parker
Heat madam! It was so dreadful that I found there was nothing for it but to take off my flesh and sit in my bones.
Sydney Smith
He looked at me as if I was a side dish he hadn't ordered.
Ring Lardner
Forgetting of a wrong is a mild revenge.
Thomas Fuller
Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
Dorothy Parker
A man surprised is half beaten.
Thomas Fuller
Worthless as wither'd weeds.
Emily Brontë
There ain't no answer. There ain't gonna be any answer. There never has been an answer. That's the answer.
Gertrude Stein
Quality not quantity is my measure.
Douglas Jerrold
It is more dangerous that even a guilty person should be punished without the forms of law than that he should escape.
Thomas Jefferson
Of puns it has been said that those most dislike who are least able to utter them.
Edgar Allan Poe
It is to the middle class we must look for the safety of England.
William Thackeray
I believe that this neglected wounded inner child of the past is the major source of human misery.
John Bradshaw
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
Sam Goldwyn
Depression is the inability to construct a future.
Rollo May
The trouble with being a hypochondriac these days is that antibiotics have cured all the good diseases.
Caskie Stinnet
The four-letter word for psychotherapy is 'talk'.
Anonymous
Psychiatry is the care of the id by the odd.
Anonymous
Psychoanalysis is confession without absolution.
G.K. Chesterton
Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings.
Laurence J. Peter
Those modern analysts they charge so much! In my day for five marks Freud himself would treat you. For ten marks he would treat you and press your pants. For fifteen marks Freud would let you treat him - that included a choice of any two vegetables.
Woody Allen
The psychiatrist must become a fellow traveller with his patient.
R.D. Laing
Schizophrenic behaviour is a special strategy that a person invents in order to live in an unlivable situation.
R.D. Laing
Psychiatrists classify a person as neurotic if he suffers from his problems in living and a psychotic if he makes others suffer.
Thomas Szasz
Neurosis is always a substitute for legitimate suffering.
Carl Jung
I am going to give my psychoanalyst one more year then I'm going to Lourdes.
Woody Allen
A psychiatrist is a man who goes to the Folies-Bergere and looks at the audience.
Mervyn Stockwood
A neurotic is the man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is the man who collects the rent.
Anonymous
Dine on little and sup on less.
Miguel de Cervantes
I recommend you to take care of the minutes for the hours will take care of themselves.
Lord Chesterfield
The highest law gives a thing to him who can use it.
Henry David Thoreau
Property exists by grace of the law. It is not a fact but a legal fiction.
Max Stirner